Julian I
| Julian I “The Impotent” | ||||||||
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Julian I "The Impotent" was easily the most pathetic emperor of Drunken Pagan Weirdos, owing to both his inability to be sexually aroused (hence his title) and the fact that he was a wigger. Most historians believe that, excepting extremely rare occasions, the only words to ever leave his mouth were “YEEAAH!”, “WHAT???” and “OKAY!”. Legends persist that he also frequently shouted “YEEEAAHH, BOYEEEEE!”, but stopped doing so after Flavor Flav threatened to pound his (non-functioning) genitals into dust with a rusty hammer.
Notable Events Of His Reign
Wiggastock
This concert, organized by Julian, holds the world record for the Biggest Amount of Wiggers Ever Fit Into One Square Mile. It was a concert consisting of Julian, Fred Durst, Vanilla Ice, and Snow on stage promoting their recent rap collaboration, "Straight Outta White Suburbia". The gods took pity on the citizens of Drunken Pagan Weirdos and caused Julian’s brain to implode upon itself in a desperate effort to save mankind from the emperor’s particularly horrid rendition of 50 Cent’s “In Da Club”. After the monthlong celebration of Julian’s death, his nephew, Julian II, stepped up to the throne, ending the long national nightmare.
