MassPwnage

MassPwnage

Flag of MassPwnage
Motto: "Shoving Peace and Love Down your Throat." Alternately, it's "Hey, where's the bud man?"
[Map URL], or No Map Available Yet
Region	C A D
Capital	Daducheng/Haikou
Official Language(s)	The official Languages are Mandarin Chinese, American English, and Arabic but just about everything can be heard or written in MP. Signficant populations of Pacitalian and Xenizen Cantonese speakers.
Leader	Nominally, the Great Leader Li, who is basically the guy in charge of the Pwnage Armed Forces, but no one really listens to him
Population	Variable, it depends on the tourists staying in the country.
Currency	Coin
NS Sunset XML

MP's Official Name: The Heavily Armed Hippies of MassPwnage

It would be wise to note that MassPwnage is a dystopia, and a surreal one at that. Yes, the player behind MassPwnage is well aware that it would never work in real life, but neither would a Salvador Dali painting. Besides, MassPwnage is life and MassPwnage is the truth behind the ticking hourglass. Let it all melt as you enter the the strange world of MassPwnage....

• Weird Music Plays*

Yes indeed, nobody knows what MassPwnage is really about, or what it does, all they knows is that a bunch of sex crazed, drug addicted hippies hang around the place, and that it has some fantastic scenery, beautiful women, great food and REALLY great drugs. That makes MP (the abbreviation for MassPwnage) a tourist trap, and a rather large one at that. Besides, who DOESN'T want to go somewhere where there are endless supplies of sex, drugs and rock n' roll?

The good times roll in MassPwnage then, just like the populace rolls joints of marijuana.

T3h L@nDM@$$

MassPwnage consists of a huge chain of islands located to the southwest of CAD, east of Greater Dienstad and southeast of Haven. There are over a million islands in the huge archipelago, although there are only a dozen or so large ones. MassPwnage is largely uninhabitable thanks to its lethal jungles, quicksand deserts, freezing mountains, and huge streches of coniferous taiga.

For Tourists

Alright, with the mention of marijuana a few lines back, I'm betting you just suddenly started to pack your bags. Not so fast, you can't just come to MP without knowing a little bit more about it. First of all, a few things all tourists should know before they choose MassPwnage as a destination:

1.) MassPwnage is, for the most part, as hot as hell. I mean, seriously, it's as hot as hell. Temperatures can reach up to 70 degrees Celsius (158 degrees Fahrenheit) in the deep jungles or the deserts. If you burn easily in the sun, stick to the cooler cloud forest region, which averages only 40 degrees celsius in the summertime. If you burn really easily, or like cooler climates, stick to the pine forests and cold steppes up north, which average around 16 degrees Celsius in the summer and -20 degrees in the winter. If you REALLY like cold climates, go to the mountains, where's it's around -40 degrees Celsisus year round.

2.) You need to know about the people of MassPwnage. You will learn about them below.

You Know You're From MassPwnage When

• You're high. You're high all the time.
• You're high right now.
• You have a serious drug problem, but nobody cares.
• Nobody cares because they're too busy getting high with you.
• The sky is not blue, it's a psychedelic rainbow.
• You're don't get hungry, you get the munchies.
• Hemp is not an abnormal clothing material.
• You not only swing both ways, you swing side to side and up and down as well.
• You have sex with complete strangers.
• You have children you don't know about.
• You were raised in a government commune, because you don't know who your parents are.
• You know what a lizardman is
• You have mated with a lizardman.
• You ARE a lizardman.
• The air quality in most other nations makes you sick.
• You're high all the time.
• You speak and comprehend languages you have never spoken before.
• You do so while high.
• You have a doctorate in infinitely advanced quantum physics, abstract metaphilosophy, Ancient Praetonian literature, or some other obscure subject.
• You regular play chicken with man eating strangler figs.
• You know someone that died while playing chicken with a man eating strangler fig.
• You have never seen a pig without wings before.
• You have had sex with at least one Camel Eater
• You never run out of drugs.
• You have had sex with at least one Generian
• You wake up in the bed of someone you've never seen before in your life, and you find it to be perfectly normal.
• You smell good.
• You own a meter long wasp.
• You have a poor short term memory.
• You pay your taxes in foreign currencies
• You have foreign currency exchange rates memorized by heart.
• You want your sons to become one with the souls of the dead by consuming their flesh.
• You want your daughters to play death metal.
• Above all, you want your children to be more intoxicated than you are.
• You go to Upper Xen for the headcrab sushi
• Not much changes about you after you become a zombie.
• Rehab is an entirely foreign concept.
• Drugs are sold in vending machines.
• So is used womens underwear
• So are prostitutes.
• Underage ones.
• Rape is ok.
• Even if you're on the recieving end, as long as the rapist knows what he/she is doing.
• You have condoms on you all the time.
• You would gladly sniff glue, but you think cigarettes are disgusting.
• You have a poor short term memory.
• You have a poor short term memory.
• You own a gun.
• You will win a Darwin Award for shooting yourself with said gun while high.
• You watch SpongeBong HempPants
• You UNDERSTAND SpongeBong HempPants
• You have at least 10 STDs.
• You are truly one with the Universe.
• If you're not, you remember that you need to take another hit.
• You have seen orgies that block traffic during rush hour.
• You participate in such orgies.
• You don't know what gender you are, you don't particularly care either.
• You don't care if a six inch long mosquito sucks your blood.
• You have challenged a Generian to an air guitar contest.
• You have a poor short term memory.
• You also have a poor long term memory.
• New Age hippie rituals always involve weird and lethal blood magic for some reason.
• You join the military to participate in weird and lethal New Age hippie rituals.
• You're high. You're high all the time.

Attitude

The Pwnage people love to have fun, love to party and love to have a good time. They are kind and helpful to everyone they meet and respect your wishes and differences. Of course, all they expect is that you do this of them.

Speech and Language

Travelers might wish to note that Pwnage residents may be both brief and blunt in speech. The residents of MassPwnage are known for their honesty but not their tact. The spartan nature of their speech is because Pwnage are taught to use only the bare minimum of words to get their ideas across.

The languages spoken are myriad and conversations can be held in multiple languages and dialects as long as all the involved parties understand the languages being used. However, common languages that most people would understand are English, Mandarin Chinese or Arabic. There are also an endless varieties of pidgins, creoles and dialects formed from the aggregation of languages. The most popular creole is Pwnage Pidgin, which is easy to learn and use, and spoken by nearly everybody.

Writing

Nearly all writing is in traditional Chinese, no matter what language is being used. In order to avoid confusion among tourists however, most areas will have signs posted in several languages as well as pictures (so that the illiterate or intoxicated can enjoy MassPwnage as well).

Songs that Represent MP

Real Life Songs that Represent MP

- MP as a Nation: Babylon by Soulfly + - MP's Military as Whole: Devil in God's Country by Lamb of God. - MP's Navy: Ocean Land by Orphaned Land + - MP's Army: DOA by The Haunted + - MP's Marines: Another Nail In My Coffin by Lamb of God + - MP's Airforce: Got the Life by KoRn + - MP's Special Forces: Behind Enemy Lines by Bolt Thrower + - MP's People: Closer by Nine Inch Nails + - MP's Economy: People of the Sun by Rage Against the Machine + - MP's Dietary Habits: Mein Teil by Rammstein + - MP's Leader: Cuz I Got High by Afroman + - MP's Intelligence Services: Around the Fur by Deftones + - MP's Environmental Policies: Forest by System of a Down + - Education in MP: Lateralis by Tool + - Religion in MP: Sway by Coal Chamber + - Religion in MP #2: Slutgarden by Marilyn Manson + - Romance in MP: Get Down Make Love by Queen + - Life in MP: Vicinity of Obscenity by System of a Down

Armed Forces

MassPwnage Armed Forces

MassPwnage's armed forces are capable of nearly any mission. Well, ok, not EVERY mission, just the ones that involve killing large numbers of people in a short span of time. MassPwnage's armed forces are considered to be of excellent quality.

Culture

MassPwnage's culture is a mix of many, many things.