Difference between revisions of "New York Jet Fanatics"

Revision as of 22:30, 27 November 2004

Nomadic Peoples of New York Jet Fanatics support The United States of Organisation as UN Delegate

article by Charles Edison

   In breaking news today, the Associated Press has learned that The Nomadic Peoples of New York Jet Fanatics have withdrawn from the
race for U.N. delegate of Alcatraz.  Head Coach Keith E. Guuchueb made the announcement at 5:37 PM on the afternoon of 11/27/04.
   The Nomadic Peoples of New York Jet Fanatics, a very large, socially progressive nation located on the southeastern coast of Alcatraz
Island, appeared to be in perfect position to be awarded the position of U.N. delegate, largely because of Coach Guuchueb's consistent 
attendance, which proved to concerned members of Alcatraz to be a blessing, given the policy of absence and neglect that was instituted
by the previous U.N. delegate, the Federation of Upper Slobovia, a nation which is directly to the north of the Nomadic Peoples of New 
York Jet Fanatics.  Coach Guuchueb's high hopes may have been justified by an extremely witty speech he delivered recently, even if 
nobody heard it.
   Instead, as Coach Guuchueb nobly dictated, "The system is far more important than anything personal glory could ever achieve.  There
are people out there, starving in fanatically right-wing countries or being enslaved and toiling by ruthless dictators that need the 
support of a U.N. delegate that cares.  If the region chooses not to support me, I shall not argue.  We need a U.N. delegate, and 
quickly.  I therefore endorse, with open arms, as the new U.N. delegate of Alcatraz island, The United States of Organisation."
   Two days after the subsequent resignation of Upper Slobovia from the U.N. delegate position and a brief stint at the post by The Free
Lands of Burtona (ex-nation), Coach Guuchueb got his wish.  The United States of Organisation was awarded the position of U.N. delegate. 
Since then, however, he has done nothing to show that he deserves such a title.  Said Offensive Coordinator of New York Jet Fanatics 
Carlos Fleen, "Since the appointment of Organisation as the U.N. delegate three days ago, he has done absolutely nothing in the U.N. 
Two issues he has not voted on.  Is this what we want from our delegate?"
   However, Coach Guuchueb disagrees with this dissenting viewpoint: "I understand the concerns of Coach Fleen, but I do believe that
the United States of Organisation will make a satisfactory delegate.  Give them some time before you attack them."

Charles Edison writes for the Associated Press New York Jet Fanatics chapter.

New York Jet Fanatics

Flag of New York Jet Fanatics
Motto: J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS
Region	Alcatraz
Capital	Meadowlands City
Official Language(s)	Official Language:NFL-Speak. Secondary Official Languages: English, Spanish, German.
Leader	Head Coach Keith E. Guuchueb
Population	134 million
Currency	jet
NS Sunset XML

The Nomadic Peoples of New York Jet Fanatics is a peaceful nation, located on the southeastern coast of Alcatraz, on the North Barrow Sea.

Government

The Nomadic Peoples of New York Jet Fanatics is officially classified, depending on which official category the U.N. would like to display for the current day, as a Liberal Democratic Socialist State, a Democratic Socialist State, a Civil Rights Lovefest, a Left-Wing Utopia, a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise, a New York Times Democracy, an Inoffensive Centrist Democracy, or a Left-Leaning College State. Displeased with these U.N. inconsistencies, the Nomadic Peoples of New York Jet Fanatics prefers to call itself, simply, A Winning Team. The Government is concerned with the status of New York Jet Fanatics, and therefore it imposes a sensible, fair, and just method of providing important social programs. The government has set a list of priorities for public and private programs. The public programs offered are Education, Public Transportation, and Health Care. The government of New York Jet Fanatics believes that these programs are basic staples of life and should not be charged for. The government encourages a thriving, competitive private sector for the goods and services it feels are more luxurious, and not necessary for life, including automobile manufacturing, jewelry, and luxurious foods. The government also believes in the importance of the environment and is dedicated to its sustenance. The government is guided by our great Head Coach, Keith E. Guuchueb, who participates in each legislative meeting. Each of the 41 boroughs elects their governmental representative every 2 years. Each borough has 4 representatives. The boroughs are zoned so that the populations represented are virtually identical in number.