Neo Kervoskia

Neo Kervoskia

Flag of Neo Kervoskia
Motto: We don't stay in one place so long!
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Region	Athar
Capital
Official Language(s)	Gaelic
Leader	Pope Popeye the Blind
Population	<500 million
Currency	kersvos
NS Sunset XML

Neo Kervoskia is a sizeable nation of sadists and horticulturalists located in the region of Athar. Most of the citizens bruise quite easily, and thus generally avoid contact sports. The major sport is teamball, which has rules so complicated that no one can even fathom them. No one has even been able to read them since the reign of Pope Romanus VII, the first pope and ruler of Neo Kervoskia. The language of Neo Kervoskia is the Chinese dialect of Gaelic. It is required by law that citizens of the nation view showings of the film The Core at least twice per day; therefore it stands to reason that no notable actors have come from Neo Kervoskia. The state religion is called Presbycatholuthermorianism, which recognizes God as fourteen separate yet indivisible entities: the God the son, God the father, God the sister, God the mother, God the cousin, God the bishop, God the pawn, God the fat, God the thin, the deity formerly known as God, and God the formerly deceased. The people are oppressed, end of discussion. The male to female ratio is 3: 3/4. Life is unheard of; the mortality rate is 110%. The birthrate is -7 kg/m. Education is served only on Fridays with a side of tapioca. Free speech is unknown, or even taxed speech for that matter. Indeed, everything is taxed. A plastic bubble with vents is installed on the head upon birth; if a citizen does not pay their air tax, these vents are effetively closed.

Labor is provided entirely by immigrants from the neighboring nation of New Kervoskia, the second nation created by Kervoskia. All books are burned upon their production. The state is ruled by a pope who is chosen completely at random. There have fourty popes, seven of which were real, the rest were only figments of an imagination. Funerals are held every Tuesday..at three P.M. Central Standard Time...for one minute. Anyone who cannot be buried at the designated time will be buried the next Tuesday, or will be devoured by their loved ones.

The history is bland and uninteresting, I advise you not to read it; however, if you must, it can be had by writing to Martin Luther Industries, 1220 North Huntingdon Avenue, Spokane, WA 99200, for a charge of "$"999999.99. The geography of Neo Kervoskia is flat. The entire nation is composed of black tiles made by the Free Masons, which is the only act of masonry they ever performed.

Past Popes of Neo Kervoskia (The real popes are marked by an *):

1. Romanus VII*
2. Sudan III
3. Zaire/Congo, depending on the day of the week*
4. Jesus Verson 2.0, followed by...
5. Jesus Version 3.0, with added security patches (however it cannot read floppies)
6. Bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo
7. Me
8. Jim I
9. Jim the Last
10. Jim II
11. James VI
12. James I
13. Lord Spalding
14. Queen Victoria
15. Alexander the Depressing Mediocre*
16. Edward the Dead*
17. Edward the Re-Dead
18. Edward the Cremated
19. Edward IV, the Return
20. Edward V, the Exodus
21. Edward the Six the First
22. God the Mighty
23. Ben Pat Joe
24. Mighty Max
25. Fish Bulb
26. Corky's
27. Corky's II
28. Popeye the Blind*
29. Samson the Weak
30. Samson the Grey
31. Aethelred the Ready
32. Job the Happy*
33. Job the Unemployed
34. Mao Zedong
35. Pious the Sinner
36. Queen Roberta the Loud*
37. Hippie the Redneck
38. Asia Carrera
39. Kevin the Bored
40. Romanus VII