Latest revision as of 08:06, 14 July 2007

Malasrion

The Official Flag of Malasrion
Motto: Hark! Da Gütenberry Jaem.
National Anthem: Oh, Ministry![1]
[[2]]
Region	Wysteria
Capital	Rilesia Ministerium
Largest city	Rilesia Ministerium
Official Language(s)	Gremanese, English, Wysterian
Leader	The Minister
Federation	The Union of Malasrion
- The Revelation of Mah Rah	-431J to Federation
- The Declaration of Jousenry	-429J to Federation
Population	Approaching One Billion
HDI	0.957
Currency	The Malasrionese Mark (Ç)
Timezone	GMT 8
- Summer (DST)	GMT 9
NS Sunset XML

The Commonwealth of Malasrion is a growing country located in Wysteria in the map co-ordinates SAT1. Malasrion is famous for its three incredibly different cultures: Nelen, Jousen and Gremano.

The Ministerial House

Malasrionese Terminology

Date

The Malasrionese date system originates from the influence artificial intelligence and technology has had on their society. Timestamps on emails and other electronic forms of communication are widely considered to be forerunners of their date notation technique.

Cycle 

The equivalent of one day

Observation 

The equivalent of one week

Transit 

The equivalent of one month

Journey 

The equivalent to one year, but is almost never used in informal conversation.

An example of the syntax of Malasrionese Date Terminology 

The Fourth of March 2006 is expressed: 4C3T-2006

Government

Social equality is a core value in Malasrionese ideologies and politicians by de facto are responsible for this. Ironically those involved in government are given Titles and their area of operation relfects this.

The majority of government employees are those of Nelen descent. A small fraction in recent times have been Jousen, but it is very difficult for Gremanesians and Jousenry to perform what is considered elsewhere from Malasrion as 'sensible jobs'. Concepts like 'countries' and 'government' is outlandish and pointless to Gremanese and Jousen people.

Malasrion and Direct Democracy

Malasrionese Government has always consisted of two levels:

Executive 

The Ministry who is able to pass laws and acts through Referenda.

Citzens 

Who partake in referenda, passing or rejecting inituatives and recalls.

Malasrion has overcome past direct democratic limitations over 'machine gun referenda' and has adhered to this form of political process since the nation's inception. Citizens are not currently obliged to participate in Malasrionese Referenda.

Citizens are generally given the choice to vote YES or NO (PLEL or BJÖRK, MÆNG or PURKEL etc) when voting. Statistics from the last thousand or so referenda have revealed that those with Gremanese heritage always vote NO, and those from Jousen always vote YES. Due to the current legislation regarding compulsory voting, Gremanese or Jousen who feel inclined to betray this (now publicly debated) trend do not vote, due to embarrassment. Because of this, 'NO' is regarded casually as a GREMANO VOTE and YES is labelled a JOUSEN VOTE.

Titles

Titles distinguish government heirachy and area of expertise. Examples of Malasrionese Official Ministerial Titles include:

The Minister 

The Malasrionese Head of State and Government

The Minister of Education 

The individual in charge of Malasrionese educational facilities and operations.

The Channel Three News Presenter 

The individual responsible for unbiased reports on local, national and international news.

The Minister of Abuse and Constructive Criticism Consideration 

The individual who is instated as the executive of the Department of Abuse and Constructive Criticism Consideration.

The Ministry

The Ministry is the Malasrionese government, which is an enormous (sometimes quoted as omnipresent) political and social body that almost every citizen is involved in.

Malasrionese Culture

Tribal

The first evidence of Malasrionese culture is the emergence of the Gremano and Jousen tribes. Fossilized remains of prehistoric bowler hats give evidence of Jousenry as early as 1000C ago.

Gremanese Culture

Prophet Gremano I (-466J - -404J)

The first official and distinct separation of the Gremanese and Jousen cultures was upon the emergence of the First Prophet of Gremano (Mah Rah). Gremano's preachings revolutionised early Malasrionese society by inspiring those of Gremanese origin to reject Jousen conformity by ironically conforming to a single social standard. Prophet Gremano best summarises a Gremanese person:

A gremanese person strives to wear as much green as possible. Green is the colour of gremano therefore the person with more green on them is more likely to initiate the Trill of Gremano. (This is an attribute considered by many Gremanians to be of high social standing.)

Definition of the Gremanese Culture

Gremanese culture is complicated. It is so complicated that if you attempted to pick up a fork with your fingers at the dinner table in a Gremanese household, you would be exiled for 13 years in a house full of carrots. There are a number of rules that one must keep in order to prevent exile, imprisonment and general frustration from the Gremanese General Public (GGP)

1. Never pick up cutlery with your hands. Rather, pick them up with your highly dexterous feet. There is one exception to this rule. If you were to sit at the eastern side of a rectangular table, 2 metres by 1 metre, you could pick a desert spoon up with your two little fingers.
2. Pogo Sticks are the only means of transport in Gremanese Culture. The GGP will be quite annoyed to find you walking, running, jogging, crawling, jumping, bouncing (except, of course, when on your pogo stick.) etc. So as a precaution against attacks from the GGP, ride your Pogo stick everywhere, even in the house to go to the lavatory.
3. Many of the GGP are convinced that rain is, in fact, a series of highly liquidated rabbits. They assume that because the rain is actually rabbits, it will be attracted to vegetables. So, to prevent the GGP from attacking you with juju beans, never eat carrots when there is rain.
4. Number four is the most complicated rules of all. If you adhere to it, you wont be exiled, imprisoned or attacked with juju beans. It states that would should always greet another gremanesian with a high pitched warble, then a roll of the tounge followed by the first person saying: "A nutcracker visited me last night," then the second person saying: "It was green. Oh Behold the munch!".

If you are having a conversation that has an odd number of people involved, instead say:

1. "I do enjoy a cup of yellow,"
2. "Though it creates in me a need for mellow."
3. " Would you enjoy some here, fellow?".

In the occasion of more than three people in the conversation follow these steps.

1. If it is a even number of people use the first greeting repeated.
2. If it is a odd number of people you must use the second greeting until 2/1 person(s)

are left.

If 2 people are left, use greeting 1 to finish it of. If 1 person is left use the following greeting: "THERE IS A MONKEY NAMED JAMES."

In order to determine who goes first, you must start with the person who is wearing the most green, then proceed in an anti-clockwise direction. "THERE IS A MONKEY NAMED JAMES" must be said in the traditional gremanese reading voice. It also must be reserved for the highest ranking Gremanian. Therefore, if the highest ranking gremanian is also wearing the most green, the first person to start the conversation will be the Gremanian wearing the most blue. This rule only applies to situations when the one person phrase must be used, otherwise ranking has no effect on the order of speech.

The Trill of Gremano

The trill of Gremano is a high pitched shrieking sound that engages a series of Gremano inducing memories to be played in the heads of those who hear it. This is a delightful experience coveted by many of the GGP.

Neleners

Neleners, as described by the Big Book of Stufferentiation, are a tribe of highly Jousen AND Gremano beings. Though this may seem impossible, it is not. Through a series of ardous testing and training, a Gremanian or a Jousener can become a Nelener. Neleners have a unique interpretive dance that induces, much like the Trill of Gremano, Jousen or Gremano emotions. Also, when in the company of a Gremanian or Jousener, the Nelener themselves takes on the atrributes of that culture. When in the company of another Nelener, they become enter a state that is known as Hyper-Nelen. This means that the Neleners cannot feel Gremano or Jousen, they feel a different emotion all together. WHAT A HYPER-NELEN NELENERS FEELS:

1. A desire to run around in tiny circles and then explode.
2. A desire to attack anything that comes near them.
3. A desire to scream really loudly.
4. A desire to run up to members of the JGP or the GGP and make strange, irrelevant faces to them.

The reason for this is because the conflict of Jousen and Gremano inside two or more neleners creates a highly eratic mood. Though a nelener can dis-engage willingly from Hyper-Nelen, studies have shown that the nelener has a tendancy to implode and appear somewhere else if the Hyper-Nelen bond is broken.

Neleners also have an extended life because it is the conflict of Jousen and Gremano that kills ordinary citizens. The balance of both Jousen and Gremano means that a nelener will not die for around 3000 years. This is why the Minister, Shosta - Kovich, and Noral Mosky are still alive today though they are part of the tribes.

It is widely considered to those foreign to Malasrion that Neleners are very sensible people compared to their other Malasrionese cultural counter-parts.

Tribes of Nelen

There are Three tribes of Nelen that a newly appointed Nelener joins. the most common tribe for Neleners to join is Threndle. Shosta-Kovich The First was the first Nelener ever to join this tribe. He began a tradition that included the making of very strong coffee while wearing Aviators whenever a new Nelener joined his tribe. He is most well known for his Book of Qwert which contained a series of coffee flavoured word puzzles.

The Second tribe that Neleners are appointed to is Rentoth. Noral Mosky The Green was the First Nelener of Gremanese origin to join this tribe. Previously only Neleners from Jousener backgrounds joined this tribe because it was made of carrots (see Definition of the Gremanese Culture) He began a style of music that was based around the general randomness of "The 20th Century From The Far Distant Planet Named Earth."

The third, and least used tribe is called Chifty. The Minister, who rules Malasrion, is one of only 8 Malasrionese to be in the tribe Chifty. This is because Chifty is reserved for the highest ranking Jouseners and Gremanese people. Though both Shosta-Kovich The First and Noral Mosky The Red are both High Ranking Malasrionese, they lack the ability to clap their hands and make a comfortable piece of furniture appear. This is one of the 5 criteria for joining Chifty.

1. Must be a High Ranking Malasrionese.
2. Must be able to clap hands and make comfortable furniture appear.
3. Must be able to initiate the Trill of Gremano
4. Must be able to do a interpretive dance typical of the Earth 20th Century.
5. Must be able to cite The Yim Bendlebee (dictionary of Gremanese) backwards with all definitions correct.

Mahrah

Mahrah, as stated in the Giant Compendium of Early Life Thinkers, is a way of life that includes the separation of emotions so that the state of Hyper-Nelen could only be achieved by a select few. It was created at the very begining of Malasrion culture when, in a incredible feat of amazement, the vessels carrying the Essence of Jousen and the Trill of Gremano were plunged into a Imploding Super-Hole. Though Malasrionese Physics clearly states that if an object were to be placed into a Imploding Super-Hole it would turn into a Yellow Chopstick, the essence and trill were made into a metaphor called Mahrah. Following its creation, the bottled Mahrah convinced many of the Jousener and Gremanian Leaders to become what is now know as a Nelener.

The creation of the song Life of Mahrah by Noral Mosky the Red, Nelener of the Rentoth Tribe, best describes the splitting of the Jousen and Gremano Tribes. Many scientists at the Malasrion National Institute of Investigational Matter have tried to unravel the mystery of Mahrah, but have found that whenever they try to comprehend the vast amount of science-defying information they become quite gremano with frustration. It is now widely accepted that Mahrah will never be fully unravelled.

Mahrah is a metaphor that says, quite literally: "Become a Nelener is quite good, go and join their brotherhood."

Mahrah Club

Mahrah is also a club where people of all ages and class in society can enjoy some quality hoober-ball, which involves the empty exo-skeletons of giant slaters being thrown into large baskets made of Blue Cheese. People can also go to Mahrah to eat high quality food. One thing that sets Mahrah apart from other clubs is that it is floating in the sky, disguised as a cloud. People travel to Mahrah by a series of Mirrors that make the atoms in a subjects body propell at the speed of light against the mirrors. The mirrors are placed at such an angle that the atoms are fired straight into a re-configuring device that puts the atoms back in order.

The Mahrah Club is located in Nelen Territories around Malasrion. Nelen territories exist only as small fragments of land scattered in the Jousener and Gremanian cities.

Trivia

Prophet Gremano pioneered the traditional Gremanese Bosta attire, which the Gremanese still conform to.