Newbia
| |
| Flag of Newbia | |
| Motto: "More newbs than YOU could ever handle." | |
| Uncharted Territory | |
| Region | Land of BnG |
|---|---|
| Capital | Newbhartgrad |
| Official Language(s) | Engrish |
| Leader | King Newbhart IX |
| Population | 5.4 billion |
| Currency | the gold piece |
| NS Sunset XML | |
Newbia - History
"In the beginning, doth was a hole in the ground. And frometh sprang the first Newb-".
Or so the ancient scriptures say, popular theory suggests that the poor man had gotten lost in some uncharted dungeon and ended up in the middle of nowhere. Which we're now calling Newbia.
The Royal Kingdom of Newbia is an average kingdom (which spans the size & approximate shape of australia/austria) who's only trademarked quirk appears to its extreme abundance of newbs.
It's leader, King Newbhart IX, leads the nation with an iron fist. The same way his forefathers before him did. Incidentially the first King of Newbia was also called Newbhart, and there were five different kings between Newbhart the first & Newbhart the Second.
Newbhart III has, for the record, not existed, period.
Moving from the line of royal jackasses and into the more political parts, it can be said with certainty that the mental/political stability of the nation is held in check by liberally switching the monarchy between two major houses/clans. The Newbharts & the Newbinars, the latter family's major contribution to the survival of this incompetent kingdom was when King Newbinar IV lead his brave (yet thick as planks) troops through the marshes of Wereallgonnadie, where he fought and defeated the dreaded tax collector-dragon of Belargonia in anno 800 ad.-...
Economy
Newbia's economy has been on an incline for the past 1200 years, growing from a meager, yet excessive, fishing/agro/mining/tourism/pillaging economy, to a booming information industry, while retaining the virtues of old. (IE: slaying, looting, burning, etc.) The nation's main export appears to be its citizens. Indeed the countless waves of newbs that emigrate to new shores/planets/planes of existance do little but make yet countless other people gawk in amazement of the sheer ineptness these brave souls excel at. That and fanfics.
Geography
The wast uncharted terrain of Newbia leaves a lot of room for speculation at the annual Cartagrophercons. With a majority of the nation consists of rolling hills, farmsteads, dungeons, caves, abandoned mines, occupied mines, deep forests, marshlands, and the occasional stretch of coast or river, Newbia remains a viable cornucopia of resources, despite its plain ludicrous population. But it also leads to the eternal question. Where does Newbia end?
However, popular theory holds that the country ends where the newbs does. Also, there are several custom offices along the roads that, altough they say that this is the border, generally are just placed there for laughs.
Religions
Religions in Newbia are quite abundant, and differ wildly. Ranging from cults, cabals, sects and even organized religious organisations, however the mainstream one has a simple faith in 'The Light' seeing as without it you would stumble in the dark and probably seriosly injure yourself. Their collective scriptures currently taking up several warehouses of storage.
However, none of these religions recieve any govermental endorsement whatsoever and are thus limited to their own income. Thusly they're not particulary heard of outside of Newbia's borders (see geography)
Military
Even though the country seems to be virtually defenceless. The fierce landlocked Royal Navy of Newbia will intercept anyone who dare threaten the country's borders. Wherever those are. (See geography)
Also included in the defence of Newbia are the Loyal Moose Riders of Lolhan, who rides out in a frency of panic whenever a dark lord sneezes anywhere on the globe.
Included, but not nondisclosed:
The brave Knights of Nu The not so brave Knights of Who The not brave knights at all of Cookoo The Spatial Marines of Kheldos. The vertically challenged Men-at-arms of Tintooth mountain. The as-of-yet-unchallenged royal air-fleet of Newbia and of course The Highly-expendable Newbie Infantry Reserve.
==Speaking of newbs:== A minority of citizens in Newbia consists of n00bs. In 1200.ad a law was brought forth to the parliment of Old people, (IE: Oldies) but was rejected at the same time, seeing as it would be a) too much work to set up a new region and name it n00baria (or n00bar), and b) most of the highups in the parliment were n00bs themselves in their youth.(Serious input is appreciated.)
==Current Status of Newbia:== Newbia remains a massively pacifistic and carefree nation to this day. Trying not to pick a fight with any other nations but at the same time managing to keep the fights it HAS picked going strong.
Addendum to note
Unfortunately the current leader's obsession with videogames have led to a slight decline in the diplomatic relations with other nations.
