Difference between revisions of "Random Kingdom"

Revision as of 15:37, 17 November 2004

Random Kingdom

Flag of Random Kingdom
Motto: Thou shalt not domesticateth thy aardvark
No official maps yet
Region	The Golden Hills
Capital	Unknown
Official Language(s)	British English, Veratanese
Leader	Interim Supreme Minister Barry Maxwell
Population	Last time I checked, it was 197 million
Currency	Stupend (§)
NS Sunset XML

This is part of the Random Kingdom factbook.

Background

Founding

In October 2004, settlers made their way out of Britain to a place where no man had ever laid his hat before. There they met a bunch of natives, having a mass picnic. After a foodfight that lasted 3 days straight, the two factions made peace and created the nation named because of the coincidence that spawned it. Literally thirty seconds after the nation was created, roughly 4 million Britons wearing Hawaiian suits fell out of the sky and went to work in the kingdom. Historians state the cause of this as "freak tropical storms". The people involved swear that they had been in suspended animation, and woke up on the ground. Some citizens swear that they heard the engines of a dozen planes cutting out over the land.

Capital

One of the first things that was done in the new nation was to create the capital. Legend has it that when the first settler dropped his stick in the ground, near the Pacific Ocean, he accidentally killed an uncommon gecko. Seeing this as bad luck, he pulled the stick out and threw it into the ocean. He then walked due north a few paces, found a felled tree, pulled a branch off and stuck it into the ground there. Unfortunately, the ground he was on was directly above a molehill, and collapsed under the weight. Frustrated, he ordered the natives to take the branch and throw it into the ocean with the stick. This was repeated until the southern coast was full of twigs, logs and branches, and the capital was erected. Unfortunately, when he decided to throw a party, none of his British friends could find it. Because of this, the capital became known as "Confusion City".

Relocation

When people from the outside could find the capital, a telegram reached the Houses of Ministry advertising the region of The YoungWorld. No-one knows what happened next, but it apparently involved mass continental drift, the power of knicker elastic, and a thousand military-grade choppers. This apparently happened a few times, until Random Kingdom finally landed like a piece of jigsaw perfectly into a niche in the south end of The Golden Hills, where it has stayed put ever since. People are unsure whether this will happen again, however, and people in the north, east and west borders have a curious pastime of sticking grappling hooks and anchors, from their house, in the other nations' borders, in case.

Farewell Capital

In November 2004, Alexaander fired ICBMs to the capitals of Random Kingdom, UberDisco and JRV. The ones destined for Confusion City hit their target and completely wiped out the capital, killing off the entire government. An interim Supreme Minister was sworn in, but a new capital has not been designated yet.

Geography

Landmass

Random Kingdom is a huge patch of temperate land, with an ocean to the south. In the centre, however, there is a distinct lack of water above or below ground, so convoys of freight trains carrying water between the hills are a common sight. There are a few lakes and rivers dotted across the edges of the nation, however, and the caves in Random Kingdom are full of beautiful limestone formations. In fact, there are more show caves in Random Kingdom than the surrounding nations.

Borders

Random Kingdom shares its borders with the rest of The Golden Hills. It is close to the nations of Ashibot, El Cid the Hero, and Landris. It is situated along the bottom of the region, where it has been for quite a while.

Resources

There are various coal and bauxite deposits around Random Kingdom, most of which are around the centre. There are no mines, however, inside the capital. Information Technology is valued in Random Kingdom, and internet cafés are popular social hotspots. Post offices are few and far between, and spam is quite high for a nation of its economic strength, although the government is attempting to stamp this out.

Politics

Government

Random Kingdom utilizes a twisted form of democracy, where elections are held regularly, but no-one seems to be elected. The overall leaders are Sandy Patterson, Brian Sure, and Colin Opal, but conspiracy theories that they are nothing more than a facade are being drawn up. Whoever it is that is in charge, he/she/they/it seem to be obsessed with rights and freedoms.

Religion

The ethnic majority in Random Kingdom is atheism, with Christianity coming a close second. Anti-semitism and the like, despite the policies on free speech, are not tolerated and anyone heard shouting racist abuse in public is placed in police custody. If anybody wants to be like that, states the government, then they should be exiled.

Punishment

Capital punishment is outlawed in Random Kingdom, instead, people who strongly offend are imprisoned until the victims have been avenged, and if alive, given a dishonourable exile. Plea bargains concerning one individual are illegal - the government believe that it is unfair justice to the victims.

Tour Guide

This was published by Random Airlines earlier this year.

Accommodation

The best place to stay in Random Kingdom is probably the Palm Shades Hotel. Located on the south coast, in the quaint resort of Little Peace, this hotel has received a 5-star ranking by 3 independant tour operators. There is a weekly cabaret on Wednesday, featuring Misty, the talented uncommon gecko, and brief entertainment spots every night.

Food

There are restaurants dotted across Random Kingdom, but the best are the Buxton Café in the capital of Confusion City, and Mackay Hut in Little Peace. Both employ the best chefs in the world, like the talented Gyaja Pyjata, and Martin Skymore.

Airports

The major airports are the Kingdom Aviatary in Confusion City, and Sure International in Bayview.