Difference between revisions of "The Pazhujeb Islands"

Revision as of 13:35, 28 September 2007

The Pazhujeb Islands

Flag of Pazhujeb Islands
Motto: Bandar ka jaaneretam adark k'aousad
Region	Hyrule
Capital	Evir
Official Language(s)	Pazhujebi (official), Yoruba, English
Government	Socialist democracy
Population	7 million
Currency	Pazhujebi riyal
NS Sunset XML

The Country

The Jingoistic States of the Pazhujeb Islands is a tiny island nation in the Atlantic about 700 miles off the coast of west Africa. The nation is notable for having been closed off to the outside world from 269 to 1926 AD. The islands had never been occupied by any except its occupants and by occasional Yoruban invasion forces, but had never been noticed by European cartographers until it was accidentally run across in the 20th century. The country's population are found to have been mostly genetically descended from North Indian peoples. There are various explanations for this bizarre phenomenon, however, native legend and leading Roman historian Frederick Büchel agree on one key explanation; read the historical summary below for more details.

The Pazhujebi people are known for being frustrating at the best of times, and militant at the worst. They are vehemently protective of their independence, and have in the main refused to adapt to modern society or technology (although they have in recent years latched onto several modern conveniences that have piqued their interest, such as modern literature, world football, and private toilets).

History

When Augustus I conquered Egypt in 1 AD, India's major trade partner in the West came under the control of the Roman Empire. Though trade at first was enormous, and very profitable for both sides, over the next two centuries the balance of equality in the trade agreement increasingly began to shift more in favor of the Indians. The exact reasons for this are unclear; but most theories center around Roman decadence only increasing even as their empire was declining.

At any rate, the vast wealth that Indians were making off of the Roman empire gave them the opportunity to spread out in the world. By the year 200 AD, over 1 million people of Indian descent resided within the range of the Roman Empire. Though they remained very protective of their native culture, and most continued to speak either Sanskrit or other native Indian tongues, some truly settled into life as Roman citizens, learning Latin and becoming entrepreneurs or soldiers.

What happened in the year 269 has not been well documented, and what native Pazhujebis allege happened is not even remotely backed up by the discoveries of modern Roman historians. However, according to Pazhujebi historians (most notably the historian Ndubuj) in 269 AD the emperor Claudius II failed to defend the city of Athens from the Heruli (northern European invaders), and frustration among the Roman people at the disrepair of their great empire reached a zenith. Though the previous sentence's events are backed up by Western historians, the allegation that this frustration took the form of a mass deportation of the Indian population is still under massive debate. Many Roman historians allege that it never happened, where as Pazhujebi historians (and leading German historian Frederick Büchel) are adamant that it did.

<div" class="plainlinksneverexpand">

Ndubuj (b. 498 AD) is one of the most well-known (and controversial) Pazhujebi historians

In any case, what is known is that by the end of 269, the population of Roman citizens of Indian descent fell abruptly to zero. The Pazhujebi account is a reasonable explanation for this exodus: Claudius issued a decree (which is by Western accounts undocumented) ordering that all people of Indian descent be either killed or taken forcefully to the western coast of Spain and shoved off in poorly constructed boats. 700,000 Indians left from the coast. It is completely unexplained how 200,000 of them found their way to the isles several hundred miles off the coast of West Africa; but what is known is that most of the citizens who were deported off the coast of Spain in those flimsy boats died at sea.

Some geologists suggest that there may have been a radical but temporary shift in the Atlantic Ocean's current, such that rather than being carried north towards the British Isles, the refugees instead floated hundreds of miles straight west, and were then snatched by the cold current on the far side of the ocean (tantalizingly close to the American coastline) and propelled back towards Africa. If this were to happen it would surely have had to take place during the winter months, which matches with Pazhujebi history.

In any case, Western historians and cartographers knew nothing of the islands until 1926, when they were tripped across by a British military vessel en route to South Africa. In that empty nearly two-millenia-spanning period, the Pazhujeb Islands' society and culture remained remarkably unchanged. Having arrived at the islands, these former Indians built a new culture, though they were obviously (literally) beginning from rock bottom. Reflecting in some ways the culture of India that they had not forgotten, and resembling in others the Roman culture they had adopted, Pazhujebi society revolved exclusively around democracy.

The flag, which allegedly had been developed long before it was officially hoisted in 1955, is a perfect example of this dichotomy. Though some assume that the unique purple of the country's flag comes from respect for the Roman emperor, this assumption is incorrect; in ancient Indian culture, the color purple was synonymous with mourning. The first Pazhujebis never wanted their descendants to forget the horrors of their terrible journey. However, they did not reject positivity: in the right hand corner of the flag is the symbol for the Roman god Jupiter, the most powerful and grand of all the Roman gods. This illustrates the enormous pride of the Pazhujebi people in their Roman identity, even though the state they loved persecuted them so terribly.

However, simply because Western historians knew nothing of islands does not mean that other peoples were not aware. In fact, Yorubas from the coast of Africa apparently did know of the islands, and mounted various attempted invasions around the 10th and 11th centuries AD. This is presumably where the tendency of Pazhujebis to be exceedingly militant allegedly began; the invasions were voraciously repelled by the Pazhujebis, whose knowledge of Roman warfare gave them a distinct advantage.

Though the invasions failed, many Africans who landed on the islands were ultimately allowed to stay, mostly because the Pazhujeb Islands are quite remote from the coast (Ascension Island is closer than the African coast actually is). This influx of Yoruba culture added yet another color to the rainbow of Pazhujebi society, the most notable being the native African faiths. These religious traditions were, incidentally, the ancestors of modern voodoo practices, and so this is why the most prevalent religion on the Pazhujeb Islands is known as Pazhujebi voodoo.

Government

Allegedly, after their deportation to the islands, there were several years of chaos for the people who would eventually be known as the Pazhujebis. They had extreme difficulty bring about law and order up until the start of the 5th century AD. However, after a while, true colonization of the islands began in earnest, and a society began to grow. What came to be known later as the National Committee ran the government, and was made up of an eight-man panel of shamans and wise men. Years later when voodoo became popular, this panel fell under the control of the voodoo establishment. In approximately 1730, however, what is known in English as the Pazhujebi Senate was formed, and government became dramatically more secular in a period of just a few decades. This makes the Pazhujebi Islands one of the planet's earliest democracies.

The current structure of the Pazhujebi government allows for some truly unique occurrences. Whereas in other democracies, huge bodies endlessly debate the makeup of a law before it is passed, so as to ensure that it does not have to be revamped, Pazhujebi law is constantly in flux, and everyone seems to be all right with that. A small non-elected (though it is appointed by the Senate, an elected body) council, the National Committee, makes quick decisions, sometimes even radical ones, that cannot be immediately vetoed – they come into law immediately. However, the judiciary appeals process is so well-lubricated that laws are often struck down by the government’s highest court (the Senate) within a month of the law being issued by the Committee, if they are considered unconstitutional.

The system can in many ways be seen as the United States legislative system, but reversed: instead of a large elected body passing legislation which is struck down by a small appointed body, a small appointed body passes legislation which is struck down by a large elected body. The Pazhujebi people pride themselves on this; they are the courts. The anomaly in the Pazhujeb Islands’ system is that unlike the United States’ system, there is no single high executive. The National Committee both passes the laws and governs the nation (though again, it is much easier in the socialist island nation than it is in many other nations to challenge the constitutionality of any given law).

There are four major branches of government.

The National Committee

• Members: 8
• Appointed by: The Senate
• Veto power over: The People's Advocacy Board

This body is the only one in the Pazhujebi government whose decisions cannot be directly overturned by any other body. For this reason, foreign bodies consider the 'heads of government' in the Pazhujebs to be the eight members of this council. They are responsible chiefly for lawmaking, which tends to be a much smoother process in the Pazhujeb Islands than it can be in other democracies. They also have direct command over the extensive Pazhujebi military. The Committee is the oldest body in the government, as mentioned above, their history reaches back to a period when government was much more faith-based. Consequently they are regarded by the more conservative Pazhujebi voodoo practitioners as vaguely religious figures, and so they are directly responsible for all environmental initiatives on the islands, numerous enterprises which the citizens take very seriously, often due to their faith.

The Economic Interests Czars

• Members: 3
• Appointed by: The National Committee
• Veto power over: The Senate

The three members of this body are generally not powerful within the overall structure of the government, but within the context of their jobs they hold enormous influence. The Czars (the term is a poor translation of a Pazhujebi word) are the ironclad administrators and overseers of the business sector. Private business is heavily restricted on the Pazhujeb Islands; it is often easier to simply apply for work with the government than to attempt to acquire the requisite licenses for opening a private enterprise. These three figures monitor this behemoth of a socialized economy, and though more capitalist countries slam their titles as well as practices, both of which occasionally recall Soviet totalitarianism, they tend to be respected by the Pazhujebi people.

The Senate

<div" class="plainlinksneverexpand">

An empty Bavatash Plaza, in the Pazhujebi capital of Evir, with the ancient Government Forum building in the background

• Members: 549
• Appointed by: Elected by constituency
• Veto power over: none

The pride of the Pazhujeb Islands' government, this gigantic body dwarfs not only the other three branches of the Pazhujebi government, but comparable elected bodies of other world nations. This tremendous assembly is directly responsible for all domestic issues, like public transport, education, and law and order. They also are the highest court in the country, so if a citizen opts to take use of the nation's efficient appeals system, they will come before their elected peers in the Senate. As stated above, this is something that the citizens of the islands are extremely proud of, and they tend to see other countries' judicial systems as elitist, corrupt, or both. Though the Senate's decisions can often be overturned by a lengthy chain of veto opportunities, they either directly or indirectly are responsible for the appointment of most of the rest of the government.

The People's Advocacy Board

• Members: 4
• Appointed by: Elected by constituency
• Veto power over: The Economic Interests Czars

This fourth and most recently formed branch of government is the only one whose appointment is beyond the control of the Senate. Though their range of control is limited, for a small and relatively new body the four members of the Board are quite powerful. Their decisions regard the Pazhujeb Islands' vast social welfare infrastructure, including health care, automatic welfare for every citizen, social work, social equality initiatives, and other entirely free government programs. Additionally, their decision on said programs are generally final, as the only body with veto power over the Board's choices is the National Committee. Further, they have the capacity to appeal many of the Senate's decisions and block law strike-downs that the Senate might otherwise have no challenge in implementing. Though the People's Advocacy Board is frequently overlooked, it is a subtly powerful council that is not to be underestimated.