Twafflonia

Twafflonia

Flag of Twafflonia
Motto: "Quiet! I am privatizing!"
Region	Libertarian
Capital	Twashington D.C.
Official Language(s)	English
Government
Population	1.723 billion
Currency	Twafflonian IOU
NS Sunset XML

Officially obtaining control of its territory in October of 2006, the Economic Council of Twafflonia is a massive, devout, safe, socially progressive nation in the region of Libertarian. It is notable for its compulsory military service, its complete absence of social welfare, and its barren, inhospitable landscape. According to a survey of August 1st, 2007, Twafflonia boasts a hard-nosed, hard-working population of 1.723 billion. Twafflonia's national animal is the free-range twaffle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Twafflonian IOU. The Twafflonian motto is "Quiet! I am privatizing!"

Twafflonia is a UN member with 12 endorsements. Its UN category is "Capitalist Paradise," and its Civil Rights are "Very Good," its Economy "Strong," and its Political Freedoms "Average."

History

The area of land now under the name and jurisdiction of Twafflonia was once divided into three states.

The largest of the three was known as the Royal Unity, an authoritarian triumvirate that claimed that the other two states as "self-regulating" provinces. The Royal Unity's triumvirate consisted of one person (the Electant) elected by and from a High Council of military, scientific, and political leaders; one electronic intelligence (the Caster) programmed with three priorities (first priority the continuation of the human species, second priority the happiness of the human species, third priority the continuation of the Royal Unity); and one human (the Manifestant) cloned from at random from the DNA of a Royal Unity citizen, then raised by both the Electant and the Caster. The Royal Unity allowed its citizens to elect representatives, but the representatives had no authority, serving merely to voice the concerns of the citizenry they represented to the triumvirate's appointed governors. The Royal Unity maintained a powerful military, and ringed its established territory with a militarized zone denied to citizen travel and settlement. It had an active policy of expansion, scouting new areas with the military long before introducing settlers. (The original territory of the Royal Unity was renamed Stigler after the success of the Reprisal.)

The Royal Unity encountered three other nations in its immediate vicinity. The first was immediately conquered, and its name has been lost to history (the territory it occupied is now referred to as the Western Province). The second and third nations sued for peace and were accepted as Royal Unity self-regulating provinces. They were required to dismantle their military, although allowed to maintain their own police forces. The Unity established no-travel zones around the two provinces, effectively isolating them, although limited travel and communication passed between the three states.

One of the states was the Free Commonwealth of Twafflonia. It was a socialist state with a heavy-handed government designed to promote egalitarianism. The state became (or always was) authoritarian and corrupt, with strict censorship laws and mandatory public schools that promoted "proper" thinking. (Under the new regime, the Free Commonwealth would come to be known as Twafflonia Prime.)

The other state was known as The Trove Sovereignty, a moralistic monarchy with a (mostly ineffective) democratic parliament. The Sovereignty's ruling family (the Troves) lived in quiet luxury, occasionally issuing mandates restricting certain "unhealthy" items and ideas, while the parliament squabbled over a plethora of constantly changing laws and regulations intended to promote the safety/equality/privacy/happiness/prosperity/respect/unity/individuality/artistry/education/culture/practicality/industriousness of the common people. (Under the new regime, the Sovereignty's former territory would be referred to simply as Trove.)

The revolution that lead to the Economic Council of Twafflonia has its roots in the immigration of a young economist from a neighboring region. The Royal Unity had just discovered the new region and had begun a systematic conquest. The economist, Milton Stigler, resided in a city that was conquered and annexed by the Unity (a string of Royal Unity conquests in this direction resulted in the territory now known as the province of Annexion). While the Unity was bogged down in war with an enemy it had underestimated, Stigler quietly promoted his ideas and ideals throughout the Royal Unity and its provinces.

Details from that period are scanty at best, but eventually Stigler had established a widespread underground Reprisal. With the Royal Unity's military forces otherwise engaged, the Reprisal struck at the bastions in the heart of the Royal Unity, assassinating the Electant and sabotaging the Caster. The Caster, as its electronic brain slowly died, decreed that the Reprisal's new ideas were the salvation of the human race, and granted Stigler's movement priority access to the Royal Unity's military, governmental, and economic infrastructure.

Peace was not easily won. Stigler's Reprisal managed to negotiate a peace treaty with the nations with which it was at war, but in the meantime was fighting a civil war. while Unity military commanders gave their loyalty to the new government because of the Caster's decree, most maintained committed to the ideals of the old Royal Unity. Only thanks to the police forces of the Trove Sovereignty and the Free Commonwealth of Twafflonia, with occasional assistance from the nations with whom the Unity had been at war, did the Reprisal succeed in establishing order. Purportedly because Reprisalists from the Free Commonwealth of Twafflonia were the most numerous and most committed in establishing the new order, the new government named the entire united nation Twafflonia.

The Royal Unity remnant force commanders signed by the terms of surrender, were offered amnesty, and were integrated into the new Twaffloniam Departments of International Defence and Internal Security.

Government

Government Branches:

• Economic Council
  • Department of International Defence
    • Military Council
    • Military Forces
      • Regular Military
      • Citizen Military
  • Department of Social Policy
    • Legislature
    • Budget Committee
  • Department of Internal Security
    • Judicial Committee
    • Police Force
  • Department of Foreign Relations

Twafflonia's government has three primary departments: the Department of International Defence, the Department of Social Policy, and the Department of Internal Security. Because the relatively small Social Policy Department is seen as the primary "political" arm of the government, outsiders see Twafflonia's government as a very minimalist. The Departments of International Defence and Internal Security, however, are well-funded and boast much manpower (if not political authority). Department heads meet as a triumvirate known as the Economic Council, which directly oversees a fourth and much smaller department, the Department of Foreign Relations. All three departments are governed by a strict constitution that severely limits their powers. All members of the three main departments (with the notable exceptions of police force, and all of the International Defence department excepting the head) are elected by the people according to province, and approved by at least two department heads.

The Economic Council (made up of the Department Heads of International Defence, Social Policy, and Internal Security) reserves the authority to authorize acts of international aggression (by unanimous vote only), and has other duties associated with each department (e.g. the Council can veto the Social Department's legislation and tax rates, and can veto the Internal Security Department's judge appointees). Every year the Twafflonian people appoint one of the three Economic Council members by election--so the terms for each Department Head/Economic Council Member are three years each (with no limit to the number of terms each may serve). They are elected from members of their own departments. In making decisions, such as vetoes, the Economic Council requires at least two of its three members to support its actions. The Economic Council has full authority over the appointment of positions in the tiny Department of Foreign Relations.

The Department of Social Policy consists of a legislature and a budget committee. The legislature is bound constitutionally to pass no legislation except to promote safety and the protection of citizen rights. The Economic Council may veto legislations it views as unnecessary or unconstitutional. The budget committee monitors the spending of all departments, and determines the percentage of government funds to be spent on each department (it is constitutionally bound to spend more on International Defence and Internal Security individually than on Social Policy. The committee also oversees sales tax collection and tax rates (with Economic Council approval). Citizen-funded private watchdog groups are given open access to the government budget records to prevent corruption. With the Economic Council's approval, the budget committee may fund other projects (such as public transport and road expansion). Taxes are collected through private firms.

The Department of Internal Security consists of an oversight committee, a judicial committee, and a police force. The police force is not elected, although the police chief is (from existing police officers). The judicial committee has courts throughout Twafflonia at which citizens may accuse other citizens of violating their rights. The committee appoints judges for each court (approved by the Internal Security Department Head, and can be vetoed by the Economic Council), although judges must prove themselves cognizant of the laws and constitution of Twafflonia. Judges issue sentences of punishment on the offender ranging from the death penalty (typically by electric guillotine) to prison time, to private rehabilitation programs, to community service. If found guilty, the accused may call for a retrial with a new judge. If the defendant is found innocent the charges are dropped, but if this second judge finds defendant guilty a third trial with a new judge may be called. If the defendant is found guilty a third time there are no more retrials; if found innocent, the case is brought before the judicial committee for closer review before a final verdict is passed. The well-funded police force consists of regular police troops and their officers, and works to provide security for all citizens, responsible for the detection and prevention of crimes. The police force often works in tandem with private security forces hired by businesses and citizen groups.

The main ruling body of the Department of International Defence is the Military Council, which consists of the division head (who is elected from the regular military by the Twafflonian people) and the unelected heads of each military division (Regular/Civilian Army, Navy, Airforce, Spaceforce). The Military Council suggests courses of action to take in the course of or in preparation for war. The Military Council is not democratic in nature; the Department Head is the chief executive officer of the armed forces, and does not require majority approval from the Military Council to take action--however, the Economic Council may veto any military actions. The military forces are divided into two main subdivisions: The Regular Military, made up of career military persons, and the Civilian Military, made up primarily of citizens serving their three-year term to protect their nation (although the officers of the Civilian Military are in fact Regular career military personnel, appointed by the Head of the Department of International Defence, or by his/her appointees of proper authority). The two subdivisions are then further divided into an Army, Navy, Airforce, and Spaceforce. The Head of the Department of International Defence is authorized to use the Defence budget to supplement the military with private militia forces if necessary.

The Department of Foreign Relations consists of Economic Council-appointed communicators and intellectuals chosen for their ability to represent Twafflonian ideals peacefully, eloquently, and defensibly. Examples of the duties of Foreign Relations Department appointees include the Twafflonian representative to the United Nations, and Twafflonian ambassadors/embassy personnel in foreign nations.

According to the UN: "Twafflonia is either ruled by a small, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which. There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded individuals juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defence, and Religion & Spirituality."

Government Priority: Law & Order

Government Efficiency: 96%

Modern Twafflonia

Leadership

Current Twafflonian leadership is as follows:

Economic Council:

• Head of Department of International Defence: Miss Ichibana Kirim
• Head of Department of Social Policy: Dr. Andrew Rydalmere
• Head of Department of Internal Security: Mr. Robert Libby

• Head of Foreign Relations Department: Ambassador Biddulph Strathfield
  • Ambassador to Tartarystan: Julia Jezebel
  • Ambassador to Cookesland: Zeren Chatswood
  • Ambassador to Mathism: George Willis (Pending)
  • Ambassador to Kampfers: Dejirah Barsoom (Pending)

Flag

Twafflonia's flag is steeped in symbolism. The yellow disc on the leftmost side of the flag depicts the free-range twaffle waffle, a traditional Twafflonian dish, representing national unity, and reminding the Council of its duty to promote economic prosperity so that "every household can have their fill of twaffle waffles." The red background represents the blood of the Twafflonian people, and as all Twafflonian blood is red, all Twafflonians have extensive and mutual individual rights, with no man esteemed above another in the eyes of the law. The three horizontal bars (two black, one red) represent the Economic Council's three duties: International Defence, Legislation to Protect the Rights of Individuals, and Internal Security.

Territory

Twafflonia is divided into five provinces:

• Stigler
• The Western Province
• Twafflonia Prime
• Trove
• Annexion

The capital of Twafflonia (regarded as a neutral province, without direct representation) is the city of Twashington D.C., lying on the border of the provinces Twafflonia Prime and Stigler.

Economy and Government Spending

Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Information Technology industry, followed by Arms Manufacturing and Book Publishing.

The following information was determined by an independent private external survey service as of August 1st, 2007:

• Exchange Rate: 1 Twafflonian IOU = $0.66;

National Statistics:

• Gross Domestic Product: $22,284,446,005,517
• GDP Per Capita: $12,934
• Income Tax Rate: 0%
• Government Income (% of GDP): 5.1%
• Government Budget: $1,093,187,374,584

Federal Budget Distribution:

• Religion and Spirituality (5%): $52,472,993,980 - This money is used throughout the nation to ensure religious freedom;
• Defence (38%): $398,794,754,248;
• Law and Order (51%): $535,224,538,597;
• Public Transport (5%): $52,472,993,980 - This money is used for expansion of road systems (maintenance is privatized and funded by tolls);
• Government Waste (4%): $43,727,494,983;

Consumer Statistics:

• Private Consumption: $21,191,258,630,932
• GDP Per Capita: $12,934
• Worker Enthusiasm: 83%;
• Consumer Confidence: 80%;
• Unemployment: 7.18%;
• Population Growth Rate: 0.34%;

Crime

In Twafflonia, crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force.

Black markets have been unable to find a profitable foothold within Twafflonia both due to the general legality of most products and the all-pervasive police force.

Twafflonian Trivia

In Twafflonia:

• There have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'
• Record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been recorded
• Military spending is on the increase
• Ethnic minorities are often refused admission to some of the nation's best schools
• A National Academy regulates grammar and usage
• Travelers are often forcibly evicted by torch-bearing mobs
• Citizens are permitted to carry concealed handguns
• Graffiti artists spend lengthy periods of time in jail
• Only the rich can afford the latest medical innovations

Foreign Relations

Following Twafflonia's policy of minimal government, the Department of Foreign Relations has no more employees than absolutely necessary. Embassies on foreign soil typically have but three personnel: an ambassador, an assistant ambassador, and a chauffeur/pilot, all of whom are qualified to represent Twafflonia's foreign policy if necessary. Twafflonian foreign emissaries are instructed in the use of fire arms and are armed with, at minimum, handguns while in foreign territory, except in cases in which such equipment is restricted by the government to which the emissaries represent Twafflonia.

Twafflonia has embassies in the following nations:

• The Most Serene and Holy Altaic Empire of Tartarystan
• The United States of Cookesland
• The Republic of Mathism - Pending
• The Neo-Prussian Dictatorship of Kampfers - Pending

UN Activity

Twafflonia's ambassador to the Nation States United Nations is Mr. Biddulph Strathfield. Ambassador Strathfield, who is also the head of the Department of Foreign Relations, argued against Resolution #218 (the "UN Labor Relations Act") and proposed a repeal of the resolution shortly after its passing.