Franz Joseff Land
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| Flag of Franz Joseff Land | |
| Motto: Fabricate diem, pvnc. | |
| Courtesy of Wikipedia | |
| Region | Tapioca |
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| Capital | Ostrov Nortbruk |
| Official Language(s) | Franglish, Bigtopian |
| Leader | Francis Joseph Archibald |
| Population | Approaching two billion |
| Currency | Rubel |
| NS Sunset XML | |
Franz Joseff Land can best be described as a frigid wasteland. A large strip of coast combined with an arctic archipelago forms the major land mass. It is ruled by High Provost Francis Joseph Archibald, and is more or less an elective monarchy. Elections occur only at the death or abdication of the current Provost, and are thus widely anticipated. However, a single term need not last a lifetime- over the ages, cunning politicians have explored numerous methods of forcing abdication. The shortest reign was that of Harold Perry Thurmond III, who was inagurated at gunpoint and resigned immediately.
The throne of Franz Joseff Land is little more than an old velvet armchair, whose stuffing has needed changing for about fifty years, but nobody has had the heart to do it. The chair itself is structurally unsound; the last man to sit in it was Provost Atticus Raymond IV who immediately got up after it began creaking violently. Because of this, several Provosts have presided over a folding chair, although more recently it has been usurped by a Lay-Z-Boy at the request of Prov. Francis Archibald.
The official spoken language is Franglish, a dialect of Fratzürtespreche. Bigtopian is also widely recognized, and is usually present as subtitles on signs found in Ostrov Dscheksona and and Semlja Viltscheka.
The nation's flag represents, in the words of its designer Raijin Nottojavartski, "Nothing in particular." Pulp philosophers speculate that it depicts a shield, for protection, and a pitchfork, for productivity and utilitarianism. Others maintain that it is a trident, representing control over the seas, or a fork, representing lutefisk. Lutefisk is the national main course, and the national animal is the Polar Bear (which is delicious in a fillet). The national flower is the Viltspreigt, and the national drink is Aquavit.
