Hampster Squared
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| Flag of Hampster Squared | |
| Motto: Making Tomorrow's Mistakes Today | |
| No Map Available Yet | |
| Region | Mushroom Wonderland |
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| Capital | Royston Vasey |
| Official Language(s) | English |
| Leader | Hampster |
| Population | 4.863 billion |
| Currency | human soul |
| NS Sunset XML | |
The Ohso Infamous Straightjacket of Hampster Squared, or just Hamptser², is a large and friendly nation. It is, however, a strange place. Some attribute this to the fact that an infinite improbability drive was dumped offshore in Hampster Squared's oceans a few centuries back, but these claims have never been substantiated.
Contents
Environment
Hampster Squared boasts a beautiful environment, mainly due to the fact that the inhabitants are aware and responsible for its welfare.
Urban development
Urban and inner city areas are all green and covered in dense, lush vegetation with an exotic selection of flora and fauna. Part of the reason for this, and also the reason why all towns, cities and other areas of habitation are far inland is that all the seas off Hampster Squared are made of mercury.
Natural hazards
As has been mentioned, all the territorial waters of Hampster Squared are made of mercury. In some places this even extends out into international waters, leading to interesting and shiny situations. Whether this is due to the improbability drive or not is in hot dispute amongst leading scientists and diviners, but whatever the source, the mercury tide rises several miles each day due to the heat of the sun during the daytime. Once thought to be totally uninhabitable, these coastal regions are rapidly turning up new life forms that have adapted to these harsh environmental conditions. For most of life as we know it however, this is a deadly environment making sailing an unknown pastime expect for the infamous kamikaze kayakers of 300 years ago (the bodies were never found).
Life and society
When visiting Hampster Squared, you may wish to imagine it as an overgrown artists' colony. Cities are structured around the large rooted trees, different sections of the city being amongst different strata in the foliage. Business and industry (as it exists) takes place at ground level, which is where most natural resources are. All other work takes places up and down the trunks. Living and leisure are all in the canopies. Sparsely populated areas are linked by treetop walkways, but the densely populated inner cities are linked by event horizons.
Crime and Punishment
Hampster Squared has a large and ever present police force, and is therefore technically classes as a police state. Everyone gets a chance to serve with the police, and all are trained for police work due to the fact that there is compulsory national service. Police changeovers take place on Tuesdays, and are proceded by the ohso infamous fish-slapping dance. Crime is therefore relatively unknown (mostly because people are too busy watching the fish-slapping dance to perpetrate many crimes).
The main reason for the ever present police force is to prevent to enactment of a harsh and archaic execution method, now thankfully never used in which the criminal would be taken to the seashore, put into a boat and pushed off into the mercury sea to die. Madness, brain damage, sunburn and death would result soon afterwards.
National mascot
The national animal of Hampster Squared is the axolotl. The Hampster Squared itself is a rare hybrid of hamster and axolotl. The reason for the name of the region is unknown, but it is now widely accepted that there was an ancient and fantastically technologically advanced civilisation that existed before our records go back. The Hampster Squared was a result of gene splicing experiments, and stood for all that that society had achieved. That society is no more, but their creations and name remain.
History
Hampster Sqaured stared its long existence in the region once known as The Flying Neurologist League along with Domino Muthaf- -ka, Yjork and Inebriatedonkies. That particular region flourished for a while, but then declined after lack of interest until Hampster Squared and its fellow nations had no choice but to move. Hampster Squared played a pivotal role in persuading the surviving nations of the League to move to Mushroom Wonderland.
External link
- The Flying Neurologist - This publication is the namesake of The Flying Neurologist League.
