Kahanistan

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Kahanistan
kahanistan.jpg
Flag of Kahanistan
Motto: Lex Asinus Est. (The Law's an Ass.)
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Region Graveyard of Deleted Nations
Capital Najaster
Official Language(s) Arabic, English, Hebrew, Latin
Leader President Mohammed bin Yusuf al-Za'if
Population 900,000,000
Currency Racist Shekel 
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Basic Facts

  • Major Cities : Najaster (capital), Al-Bahr, At Tahrir, Al-Qamar
  • National Animal : Verminous Rat
  • Languages : Arabic, English, Hebrew, Latin, other languages with over 10 million speakers include Chinese, French, Japanese, Russian, and Spanish
  • Weather : Arid, but has two large canals and desalinization plants constructed to irrigate much of the land. Normally warm.
  • Natural Disasters : Sandstorms, avalanches, rock slides, lightning, flooding in canal areas
  • Ethnic Groups : 43% Arab, 46% European whites (including Hispanics), 7% African blacks, 3% Asian, 1% other
  • Major Religions : 30% Jewish (mostly Reform), 20% Christian, 20% Atheist, 10% Muslim, 10% Satanist, 10% Other
  • National Holiday : Constitution Day, March 11, Independence Day, August 2
  • Main Exports : Weapons, computers, vehicles, corn, fruit, pornography
  • Main Imports : Grain, fruit, heavy metals, aircraft, sanitation spacecraft.
  • Military Branches : Republic Guard (land and air units), Imperial Marines, Navy.
  • Life Expectancy :

Male: 94.99 years

Female: 100.05 years

  • Gender Ratio :

at birth: 1.07 males / female

under 15 years: 1.03 males / female

15-64 years: 0.95 males / female

65-90 years: 0.98 males / female

90 years and over: 0.94 males / female

Total population: 1.00 males / female

History of Kahanistan

Kahanistan (Arabic: كحانستان, Latin: Cohanista), originated in 2037, when murderous Zionist extremists were banished to the desert to further peace in the Middle East. Between 2037 and 2053, more than two million extremists killed each other and were killed in battles with the far better equipped Egyptians, but managed to take some slivers of territory. In 2047 it changed its name to the Murderous Zionist Entity of Kahanistan, and has kept that name until very recently, although it has been neither murderous nor Zionist in fact since 2062. It is now called the Democratic Soviet Republic of Kahanistan.

In 2071 Kahanistan wrote a new socialist constitution guaranteeing universal human rights. Ostracism from the rest of the world ended within months, and by 2098 Kahanistan was a world power.

In 2215, a team of scientists led by Dr. Hamed Abd-al-Karim al-Ezroti, a theoretical physicist, opened a time-gate, hoping to invent time travel. However, an accident in the laboratory somehow inverted time throughout the nation, sending them all to the year 2005, 210 years in the past. The society itself was unaffected, cities, canals, military bases, warships, etc., were all intact. Due to a weird and currently undiscovered principle of quantum particle mechanics, deployed forces were affected by the temporal inversion too. The timewarp wiped memories from the citizenry, and even altered records so that, for example, Dr. al-Ezroti (2155-2215?) appeared to have been born in 1945. Other than the reversion to MT, Kahanistan remained virtually unaffected.

Resources

Kahanistan's major natural resources are farmland and petroleum, which its industries convert to plastics. Its energy is supplied by nuclear fusion, the byproducts of which it dumps on the barren Moon, where nothing lives anyway. Kahanistan's scientists have experimented with dumping pigshit on the nuclear dumps, to see what kind of mutations take place in the bacteria, however.

Government

Main article: Constitution of Kahanistan

Kahanistan is governed by an elected President in elections every six years, and by three thousand Senators, elected from the hundreds of sub-districts in the major cities and rural areas. Senators serve terms of two years. The Senate (also called Parliament, Congress, the Legislature, and more recently the Supreme Soviet, but "Senate" is the favored term used in most of Kahanistan's English-speaking population) is composed of over fifty committees, including the Defense Committee, which oversees the military, the Civil Service Committee, which oversees government employees, the Finance Committee, which oversees spending on various issues, and many others.

Any senator can introduce a law, but it must first pass the relevant committee (for example, a law to tighten security on aircraft would have to clear the Transportation Committee) and then be delivered to the Senate at large, where it would have to receive 60% of the vote. Then the President would either sign it into law or veto it, in the event of a veto, the President lists his objections and his or her veto requires a 75% majority to override.

The judicial system of Kahanistan is composed of the Supreme Court and several classes of inferior courts, including the Superior Criminal Court, which tries felonies (misdemeanors being tried in city or district courts), the Superior Civil Court (which handles civil disputes in major cases), and the Superior Constitutional Court, which oversees Constitutional issues.

Culture

The Kahanistan culture is a composite of the numerous cultures that inhabit Kahanistan, but much more liberal socially. Kahanistanians consider it a right to do whatever they wish with their own bodies, but most military officers and other bosses oppose the use of drugs on company time. What one does off duty is viewed as one's own business, as long as one's dependents are not adversely affected.

Kahanistanians marry late, the average age being 43 for the first marriage. This may sound unusual, but some of the main benefits from this aspect of their culture are that they generally have more money saved up for children, they have gotten to do the things they wanted to do with their lives without worrying about supporting children, and to decide if they even want children at all. With a population approaching a billion crammed into an area roughly the size of Rhode Island, overpopulation is a serious concern.

Kahanistanians cherish democracy, freedom, and human rights, to the point where they believe that everyone in the world is entitled to them. This attitude is enshrined in their constitution, and has led to numerous invasions of violators, termed "humanitarian operations" by the government and military.

Miscellany

Origin of the name

In the late 20th century, a Zionist extremist group known as Kahanists became visible on the Middle Eastern political scene. After the partition of Israel in 2010 between a Jewish and Arab sector, the Jewish sector was bisected by the Arab sector. The southern half of the Jewish sector was mostly desert. Kahanists were banished there to make peace. Despite being poorly armed, they committed numerous terrorist attacks against both the Jews, whom they saw as betraying the Zionist ideals, and the Arabs, whom they saw as invaders. They suffered far heavier casualties than they inflicted in their attacks. In 2037, they officially stated their existence as a politically separate nation, which they dubbed "Kahanistan." All of the major cities in Kahanistan were built after 2071, during the great modernization drive. However, many of them existed as settlements dating as far back as 2044.

Military of modern Kahanistan

The Kahanistan military consists of the Republic Guards and the Imperial Marines, as well as a small navy. It generally employs about one percent of the total population, and accepts all those between the ages of 12 and 96. While allowing twelve-year-olds into the military may seem barbaric, it is important to note that recruits so young spend years in training, and are usually 20 years old before they even complete training, let alone see combat. Soldiers who have completed the eight years of training are commissioned as officers, Second Lieutenants in the Imperial Marines or Republic Guards, or Ensigns in the Kahanistan Navy. Recruits 18 or older can choose the officer program or an enlisted program, making them combat ready in four months.

Foreign policy of Kahanistan

Kahanistan is generally friendly to its neighbors, but its interventionist policies with regard to human rights violators have earned it criticism that it is "a 23rd century America" in the eyes of many of its critics. Notorious examples of Kahanistan militarism include the Invasion of Xirnium (now an ally) and the conflict with Jenrak, which led to a brief war with the Ottoman Alliance.


Distances between cities in Kahanistan

The following data is intended to convey the size of Kahanistan.

Najaster - Al-Bahr 126 km

Najaster - At Tahrir 134 km

Najaster - Al-Qamar 137 km

Al-Bahr - At Tahrir 160 km

Al-Bahr - Al Qamar 255 km

At Tahrir - Al-Qamar 272 km

Trivia about the cities

Al-Bahr, the only coastal city in Kahanistan, literally means, "the sea" in the Arabic language, one of the four official languages of Kahanistan.

Al-Qamar, near the Air Force base, literally means, "the moon." It is where the space program and lunar programs are based.

At Tahrir, in the southwest, literally means, "liberation." The democracy movement originated there in the riots of 2057.

Najaster, the capital, is derived from the Arabic word najis or filthy. The filthy theocrats were rounded up and shot there in 2066, as part of the move toward modernization.

Allies

Kahanistan, as a member of the Adamantine Alliance, is allied with the Holy Empire of Xirnium and the Holy Empire of St. Fedski. Kahanistan is the largest military power of the three as of this writing.