New Pandemonia
| |
| Flag of New Pandemonia | |
| Motto: Death To Everyone | |
| [1] | |
| Region | Woe Unto Us |
|---|---|
| Capital | Capital |
| Official Language(s) | L33t |
| Leader | National Leader |
| Population | 150 million |
| Currency | Non-Existent Currency |
| NS Sunset XML | |
Geography
New Pandemonia is a huge, sprawling nation that exists in the northernmost portion of the globe. Taking up most of the massive oceanic continent, New Pandemonia is a nation that has no parralel in size. It mostly consists of frozen plains, but there are mountains to the southeast and southwest. New Pandemonia lies off the Sea of Fuck, My Fingers Are Falling Off, the Sea of Felch, Lake Constantine, Lake Tiberius, The Stagnant Lakes, and the Sea of Pandaligament. To its south is the republic of Ubep to its west exists the small republics of The Elan and Salizan. Also bordering on New Pandemonia is Janerosis, a nation New Pandemonia has repeatedly been in conflict with. The small and ultimately insignificant colonies of Sisorena and Rinalto also border New Pandemonia. All nations are sadly doomed to fall to New Pandemonia's impending conquest. No peoples shall be spared.
Domestic Profile
New Pandemonia is a nation that has no parralel. Its rulers suggest that it has in fact existed since the beggining of time, and shall exist till time's end. As a people, the Pandemonians are, despite their repressive society, generally kind to one another (of course, fear of punitive measures by the government contribute to this). The majority of people live within the variety of Urban Provinces or Capital, each of which are almost treated like seperate states, whose citizens cannot leave without executive permission. Life within the cities can best be described as "nasty, brutish, and short", and people generally work their assigned jobs till the grave. The rulers of New Pandemonia's origin are unknown, there are no elections, and the leaders present themselves only clad in white masks. Pandemonia's leaders have never been seen in person by the majority of the populace, legend has it that anyone who sees one of the rulers will shortly be deported to one of Pandemonia's satellite islands or instantaneously shipped to the front-line of New Pandemonia's great enemy, who is also unnamed, which exists in the region simply named C.R.P.O.B. Military service is mandatory, currency no longer exists, the citizens of New Pandemonia are given everything they are needed to live, and the government controls absolutely everything. Some diplomats suggest that New Pandemonian citizens do not even know the borders of their own country, as they have never seen a map or talked to a foreigner. History has also been banned within the country, or at least the history changes every day. The family unit itself has been made illegal, there are no parents, or relations. Infants are raised in one of the huge infant "training centers" that exist in one of the several "Urban Provinces" or within "Capital". "Capital" is surrounded by a huge military base, "Military Base", the only man-made structure in the world that can be seen in outer space.
Life
The life of a New Pandemonian could be summed up as follows: while in the "Womb of the State" the fetus is tested for brain structure, and then depending on the result a New Pandemonian technician relays the fetus to an appropriate raising center, upon birth that child is trained for its professions. People work until they reach their date of "Expiration", upon which all is known that the top secret government "C0/|\/|\@ND05" arrive to retire that citizen. Telivisions are everywhere, which display images from the fronts of one of New Pandemonia's endless wars at all times. Any citizen can be called up to fight on the front of the C.R.P.O.B front at any time (rumor has it that the citizens of C.R.P.O.B are Pandemonians, and that the war has been engineered as a complicated method of capital punishment.)
Language
The actual language of the New Pandemonian people is unknown to this day, all is known is that the government, possibly out of mockery of its neighbors, sends all of its telegrams in the internet language "l33t". Few people have lived to hear a Pandemonian leader speak and lived to tell about it, and they are not a member of the U.N, but some say the language sounds like a combination of Ubu with some sort of grunting and shouting. The sole document ever recovered from New Pandemonia, which was carried by the wind over the New Pandemonian border into Ubep was studied by numerous linguistics experts, and they came up with the following translation:
citizens of new pandemonia your leaders would like to inform you of the latest statistics on the front of our most mortal enemy:
6000000000000000000000000000000000000 enemies dead!
All pandemonian soldiers safe!
Furthermore, 82934jnksfjaklsdjaskldjaskdjaskdajska (Editors note: the document continues like this for another hundred lines)
History/Foreign Policy
The history of New Pandemonia is unknown. There is no dating system within New Pandemonia, the year is divided into infinite days, each day is given the same number, 1. The week is infinite days long, and every day is called "1". Every person was born on "1" and every person will die on "1". The current leader of New Pandemonia, a man who refers to himself in his telegrams as vL4|}|\/|1|2 |2@$p|_|71n Ne|2o +he 57|-|. Scholars have translated this to say "Vladmir Rasputin Nero the 5th", but this name is most likely not real and was probably written in order to mock New Pandemonia's Neighbors.
