Sirocco
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| Flag of Sirocco | |
| Motto: "Don't ask me, I only govern here" | |
| No map currently available | |
| Region | Lancre |
|---|---|
| Capital | Chcot |
| Official Language(s) | Siroccan |
| Leader | King Siroc |
| Population | c. 4.5 billion |
| Currency | IOU |
| NS Sunset XML | |
The Holy Hippocracy of Sirocco is an enormous landlocked country that sits at the centre of the giant megalith of Lancre. Ruled by the notoriously daft, belligerent, and generally crazy King Siroc, Sirocco is a nation that has been on the brink of civil war for many decades. Possibly the only thing stopping all-out chaos is that the citizens are a bit too lazy and 'mature' for that kind of thing.
Contents
History
Sirocco began as a small independent factory as a marketing ploy by a company called EarTex ("The only company to have an entire country working for it!"). But things went wrong. Very wrong. Before Public Relations and Senior Management knew what had hit them, the workers had rebelled and overpowered the factory and went on to conquer the rest of the land. The country was renamed Sirocco in reverence of the rebel leader King Siroc. What happened afterwards has mostly been invented by historians who took an instant dislike to the exciting and bloodthirsty events that persistently failed to happen. The most recent event of significance is when the King mysteriously disappeared whilst at a peace conference, the details of which have been chronicled in the Siroc & Newsted saga.
Sirocco originally came from The South Pacific, a small, insignificant authoritarian democracy (so unlike the grand civilisation of freedom and justice we know today, as citizens often note while rolling their eyes) which battled for political supremacy in a long dead region called 'Switzerland Sucks' (the reason for the name of this region has never been established). After a while, Sirocco moved on, taking those who were willing, to a new region which was named Lancre. The rest of the Lancrastian History can be found by following this link: Lancre
Government
The governmental structure can be briefly described as this: King Siroc is at the top of the pyramid, gloating in his palace over his realm, sometimes noticing the many subordinates he doesn't remember hiring doing less important things like governing the country.
Religion
Sirocco is very multicultural. It has often been said that there are more Gods than people in Sirocco and this is certainly true because of the G'rakkaan cult of F'zdibob who have Gods for everything from divine peace to greengages.
Military
Sirocco's military is mostly made up of drunks, social rejects, students, and all the other dregs of society. The guns are all hand-me-downs and the only nuclear weapon is the nuclear pea-shooter, long banned by senior army officials for being too silly.
Culture
Sirocco doesn't really have any unique traditions. Most of them have been nicked from other nations. Indeed, Sirocco Day is merely a poorly-disguised copy of St. Harabushu's Day where everyone has a great time throwing water balloons at each other.
Sport
Sirocco is a keen participant in The Lancre Cup. Unfortunately, they're not very good. Their greatest sporting hero was a man called Errthyngus Huildos. He won the championship for nude darts once.
Language
The Siroccan language is a hotchpotch of the many dialects and tongues from neighbouring nations and regions, plus words that Siroccans invented just for the sheer thrill of it. Some examples of the Siroccan language:
"Dibbyrklop'sykklo." - "Hello."
"Swetryuklopsson fttyrd hijjihijjihijji WHEEEE bloink" - "That sounds marvellous."
"Spekolokolokolokol kluminustrian foigledoigl'ebeehoik'ixitangizzuz - "Excuse me ma'am, but your flightless hippo seems to be sitting on my wife."
"Whakarakka'poil ÕsstenikloScrabble pr'aavhivavaa greavendinti" - "No, we don't play Scrabble here."
Terrain
The northern parts of Sirocco are a plethora of tall mountains, gigantic lochs, and enormous ranges of rolling tors and deep goyals stretching for miles on end. The mid-realm of Sirocco is crammed with rainforests and multitudinous wildlife preserves. It is, indeed, a common phrase in Sirocco "Can't make another bloody step for all this rainforest." The southern end of the nation is mostly deserts of ice and sand thanks to the arcane changes in Sirocco's bizarre weather cycle.
There are some cities in these places too, but Siroccan architecture is very boring.
Climate
Blast-furnace hot during the summer, bloody freezing during the winter, and surprisingly mild weather the rest of the year. Except in the southern area where it alternates more frequently than is sensible.
Other features of note
The national animal is the flightless hippo, an animal which, despite the name, can indeed fly. It is said that the term 'flightless' is simply a misnomer and is from the old Siroccan word of flytles meaning 'grounded'. Savage and dangerous, these animals have often been used in Sirocco's few military campaigns (handing out recruitment pamphlets mostly) and entertainment television. For more information, see main article: Flightless hippo.
The national currency is the IOU which has often been blamed for the nation's yo-yo economy.
The national motto is "Don't ask me, I only govern here".
Sirocco is also a senior game moderator and Issue Editor of NationStates.
