Difference between revisions of "Dazza Dallas"

Revision as of 12:33, 12 May 2007

Dazza Dallas is the current coach of Jeruselem's national football team.

Personal data

• Name: Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas
• Gender: Female
• Date of birth: 23th October, 1973
• Citizenship: Jeruselem
• Ethnic mix: Russian / French
• Star sign: Libra
• Religion: Roman Catholic
• Blood type: A
• Nickname: "The Village Bike" or "Dazza". Old schoolfriends know her as "Rabbit"
• Hair colour: Brunette naturally but it's either red (ginger) or blonde now
• Languages spoken: English, French, Russian

Family

• Mother: Natasha Dallas
• Father: John Jerk (not mother's husband)
• Husband: Finn Fumbles
• Children: Michael Dallas, Kate Dallas, Jacinta Dallas
• Sister: Debbie Dallas

Corporate career

• Owner of Razza Dazza, a female lingerie and general sports gear store
• Owner of Kinky Kitty nightclubs, established to give exotic dancers work while keeping them away from the illegal prostitution business. Very popular place for young men to find dates.
• Owner of Razzle Media, the risque media company which does the shows no one wants to do in Jeruselem for religious reasons. A recent TV show is DazMania, which is just QuizMania.

Media Career

Former host of YAP YAP, a current affairs chat show. The show's name was based on Dazza's YAP YAP in The Football Life.

Host of DazMania

Jeruselem Government News reporter for

• World Cup 29 to 34 (as part of The Football Life)
• Women's World Cup 5 to 11

Sports Career

Current jobs: Jeruselem World Cup coach

Jerusalem United

• Cheerleader
• Player
• Assistant coach of Jerusalem United (part time only)

World Cup

• 29 to 33 as player (with interruptions due to pregnancy)
• 34 as a coach

Women's World Cup

• 5 to 9 as a player (with interruptions due to pregnancy)
• 10 as a coach
• 11 as an assistant coach

Scandals

• Her inability to keep out of videos involving sex or nudity. A lot of them are filmed by herself on webcam.
• Her habit of sleeping with "business associates" occasionally. During World Cup 34, Dazza had a drunken sex session with "THE SCOUT" from Cafundéu after negotiating a deal to send male Jeruselem players to clubs in Cafundéu.
• Her rise to international fame was a mixture of her pure ability on the football field and on the TV mixed with her ability to sleep with right people to get her way.

Medical conditions

• Nymphomania
• Weak knee ligaments
• Anxiety mood swings

Useless information

Faves

• Favorite things: Her kids
• Favorite dance: Cha cha
• Favorite color: Pink
• Favorite activity: Sex (anywhere)
• Favorite food: Spaghetti
• Favorite phase: On ya bike

Worst habits:

• Not wearing underwear
• Tripping over cracks
• Constant giggling
• Exposing herself in public
• Sleeping with men when she's drunk

Passions

• Fast cars - when she's not having sex or working or taking care of the kids. She has a collection of exotic fast cars. She has a fondness for Ferraris.
• Protection of sex workers - Dazza puts money into local schemes to allow former prostitutes on the street to get real work and respect in community. She employs a lot of them in her media company which explains why there's so many good looking women working there.

Best friends

• Monique Alexander, football player and porn star
• Dazza Deux, cybernetically enhanced human molded to look like Dazza
• Anna Goldstein, former football player and coach
• Wayne Wastle, rival sports presenter
• Ricky Pointy Stick, champion cyclist
• Kylie Kool, champion cyclist

Related Media

• The Dazza Test, a test given to prospective female JGN employees
• Dirty Football, NC-17 documentary about Dazza Dallas's rise to fame.
• Football Floosie, XXX movie based on Dazza Dallas's rise to fame. Dirty Football is based on this movie.