Retired WerePenguins
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| Motto: WerePenguins are Nifty! | |||||
| No Map Available Yet | |||||
| Region | Zhaucauozian Friendship | ||||
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| Capital | Azure City | ||||
| Official Language(s) | English, French | ||||
| Government | Democratic Republic | ||||
| - Faithful Navigator | RTO Marian Red | ||||
| - Faithful Captain | RTO Betty Blonde | ||||
| - Faithful Pilot | RTO Regina Brown | ||||
| - UN Representative | Flash Blonde | ||||
| Population | 2,247,000,000 | ||||
| GDP (PPP) | |||||
| - Total | T$42,111,881,353,360.00 | ||||
| - Per capita | T$30,738.60 | ||||
| Currency | Token (T$) | ||||
| NS Sunset XML | |||||
Contents
History
The Nifty Fraternity of Retired WerePenguins (originally the "Free Land" then later the "Tourist Eating Land" and then later the "Conch Republic") was established by a small but proud contingent of retired naval officers from Tzorsland. The all female WerePenguin population began mixing with the native penguin population producing the second generation WerePenguins, who were both male and female. Some female WerePenguins were allowed to join the Tzorsland navy. Eventually they married and produced the third generation.
Antarctic Oasis Years
Retired WerePenguins quickly integrated into Antarctic Oasis politics. Due to a treaty with Tzorsland (known as the Tzorsland Puppet Treaty) Retired WerePenguins was unable to join the United Nations as long as Tzorsland was a member. Retired Werepenguins (along with Tzorsland) signed a regional Free Trade Agreement with the nations of the Antarctic Oasis. Another treaty signed between Retired WerePenguins and Tzorsland concerned the right of all female WerePenguins to join the Tzorsland navy. After a United Nations resolution repeal equated non-human sex with bestiality, the Assembly of Senators invoked a conflict of interest clause in the treaty. Ex Tzorsland naval officers were incorporated into the Retired WerePenguins navy. Before the ink was dry on that resolution, the Assembly of Senators approved the "Allied Antarctic Asskickers Treaty" which established military ties with the nations of the Antarctic Oasis. Additional legislation allowed the use of excess tourists to be used as a food source, adding an important source of meat in addition to the normal diet of sushi fish.
The United Nations
When Tzorsland resigned from the United Nations, Retired WerePenguins immediately applied for membership in the international body and was accepted. The application to the Untied Nations was conveniently timed before the election of the delegate for the Antarctic Oasis, which was held in Gruenberg, the retiring delegate for the Antarctic Oasis. The regional debate between representatives from Kivisto, Karmicaria, and Retired Werepenguins resulted in Kivisto being elected as the regional delegate, with Retired Werepenguins coming in dead last.
The Conch Revolution
Shortly after assuming office, Faithful Navigator Marian Red declared the Conch Revolution. Under the Conch Revolution, the title of the nation was changed to the “Conch Republic,” all ties were severed with the Antarctic Oasis, and the nation joined the Antarctic Paradise region. The national flag was modified with the original flag being an insert into the new and improved “Conch Republic” flag, although the original flag is still used by the military.
The Nifty Era
After Karmicaria left the Antarctic Paradise and returned to the Antarctic Oasis, Faithful Navigator Marian Red led the nation back to the region of Tzorsland, the Continent of Niftyonia.
The death of a continent and the era of friendship
Over time the few remaining nations left the continent. Eventually even Retired WerePenguins left for the Zhaucauozian Friendship and the continent ceased to exist (as a legal entity). Recently Retired WerePenguins proposed the following two sets of flags for the official regional flag:
The tourist population
It has been said by the local Adelie penguins that tourists have “always been here,” but most attribute that to their sense of humor. Records indicate that in 1952 a small research station was built where Azure City stands today. In 1956, a larger base was constructed and named “Dumont d'Urville Station.”
When the retired werepenguin officers of Tzorsland’s Navy choose the site to establish the nation of Retired Werepenguins, there was a small but significant population of scientists and researchers both at the coastal station and further inland where Emerald City is today. When the question of the national animal came up someone joked, “What about those ‘tourists?’ Those civilians are so cute!” The result was unanimous. No one thought, at the time that at one point in Retired Werepenguin’s history BBQ tourist would be almost as popular as sushi. Fortunately this barbaric practice has ended.
The national "animal" of Retired WerePenguins, the tourist has had, until recently, a difficult time. Uranium mining resulted in deforestation which significantly endangered the tourist population. Finally in response to concerns about local fish populations, laws were enacted and the tourist population increased to sustainable levels. Controversies with tourists, including a sighting of the famous two headed president of the galaxy, eventually caused the establishment of programs to integrate tourists as functioning members of the general society. Eventually, in response to actions by the United Nations, the tourist was declared fit for eating and became popular food source. Over time, pressure against the eating of tourists grew and in response to declining numbers tourist eating was banned. Ironically the United Nations recently repealed the ban on whale hunting.
Citizenship and Government
There are several levels of citizenship in The Tourist Eating Land of Retired WerePenguins. The highest is the Retired Tzorsland Officer or RTO. RTO citizens are allowed to run for the Assembly of Senators and can also run for the chair positions of the executive branch, Pilot, Captain, Navigator (the title for the official leader of Retired WerePenguins) and Admiral. (The position of Admiral is normally taken up by the retiring Navigator, under the assumption that if you have done your turn of duty in the highest office in the land you can’t get away with your acquired knowledge that easily.)
Recent attempts at forming a military in Retired WerePenguins have created a potential position of Retired WerePenguin Officer. Currently no one has assumed the position of RWPO.
The second level of citizen is natural born and the third level of citizen is immigrant citizen. In practice there is little difference between the second and third levels of citizenship.
For more information on the structure of the government see WerePenguin Democracy.
There have been 13 Faithful Navigators since the founding of Retired Werepenguins. Since only females were allowed to join the Tzorsland navy and since you have to be a retired officer to be elected to the Chair Officers, all the Faithful Navigators have been women. With the addition of male officers from the Werepenguin navy it is possible that in the future a male could become Faithful Navigator but it is highly unlikely.
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- RTO Susan Brown (1st generation)
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- RTO Christine Red (2nd generation)
- RTO Elizabeth Brown (1st generation)
- RTO Marian Red (1st generation)
United Nations
With the resignation of Tzorsland from the UN, Retired Werepenguins applied and was approved to join this august body. Flash Blonde, famous rugby player for the Emerald City Munchkins was appointed as the representative of Retired Werepenguins in the United Nations. Retired Werepenguins came in third (out of three) in the first Antarctic Oasis election for the position of regional delegate. The current staff under Flash Blonde consists of Red Hot Blonde and three female Adelie Penguins slightly under 2 feet in height whose names are not easily translatable into a written language.
Regional Politics
After the Conch Revolution, relations with the former Antarctic Oasis UN members now in the Antarctic Paradise region improved and Retired Werepenguins was given the pro-tem office of Secretary for Internal Affairs. Faithful Pilot Regina Brown was given the assignment of representing Retired Werepenguins in this position for the new region.
Major cities and territories
Like the flag of Retired WerePenguins, the nation is divided into two regions based on color. Cities along the coastal or Blue Territory are given blue names. Cities along the inland or Green Territory are given green names. The Capital of Retired WerePenguins is Azure City, while the second largest city is Emerald City.
Sapphire Township is currently in the process of becoming an official city of Retired WerePenguins.
Dioptase Township was recently created as a "gated community" to isloate victims of the sexually transmitted VODAIS. Those infected with VODIAS who must leave Dioptase Township must wear distinguishing badges that feature a Grim Reaper holding a skeletal tourist.
Cuisine
If there is one thing all WerePenguins can agree on is the love of sushi. From the classic Nigiri-Zushi, to the rolls of Maki-Zushi, to the molded Oshi-Zushi.
Recently, in both a reaction to recent UN resolutions equating non-human sex with bestiality and in response to a growing tourist population, the Free Land of Retired WerePenguins put tourists on the menu and became The Tourist Eating Land of Retired WerePenguins. Eventually this practice was dropped due to declining tourist populations.
Conch fritters are a ceremonial food typically eaten on Conch Republic Day, January 8.
Sports
The most popular sport in Retired WerePenguins is rugby, with the Emerald City Munchkins leading the league with their star player Flash Blonde.
The second most popular sport is "American" style baseball, generally played by the ladies.
Religion
Retired WerePenguins is technically an agnostic nation and does not officially support religion. However, Retired WerePenguins does acknowledge that many tourists who visit the nation are religious and allows any religion to set up places of worship as long as they pay their fair share of taxes.
