Snub Nose 38

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Snub Nose 38
Flag of Snub Nose 38
Motto: "If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck..."
Region Asteroid B 612
Capital Sten
Official Language(s) "Watch yours, buddy
Leader The Guy Currently In Charge Of Stuff For The Frost-Free Bordlerlands Of Snub Nose 38 (TGCICOSFTFFBOSN38)
Population Over 3 Billion Served
Currency Vodka Gimlet 
NS Sunset XML

The Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 is pleased to make the following entry regarding his homeland.

The Guy Currently In Charge Of Stuff For The Borderlands Of Snub Nose 38 (has moods, yells all the time – has “wizard of oz” complex. HUGE office (described as “could play a game of football on one side, and folks on the Other side wouldn’t notice) with an “Elba” room (for, of course, deporting folks to Elba)

The Dragon & The Dragonfly - Our favorite Pub in Sten, the Capital of Snub Nose 38

Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages

Minstry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages
1452 1/2 Enfield Avenue
Sten, Snub Nose 38 - Postal Code 12-4535

The original Minister committed ritual suicide in WC5 due to the pathetic showing of the Hooligans.

Our “New” Minister (fired in WC6, then rehired - twice)

Margaret “(secretary” and sacrificial supplicating of random # gods specialist). Leather pouch with 2 eagle feathers tied to it by a silver cord. Burgundy robe, midnight blue hooded cape (ragged, plain, fancy)(has a “history” with Jack Cass of SSS) Margaret is of “Halfassed” descent. Went to “Alkali Alchemy & Tech” (before ball point pens) “MargaretMask” w/Eclectic Lemming Corp during WC XIV. Druida's "Margaretization Program" during WC18 Qualifiers.

Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders - Looked to “lease” themselves to another team during WC6 qualifiers, Until “eviscerate” mentioned again by Bi Kikere Manager of Tanah Burung Crocodiles (Bi managed Gilmeecia’s team for WC7, but is now but is now back with the Crocs)(raspberry)(and “sour grapes”) & ( “4 and 20 blackbirds”) The Cheerleaders have Kevlar shields, and once participated in a “Dance Off” during a match at Warnocks Wizards – and won. They also Participated in a “Rotten Vegetable Toss”.

Snub Nose 38 Hooligans are the national side of Snub Nose 38

Ben Dover (manager) Sal Manela (manager at beginning of WC9 – “replaced” by Ben Dover)
Eileen Dover (defensive coach) Sally Forth (def coach at start of WC9 – “replaced” by Eileen Dover) Eileen is of “Gilmeecian” decent
Justin Case (offensive coach – exhiled to Elba after WC8)
Beverly (someone the minister called to get Margaret back)(also in charge of ticket sales) “Snubitron” is a ticket outlet. Beverly is the Second Assistant Deputy Adjunct, Snub Nose 38, Ministry of Althletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages
National Stadium (also named “38 Special”) (just about 5 km north of Sten) Put up for sale during qualifiers for WC6. Taken off the market when needed for round robin of 3rd place teams, and was manned by temps from Kelly Girls. Burned to the ground, plowed under and the earth salted after the Hooligans incredibly poor performances of WC16 and WC17.

ASPN (Asteroid Sports Network) Original Studio burned by order of TGCICOSFTBOSN38 after drunken Broadcast (staff into exile on Isle of Elba, new staff hired). New” Studio (previously Minister of A, O & AB office)

Mike Easter - reporter

Ministers “new” office – in the basement(Went to Penthouse, then Estate, then hobo camps, then basement, then tent, back, to basement, back to “regular” office)(WC9 – added “dilapidated tent” office)etc - depending on how well the Hooligans perform in matches.

Snub Nose 38 Football Association (SN38FA) – Commissioner Durinda Face

Snub Nose 38 Football Hall of Fame is located just across Enfield Avenue from 38 Special Stadium

Ministry of Finance and Board Games

Vodka Gimlet – SN38 currency
Vodka Card – credit card

Ministry of Justice and Real Estate

Sheriff of Remington County Referred to initially as “he”, later as “she”...must have replaced original sheriff, I guess.
Remington County Fire Department

“Lefty” Mountbatten – Lawyer – Public Defender & Probate – school w/Huey & Louis of “Dewey, Cheetum, & Howe” & Morton Spignatz (Lemmitania –ELC) at “LRU (Lawyers R Us)”

Virginia Hamm - Vice Assistant Subsidiary Alternate Justice

Marvin Gardens, Assistant Night Manager, Maintenance and Sanitary Engineering Team

Ministry of Health, Mining and Obscure Rituals

Oversaw burning of ASPN studios, and “salting of earth”
Saint Swithens Hospital
Division of Pathology and Execution
Doctor (MD) Earnest N. Dever, Chief of Div of Path & Exec(accompanied Albert Onestone to Gilmeecia – ‘Bert & Ernie)
Podiatry (Podiatric) Ward
Intensive Stupidity Ward

Ministry of Picking Numbers Out of a Hat

Minister (Anita Brake)

Ministry of Super Secret Sleuthery - Minister attempted ritual suicide (WC6) – New Minister appointed (WC6). Slogan - “It did not happen. It will never happen. It isn’t happening now". Minister is Jack Cass (who has a “history” with Margaret)

Woodrow Ulysses Batholomew Lief, (U. B Lief) – Rogue agent, stole Empam – Incident in TB (E’mato splatting) – “brought” back by SSS – Cover was an itinerent peddler, missing for several weeks

Alkali Desert in NW SN38 – where 750 sq mile containment built for “Zombies” caused by “Plague” during WC9

“Q” – develops “toys” just like Q in 007

Ministry of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids

Dollars and Census Agency

Ministry of Commercial Communications, Public Communications, and Oreos

Scuttlebutt – Local Sten newspaper
Remington Grey – reporter (was Mike Grey during the “reporter color incidents”, changed his name to Remington at the end of them)
Felonia Sasalt – reporter (the lighter side)
Remington County Record – Local Remington County Newspaper
Lauren D’order – reporter
Borderlands United Reporters Partnership (BURP) - Print & Live media (ASPN) reporters union (ALL media controlled by 3 moguls)
The Athletic Supporter – Sten print sports (either paper or magazine?)

Ministry of Transportation, Shipping and Potato Chips

Overnight Snubnose Express

Ministry of the Fine and Performing Arts, and Dry Cleaning

Ministry of Don't You DARE Use Steroids - We've Got A MEDICAL STAFF, You Know!

Department of the Interior and Exterior, and All other Eriors

Academy of Science

Doctor Albert Onestone, Chief Academicia (accompanied by Dr. Earnest N. Dever (MD) to Gilmeecia – ‘Bert & Ernie)
Doctor Lucy Van Pelt, Deputy Chief Academician Onestones office overlooks Remington Park in Sten (capital of SN38).

The Academy developed “Empam” (Electro Magnetic Personal Aura Modifier) to prevent Evisceratomatoes (sentient or other) from immediate ripening and “SPLAT” when in the vicinity of a citizen of Snub Nose 38. Then developed Wamam (Wide area multi aura modifier)& an improved “empam” biologically inserted electro magnetic personal aura modifier (Bempam). Worked on identifying the non-substance SN38 didn’t purchase from Gilmeecia During WC9 (Zombie Virus – Salt)(nope, Zombiliis Viriis)

National Anthropologic Society

Ministry of Defense, Offense, and Cucumbers

Field Marshall Mallow
General Practitioner
Major Miner (may have been demoted to Private) in Intelligence
The ministry has (had during WC13) 2 troops. Period.
Captain Homer Simpson, favorite nephew of TGCICOSFTFFBOSN38, wrote the plan for Operation Best Foot Forward (originally for use when Lemmitania was going to invade SN38 with a Shoe (or Boot) and brought up again when KP was possibly to be invaded during WC13 for using Margaret’s name in vain

Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe Barristers – Attorneys at Law & Lawn Maintenance

Huey & Louis Ducke