Erisiya Montanya

Erisiya Montanya

Flag of Erisiya Montanya
Motto: "Fari ne preni malshpari de oni popolo."
[1]
Region	Woe Unto Us
Capital	Port Kallisti
Official Language(s)	Esperanto
Leader	none
Population	120 Million (growing)
Currency	The Flaxscript
NS Sunset XML

The History of the Erisiyan Peoples

Pre-History

In ancient Greece many seperate religious groups existed. One of the most esoteric groups were the Discordians, a large group of people who followed Eris, the goddess of Discord. Around 1600 B.C.E, when Greece was beginning to form into its classical society, the Discordians were looked down upon and generally persecuted by their fellow Greeks. In 1598 B.C.E. the Discordians decided it was high time they left their vile Greek persecutors and followed a different path.

Discordian Diaspora

In 1597 B.C.E. the Discordians set out in a fleet of 40 ships, with an aim of finding a new land they could call their own. Using only the most basic of navigational tools and their pineal glands, the Discordians sailed past every continent on the planet, stopping along the way to dance with the native peoples and introduce them to Eris Esoteric. By 1564 B.C.E. the Discordians had tired of spreading the word of Eris and decided to seriously look for a place to settle down. In 1562 B.C.E. the Discordian fleet came into the region that is now known as Woe Unto Us, finding within it the land that was to be their own, Erisiya Montanya

Early Erisiya Montanya

On October 9th 1562 B.C.E. the Discordian fleet landed at the southern tip of an island roughly the size of the Indian Subcontinent. They promptly named the island for their goddess and the craggy region they landed in, calling it Erisiya Montanya. Using the wood from their dismantled fleet, the Erisiyans built their first settlement, calling it Port Kallisti. From there, the Erisiyans expanded like the Black Plague, moving through the main island and islands surrounding it with such vigor that the goddess gifted them with many messages via their pineal glands. By 1500 B.C.E. the entirety of the area was in control of the Erisiyans, though most of their newly aquired huge land laid unoccupied. Slowly the Erisiyan people grew in size, expanding out into the great plains, building many towns and villages and creating lush farmland. In 1425 B.C.E. contact was made with the nation of Piwahria, a country located on the other side of the region. Soon trade opened between the two nations, which proved beneficial to both, thus starting a long lasting friendship between the two states.

Erisiya Montanya as cultural melting pot

As time went on the remnants of Hellenic culture in Erisiya Montanya slowly began to fade away. This process was considerably expedited by the arrival of a small group of ships from Africa containing African Discordians in 913 B.C.E.. Unbeknownst to the Erisiyans, their traipsing through the world had left its mark; many groups of people began to worship the goddess and listen to their pineal glands. According to the Africans, word of Erisiya Montanya had spread far and wide from the last group of people the Erisiyans encountered, the Ainu of Japan. Roughly translated, the last words spoken by an Erisiyan to an Ainu were “we’re a goin’ that-a-way.” This messaged got passed throughout the Discordian cultures of the world, eventually leading some to attempt the treacherous journey to the fabled land of Erisiya Montanya. After the consulting their pineal glands, the Erisiyans decided “why the hell not” and let the Africans in and integrated them into their culture. By 400 C.E. literally hundreds of separate cultures had been integrated into Erisiya Montanya, providing a discordant mixture of cultures. The Erisiyans were pleased.

Erisiyan Politics

As new, younger countries began to crop up in the vicinity of Erisiya Montanya, a decision had to be made. The decision to be made was on how much of an effect non-discordian culture should have on Erisiya Montanya. It was decided in the first gathering of the General Erisiyan Synod to ignore foreign politics and do what Erisiyans do best; be discordant. All political bodies were abolished, with no de jure positions of government being available. All positions were held on a de facto basis, with anyone taking any political job if they were crazy enough to want it. The only official body was the General Erisiyan Synod, to which every Erisiyan citizen was invited to attend and vote in. This individualistic, Discordian system of government worked well for the Erisiyans and to this day Erisiya Montanya functions much the same way.

The Apes

In 1472 C.E. a group of Mountain Gorillas arrived at the city of Mistassini Freeport, requesting asylum in their native tongue, Swahili. It was four months before someone figured out they were actually speaking a real language, thus causing much confusion. Eventually, the General Erisiyan Synod decided that the Apes were their equals and gave them much of the Eastern Forest to live in. Soon after, the Apes founded their own settlement, called Apetown, in the heart of the Eastern Forest. They have lived in harmony with the Erisiyans ever since, often serving as the nations most eloquent diplomats.

Linguistics

Up until 1908 C.E. there was no official language in Erisiya Montanya, thus causing much confusion and general flabbergastedness amongst the nations people. In 1908, however, it was decided that a change was due. In the spirit of Eris Esoteric, the constructed language of Esperanto was chosen as the national language of Erisiya Montanya, thus utilizing the first international language. While other languages are still seen and spoken with much regularity throughout Erisiya Montanya, Esperanto serves now as the lingua franca of the nation, allowing the peoples of different areas to communicate with each other.

Modern Day Erisiya Montanya

Today, Erisiya Montanya is a vibrant nation, giving personal freedoms out like sexual favors from a ten dollar whore. Erisiya Montanya is a very large, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its absence of drug laws. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 112 million (and rising) live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

International Dealings

Having no standing army whatsoever, Erisiya Montanya has never gone to war with any of its neighboring countries. That hasn't stopped the country from being a major player on the international stage though. Erisiya Montanya has sent observers to many of the most recent wars, including the War of the Clowns and the War of "Pwnage." In many cases, Erisiya Montanya has offered aid to both sides of a conflict, taking trade concessions in return. Most of the aid offered comes from either Ayana City or the Groove Collective, depending on who the aid is being offered to. For example, recently the Groove Collective engineers created something most in-the-box thinkers deemed impossible; a five foot long car that could fit 100 million people. This car was then painted white with multi colored polka dots and given to Vengeful Clowns as material aid during their unfortunate war with almost everyone.

Ironically enough, it was Vengeful Clowns that had attempted to wage war on Erisiya Montanya out of boredom in 1992 C.E. It was pointed out by Sk'ot, de facto leader of the Erisiyan Peoples, that war couldn't be waged on a nation that didn't exist. From March 2nd to December 14th 1992 C.E. Erisiya Montanya ceased to exist in any known dimension of man, temporarily moving to the 34 1/2 dimension where thy dined on fairy cake with the native residents of that dimension, while the Vengeful Clowns fleet sailed around empty ocean in a state of utter befuddlement. This process is a last resort, and only used when there is a direct threat to Erisiya Montanya; other peoples wars is the nations national sport.

Geography

Internal Geography

The Free Land of Erisiya Montanya is slightly larger than the Indian Subcontinent (including Pakistan). Within it are diverse regions and environments, allowing for many different peoples to live comfortably. Erisiya Montanya is broken up into geographical regions. The southern tip is mostly small mountains and high cliffs, with the national capital of Port Kallisti situated at the only low spot in this area. North of Port Kallisti is Lake Serenity, home to the best Bass fishing in Woe Unto Us. The center and east of the main island is the plains region, home to much farming land (centered around the agricultural center of Ayana City). On the eastern shores of the main island is the community of the Groove Collective, a commune of all the artists of Erisiya Montanya, where most of the nations art, music and literature is produced. East of the Groove Collective is the island of New Formosa and the city of the same name. Founded by Taiwanese and Dutch refugees, the island is hilly and forested and is almost entirely of Taiwanese-Dutch decent. To the East and Northeast of the main island is the Eastern Forest, home to the Apes and their community of Apetown. To the far northeast is the island of New Basque and its city of Bastian, home to recent Basque refugees from Spain. Cutting across the north-center of the island is the Wilson mountain range, with the tallest mountain being Mt. Vostok, standing at a staggering 20,000 feet. At its foot is the industrial capital of Vostok. In the north and northwest is the Erisiyan steppes, with the semi-autonomous city Mistassini Freeport located at the mouth of Harshaw Bay.

Regional Geography

The Free Land of Erisiya Montanya shares the region, Woe Unto Us, with Piwahria, Ubep, Janerosis, New Pandemonia, Lumoria, Vengeful Clowns and others.