Difference between revisions of "Audioslavia"

Revision as of 14:52, 18 January 2005

Audioslavia

Flag of Audioslavia
Motto: "4 Billion into three square miles does go..."
No Map Available Yet
Region	Alliance of Socialist States
Capital	Machinegrad
Official Language(s)	English, Gaelic
Leader	William Branstone
Population	4.107billion
Currency	The Quid (£)
NS Sunset XML

Audioslavia is one of the oldest nations to still exist in both the NSWC and the Nationstates world itself. Despite this, the fact that Audioslavia have the largest pool of talent to pick from in the NSWC (in terms of population), and the fact that Audioslavia's GDP ridicules that of, well, pretty much everybody...... the nation is pretty much unknown and the football side has never won anything. Ever.

Nevertheless, Audioslavians are nothing if not weighed down by expectation and have never given up in their quest for the World Cup. Now in their sixteenth tournament, Audioslavia have gathered enough history - and flak - to last most countries a trillion years:

Football History and Statistics

Audioslavia have played 273 football matches in their history.

Out of these 273, they have won 166, drawn 53, and lost 56

Audioslavia have scored 497 goals in their history, conceding 226.

Audioslavia are affectionately known as 'The 'slaves'. This has nothing to do with actually slavery, its just because of the 'slavia' part of the name.

Audioslavia current strip is claret and green stripes. They have had this strip since World Cup 16, and before that they had it from World Cup 4 to World Cup 8, only with black shorts and socks. Other styles of their strip have included a plain claret shirt with sky-blue flashes, and a claret and green striped shirt with three stripes accross the chest. Their away strip is either all white or white with sky-blue stripes.

The team's record victory is 6-0, a result scored in World Cup 6 qualifying against Iuthia, and against Adrasuvare in World Cup 16. Presumably they'll get another 6-0 scoreline in WC26.

The 'slaves record defeat is 4-0 at home to Squornshelous. Although Squorn are a well established team now, that game was their first ever. The result still hurts today.

Some of that pain was taken away in World Cup 12, Audioslavia's most successful world cup to date. On the way to the final, Audioslavia played Squornshelous again for the first time since their original meeting. Squornshelous scored four again, but so did the 'slaves. One more goal in extra time sealed the win for Audioslavia. It remains the highest-scoring match the team have ever played in. Sharing that honour are NEWI Cefn Druids, whom Audioslavia beat 5-4 in WC17.

Audioslavia also reached the final of World Cup 19. However, their route to the final was less impressive as their WC12 run. Whereas in World Cup 12 there were twenty-one goals in the 'slaves knockout-round matches, in World Cup 19 there were only four. They needed penalty shoot-outs to get by Nova Britannicus and Dance 2 Revolution after 1-1 and 0-0 draws respectively. They scraped past Turori 1-0 in the quarter finals and lost out in the final 1-0 to Crystilakere. Despite the failed run, the 'slaves became the world's number 1 side for the next world cup.

There have only been four matches in Audioslavia's history where they have conceded four goals. Three of these matches have been against Squornshelous.

Famous Audioslavian Matches

Audioslavia 1-1 Lemmitania (Lemmitania win 3-2 on penalties), World Cup 4 Second-Round. A game which marked the advent of the phrase 'Mad Zack', describing Audioslavia's then best player Zacheria De La Rocha. 'Mad Zack' became the first Audioslavian to be sent off after picking a fight with Lemmitanian midfielder Mick Mickelson, just after the 'slaves had taken the lead. Lemmitania came back and equalised in the last quarter of the game, and went on to win on penalties. Fortune-wise, the two teams went different ways after that match. Lemmitania were beaten in the WC4 quarter-final but got to the final of world cup 5. The 'slaves went on a losing-streak and failed to qualify for the next world cup. Despite the split in fortunes, it was that match which gave the Audioslavians and Lemmitanians a friendly rivalry which was to follow for years.

Audioslavia 0-4 Squornshelous, World Cup 5 Qualifiers The start of the slump, the 'slaves were mauled at home by a skilfull Squornshelous side who went three up before half-time and never gave the 'slaves a hope. With an ageing side, Audioslavia were no match for the exciting Squornshelean side. Squornshelous went on to reach the quarter-finals of that tournament.

Audioslavia 5-4 Squornshelous, World Cup 12 Quarter-Final Excerpt from the WC12 RP thread:

The match kicks off over excited remarks by Butch and Chris, talking about how they'll finally get a chance to get back at Squornshelous after their 4-0 defeat all that time ago. However, they are silenced by Koren Jackson's first minute goal.

Truman got the ball down the wing, pulled it back for Pavon, who's square ball found Knorr lurking on the edge of the box. Knorr's shot was charged down by Aiden Carsley, but the ball went back of Knorr's leg and into the path of Koran Jackson who blasted the ball into the bottom corner with Pedder left stranded on his feet.

The Squornshelian players dance away to the corner where most of the Squornites are to be found.

Within another couple of minutes, Squornshelous almost score again. Audioslavia are too cautious in attack and Croft's causal ball forward easily picked from Maidens' feet and knocked up front where Knorr is waiting. Knorr plays Richards through, and its two on two in the 'slaves' half with O`Hara and Reid defending against Richards and Jackson. Richards sidesteps Reid and beats him for pace, making it into the penalty area ahead of him, feinting a shot and instead playing a ball for Jackson to run onto. Luckily, O`Hara is more than capable of keeping up with the forward and, sliding through, scrambles the ball away for a corner.

Squornshelous waste the corner, and Audioslavia work on getting themselves back on level terms. Maidens sees a couple of chances go begging and Croft sees a shot clip the top of the bar and out. Audioslavia try to maintain possesion, frustrating the Squornshelous players but ulitmately not making any real headway, before Smith intercepts a weak ball by Ally Marsden and races upfield. Smith runs into Reid, who manages to get a foot in and knock the ball away, but it only goes as far as Pavon who curls over a fantastic ball to Koren Jackson who, with one deft flick, lobs Pedder for 2-0. Squornshelous' 'score early, score often' tactic seems to be working.

Lee Branson is animated on the touch-line, and as the half-time whislte blows, its clear that Audioslavia are going to get 'a severe talking to'. Both sides make a change at half-time. Audioslavia's is attacking, with Wayne Bury replacing Ally Marsden as an attacking midfielder, and Michael Salazar replacing Zak Truman in the Squornshelous defence.

Audioslavia emulate Squornshelous by finally grabbing a goal back in the opening five minutes. Bury holds off a Squornshelous defender and flicks the ball infront of Callum Jensen. Callum beats Arnaud for pace, and his cross is converted quite luckily by the flailing knee of Iain Maidens. O`Malley takes the ball out of the net and runs back to the 'slaves half. Audioslavia are back in the game.

Squornshelous restore their two-goal cushion within ten minutes. Taking the game to the 'slaves, Jackson plays a one-two with Knorr, hits the ball to Pedder's right only to see his shot rebound off the post and in the way of Reid who scoops the ball out for a corner. The corner is taken short by Richards, and curled into the box by Brooks. O`Hara gets a head to it, but only succeeds in knocking the ball down to Knorr who volleys Squornshelous into a 3-1 lead.

With half-an-hour left, Audioslavia look to be heading for another defeat, before O`Malley recieves the ball on the edge of the area with Squornshelous three players around him. He holds off a tackle from Salazar, turns on a sixpence and breaks through the two other defenders into the area. The keeper sees the situation early and rushes to meet the striker. O`Malley's control however is poor controlling the ball too close to the keeper, but in a desperate lunge to knock the ball away from Allen's pounce, he strikes the ball against his legs. It rebounds outside of the box to Maidens, but Maiden's chip is wayward and goes over the bar. A disappointing missed oppotunity, but Audioslavia get the kick they needed.

Four and a half minutes go by before Audioslavia finally do score. Maidens again tries his luck from outside the area. His shot is sliced and weak, but Salazar's clearance is poor, and the ball is placed into Jensen's stride. Jensen fakes a cross, instead cutting inside, 'megging Fuertes and trying to curl the shot around the keeper. Allen gets a hand to it, the ball falls behind the advancing O`Malley, but Shearer is on hand to bag the 'slaves their second goal of the game and get the game to 3-2. Its shaping up to be a cracker.

Seventy-Seven minutes gone, and Audioslavia's attacks seem to be becoming less fruitful. Craig Belmore comes on for a tired Iain Maidens, whilst Squornshelous make two further defence substitutions, bringing Karl Edmonds on for Earvin Smith, and taking forward Philip Knorr off and bringing on midfielder Alex Fink. With five men now in defence, Audioslavia need something special to break through, and that something special comes in the shape of Nicky Shearer. Shearer recieves the ball twenty-seven yards, obviously exhasperated after the wingers and strikers have again failed to break through the Squornshelous defencive wall. Shearer mouths the words 'f*ck it' and strikes the ball as hard as humanly possible. Allen is left motionless in the goal, watching the ball rocket into the top corner. Audioslavia 3-3 Squornshelous.

Audioslavia now have their tails up, and take the game to Squornshelous, filled with the hunger and vigour they found during their victories over Europa Brittania and Gesamkuntswerk. Jensen and Croft play a one-two with each other, and Jensen plays the ball through for O`Malley who runs on to it. Finding himself behind the scrambling Squornshelous defensive line, he bides his time, spying Kieran Murphy sprinting in ahead of the defenders. With a well-placed high-ball, he finds Murphy, and with a simple header Murphy puts Audioslavia into a four-three lead.

Audioslavia look brilliant and Squornshelous look tired, and with time ticking away, Audioslavia play 'keep-ball' and force the Squornshelous team to chase the game. The seconds tick by, but Audioslavia become over-confident. The desperate Squornshelous attempts to get the ball off them have put Audioslavia right back in deep positions. O`Hara plays the ball back to Pedder, who's only choice is to clear the ball upfield. The ball falls to Alex Fink, and as the clock ticks past the 90 minute mark, Fink starts what could possibly be Squornshelous's last attack of World Cup 12.

Fink plays the ball up to Pavon. Pavon turns and releases Richards who scarpers down the wing. Carsley closes him down, and Richards goes to beat him, but is brought down by a desperate challenge. No its Squornshelous who look good and Audioslavia who look breakable. Richards heads into the box and Pavon takes up the responsiblity for the free-kick. Pavon wipes sweat from his brow, places the ball down on the very corner of the penalty area, and steps up to it. The Audioslavian players are expecting the cross, as are the Squornshelous players, but Pavon has other ideas, and his shot is fired low and hard at the near post. Pedder also believes that the ball would be crossed in, and is left absoloutely stranded as the ball flies hard and true into the near-side top corner. Pavon races away back to the Squornshelous supporters in the crowd and is pounced upon by the Squornshelous team. Branson puts his head in his hands in the dugout, Shearer looks at Pedder, Pedder looks sheepish. The final whistle blows seconds after the re-start.

Both sides start extra-time looking cautious, careful not to give a goal away. Audioslavia make their final substitution, bringing on Paul Ward for Kieran Murphy.

Audioslavia maintain possesion, but its Squornshelous who make the first chance. Pavon knocks the ball ahead to Knorr, who splits the Audioslavian defence with an inch-perfect ball through to Jackson.

Koren Jackson bears down on goal, dummies keeper Matty Pedder out of his shorts, but knocking the ball too far away. Keeping the ball in, he spies Knorr making a run and beating a tired James Reid for pace. He chips the ball over but its behind Knorr and cleared by the back-tracking Croft, and a fantastic chance goes begging.

The game bogs down going into the end of the first period of extra time, with both sides performing like tired boxers at the end of a punishing fight. Like boxers, both sides were willing to do anything to avoid being knocked out. Halfway through the second period, with neither side making any real progress into the other's terriotory, the ball falls to Paul Ward on the wing. Ward, who's only played twenty minutes of the game and is still sprightly, runs at a startled Squornshelous defence. Paul is the fastest player to play for Audioslavia and it shows, as he absoloutely skins Salazar, cuts in behind Rivera who's scrambling back to cover the defenders. Ward aims a shot but is tripped by Fuertes. The referee points to the penalty spot.

Fuertes is furious at the referee and chases him down, earning the centre-back a yellow card. Arnaud holds him back, but Pavon is equally as furious and expressing his anger towards the referee is given his marching orders. The replay shows that the challenge was a good two feet outside of the area and should warrant nothing more than a free-kick and a possible booking. Bury comforts a distraught Pavon and they share a knowing glance. Belmore has a word with Fuertes and they both seem to be in agreeance about something, but O`Malley refuses to talk to anyone, knowing that he has a penalty to take.

The stadium goes silent, as Aaron O`Malley places the ball down on the penalty spot. He walks back, turns, trots up to the ball and strikes it low to the goalkeepers right. Allen guesses the right way but the ball flies underneath his torso. Audioslavia lead 5-4.

Squornshelous look disheartened, but a few wise words from the experienced Jackson and Knorr help to keep their minds on the job. With only five minutes left in the game, Squornshelous try to equalise.

Jackson goes for a long-range strike but his shot is saved by Pedder, Jackson again has a shot blocked by the defence, and Knorr sees a diving header spin harmlessly away from the goal. Running into injury time, Squornshelous plan their last attack, but a through-ball from Richards is cut out by Bury, and as he launches a ball up front to the two strikers, the final whistle blows.

Final Score at 'The Can' in Lemvoola: Audioslavia 5-4 Squornshelous

Audioslavia 4-3 Commerce Heights, World Cup 12 Semi-Final Excerpt from the WC12 RP thread: Audioslavia start the better side, dictating the pace of the game and refusing to show the ball to the CH side. Just as it appears that the 'slaves are just keeping possession of the ball for the sake of it, O`Malley plays Jensen through with a beautiful ball, his shot is well saved by Vojtilo, but Craig Belmore is on hand to pick up the pieces, and gain his first ever goal for Audioslavia in eight years.

Audioslavia stay on top of the game for most of the first half, coming close through an O`Malley header and a long range effort from Aiden Carsley which rattles the cross-bar. Audioslavia seem to be in such good form that Paul Ward is even playing well!

Commerce Heights cant seem to make an impact on the game, although Quigley comes close after taking on Branson and Reid in the 'slaves defence, only to be penalised for an alleged elbow to Reid's face, earning him a yellow card. The game pauses for a while whilst a few Bulldog players vent their anger at the referee.

The fracas zaps Commerce Height's concentration at a vital time, and Audioslavia capitalise by going up the field, passing round a frustrated CH defence and scoring through a cool O`Malley finish.

By half-time, Audioslavia are 2-0 up and cruising. Unfortunately, Commerce Heights make a tactical substitution, replacing the ineffective Darren Yee with one Alan Belmore. After half-time, CH began to take control of the game

Alan Belmore cancelled out the GODMODding powers of Audioslavia's own puny Craig Belmore, and the wheels of the "rand* # Gen" began turning the other way.

First Alan Belmore gained his side a penalty, as Alan Belmore tripped over the outstretched leg of Alan Belmore. The Audioslavians cried Foul, but seeing as 'Foul' is Gesamkuntswerkian for Spatchcock the referee was merely confused, and Alan Belmore despatched the penalty for 2-1

Ten minutes later Quigley was fouled on the edge of the box, and Belmore scored a magnificent free-kick, with the ball rebounding off each of the floodlights before bouncing into the goal. 2-2

The Bulldogs needed only two minutes to take the lead, as Alan Belmore was tackled on the edge of the box by Branson, but the ball ran out to Quigley who lobbed a stranded Matt Pedder to put the bulldogs into the lead.

Audioslavia however, knew what they had to do to stand any chance in the match. With 20 minutes left, James Reid ran into an unsuspecting Alan Belmore and broke both of his legs. The striker will probably be injured for a whole hour, as his godmodding skeelz allow him to regenerate like a motherf*cker.

Audioslavia pulled level in the 85th minute, Craig Belmore's replacement Wayne Bury played a through-ball to Aaron O`Malley, who's delicate chip brought the game into extra time.

The two sides battled hard throughout extra-time, with Sherwood coming close twice for CH, and Bury forcing a good save from Vojtilo. The deciding goal came on the stroke of half-time in extra-time, as Callum Jensen let fly from the edge of the box, Vojtilo blocked with his feet, and Aaron O`Malley arrived into the box to get his second hat-trick of the tournament.

Final Score (AET) Audioslavia 4-3 Commerce Heights

Politics

Audioslavian elections are held every six years. The minimum voting age is currently 18. Audioslavia's election system is based on that of the United States' electoral college system. Its main parties are:

The Emerald Party - Green

Currently in power, the Emerald Party is centre-left but occasionally swings to the right when it likes the look of a paticular cooperation. The party is very isolationist and maintains the country's strong military defence system but, paradoxically, is pacifist and is not known for causing problems abroad.

The Audioslavian Workers Party - Red

The AWP is basically a communist party. More aggressive than the Emeralds, the AWPs are distrusting of foreign governments and are traditionally paranoid. The AWP spends more on defense when in power and completely oppresses any businesses.

The Liberal Majority Party - Yellow

Political commentators make jibes about the Liberal party being a minority, seeing as they are rarely in power, but the LMP have cause to believe they are in a majority seeing as most Audioslavians are more left-wing than right. However, most voters sway to either of the above two parties.

The Tory Party - Blue

Though the tories are right wing, most of their voters are taken, suprisingly, by the AWP and the Emeralds. The AWP takes the extreme-right voters away thanks to their questionable policies, and the Emerald's xenophobia and pro-business-ish tendencies take the middle-class vote away.

The Audioslavian National Party - Navy Blue

Despite the name, the ANP are not an extreme-right party. They have held some long terms in government, but their centre-right policies have long since been rendered obsolete by the Emerald party.