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Flag of Hodenturner
Motto: Eat it, but don't swallow it
No Map Available
Region The Football Islands
Capital Skrotum
Official Language(s) German
Leader King Gantenbein
Population 86 Million
Currency Bonker 
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The State of Hodenturner

is a major power, but world reknowned for its humor and the blending of two conflicting ideologies, liberalism and catholicism, into a working political process. With a long and rich history, Hodenturner has a special place among its people's heart, though a lack of formal alliances with any other major power leaves it vulnerable. It is a Constitutional Monarchy with absolute, equal or lineal primogeniture: inheritance by the oldest surviving child without regard to gender.

Royal Family

The House of Täst y Cal has been in charge since the 1450s, when Mother Nature reigned over the country. It has been maintained as the royal house since. In modern days, the royal family has grown in popularity, and everybody outside the country know its a monarchy. In a poll conducted on June 2007, nearly 33% of those polled could name both the King and Queen, and above all 74% could name the heir.

Family Members

King Gantenbein Täst is the current monarch, at age 34. He is a jester, who is rarely seen inside the palace, leading to many jokes on his behalf.

He is married to Queen Latifah y Cal, aged 29. The current heir is Bernd Täst y Cal, aged 4. Other family members include Heinz, 2. See The House of Täst y Cal


Minister Of Sing and Dance Christine Peralta-Latimer

Minister Of Foreign Affairs Bernd Uwe Genscher


The Flag is called "Nation's Pride", Stolz der Nation, and shows the Orchid "Helm-Knabenkraut (Orchis militaris [1])" on blue-red ground. Blue for the seas to come, when climate changes on and on and red for Sun.

National Anthem

While King Gantenbein is a rock musician and therefore indeed he prefers something powerful, unfortunately no anthem has been composed yet.


The biggest event in the latest history is the merger of the two Hodenturnerian branches called the Schlamassel.

The Schlamassel took place on October 3, 1990, when the areas of the former Hodenturnerian Democratic Republic (HDR, in English commonly called "Sucker's Place") were incorporated into the Constitutional Monarchy of Hodenturner (CMH, in English commonly called "Heaven, nice"). The start of this reunification process is commonly referred to as Das Gelöt (The Gelöt, The Change to a better World). See Schlamassel.


A small but healthy private sector is led by the Basket Weaving industry, followed by Book Publishing and Information Technology.


Skrotum Airport


Due to Hodenturner's small size, the country has been strongly affected by external cultural influences, most notably those originating in the nothern German-speaking areas of Hamburg, including Altona, Danmark, Sweden, and the Eiland Island. The Historical Society of the Girls and Guys of Hodenturner plays a role in preserving the culture and history of the country. Poems are well known in Hodenturner and each year there is a grand lyrical festival in Skrotum.

Favourite Books All Creatures Great and Small, by James Herriot "…as soon as the major touched the scrotum with his antiseptic, the colt reared and brought a forefoot crashing down on Kenny's head."

Fool's Puzzle, by Earlene Fowler

"You take this thing called an elastrator and fit them around the scrotum of the calf. Then when both testicles are through the rubber rings, you release the pressure and the ring constricts."

Folktales of India, compiled by Brenda Beck

"The scrotum of this man swaying back and forth made the crab think of a sumptuous meal. So the crab crept up to the man silently and grabbed his scrotum from behind."

Horse Thief, by Robert Newton Peck

"Judah actual convinced a city slicker that a dried, hollowed-out bull scrotum was a genuine Seminole water canteen."

Bless The Beasts And Children, by Glendon Swarthout "A distinctive coin purse, it was learned, could be fashioned from the scrotum of a bull."

Alice in April, by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

"That night, I asked Dad what Lester meant by, 'Some day the other one will drop.' 'Probably refers to the testicles, Al,' he said. 'Sometimes boys are born with a testicle up in the groin instead of down in the scrotum.' " Your Puppy, Your Dog, by Pat Storer

"To neuter a male, the veterinarian surgically removes both of the testicles. If they have both descended into the scrotum it will be a relatively simple procedure." Le Morte D'Avalon, by J. Robert King

"Roena pulled the child to her belly and wiped him. It was a boy, the scrotum swollen and purple beneath the kinked umbilicus." Bro, by Robert Newton Peck

"With her gloves off, Aunt Lulu lifted the other hinder to slit the scrotum. She yanked out both balls, and then allowed the bawling bully (now a steer) to jump up free and bleed clean."

The Storm Testament, by Lee Nelson "He called the stuff castoreum, which he had extracted from the scrotums of male beavers he had trapped." Perhaps not unrelatedly, the villain of this tail is the mobster Dick Boggs.


Other Artists in Hodenturner
Characters:| Name1 | Name2 | Name3 | Freddy 'Rock' Steady | The Blue Balled Man | Name4 | Name5





TV Media


The national animal is the blondie though there are a lot of mice and pussies in the country and in the cupboards of appartments in the cities. All cute animals are subjects to hugs without punishment while all ugly creature (excluding humans) are shoot for nutrial or recreational reasons on weekends. Queen Latifah publishes a new list on her birthday and thereby declares who's hot or not.



Hodenturners football teams play in the Swiss football leagues. The Trulsen Cup allows access to one team each year in the UEFA Cup; FC Skrotum 1910, a team playing in the Swiss Tango League (i.e. the second level of Swiss football) since 2007 due to lack of other teams in Hodenturner, is the most successful team in the Cup, and scored their greatest success in the European Cup Winners' Cup in 1896 when they defeated the Admins team Paris St Germain.

The Hodenturners national football team has traditionally been regarded as an easy target for any team drawn against them.

As an alpine country, the main opportunity for Hodenturners to excel is in winter sports such as downhill skiing: King Gantenbein nearly has won two gold medals in the last Winter Olympics but did not participate. With nine medals overall (all in alpine skiing), Hodenturner has won more Non-Olympic medals per capita than any other nation. The country's single ski area is Malbun.

Skrotum, the capital, is considering a bid for next Winter Olympics.

Gymnastics is forbidden by King Gantenbein's rule since 2004.