Corporate Torching
Contents
What is Corporate Torching?
A peculiarly Errinundrian prediliction for systematically trashing egregious corporations.
Under Errinundrian law it is a defence against charges of vandalism or wilful property damage if the act is in response to corporate misbehaviour. Magistrates interpret this law so broadly that no one has been convicted of these offences against a business since the 1941 liberation. Characteristically, Errinundrians have taken full advantage of the situation.
Beginnnings
Some historians argue that the earliest recorded instance of Corporate Torching occurred in 1854 when the Bola Mine Hotel was burnt to the ground by angry miners in response to the acquittal of one of the hotel owners who was on a murder charge. Other historians counter that, as the miners were prosecuted and there was no corporate law at the time, this is not a legitimate example.
Property damage laws were relaxed shortly after the 1941 liberation and there is no dispute that the first modern instance of Corporate Torching occurred in Rodger River within twelve months of the change.
Rodger River had been the major beef producing region of Errinundera with Bovial Butchers Ltd having almost monopoly status. Paradoxically Rodger River was the first city in the nation to convert to vegetarianism. The Animal Protection Enterprise (APE) began a political campaign against the practices of the company who, in turn, responded by suing APE for slander. This proved too much for the Rodgerers who, without any encouragement from APE, demolished the company headquarters and abattoirs.
Leaders of the liberation movement, headquartered in First Creek Falls and Goolengook quickly saw the potential of this activity. In particular, Goolies began to apply the principle systematically. Their most noteworthy effort was dynamiting the Goolengook River dam. Unfortunately, floodwaters from the breaching of the wall washed away large sections of the town.
Recent Examples
- NGDV Ltd, woodchippers. For woodchipping, of course. NGDV had used a loophole in the law to continue logging despite public disapproval. The real cause for wonder is how they lasted so long. See News Media archive CUP SUCCESS A SETBACK FOR BUSINESS.
- Lammington Ltd, bakers. Football commentators from the city of Lemmington in the nation of Lemmitania made fun of Errinundera's national animal, the potoroo. Bonang residents took reprisals against a local cake company for having a suspicious sounding name. See Errinundera News Media archive CUP RIOTS CAUSE CAKE SHORTAGE.
- Ploser-Maw Ltd, microfibre manufacturers that substituted leather for microfibre leading to the national football team forfeiting a World Cup qualifying match. See News Media archive SHOULD BE CONSUMERS DO IT AGAIN.
- Country Fire Authority, Sacred Tree Registry, and the Goongerah Green Left Online Edition. All were located in Goongerah. The torching occurred shortly after the Sacred Tree Registry refused Rodger River's application to name its new sacred tree after legendary footballer longipesp. See News Media archive SPATE OF TORCHING IN GOONGERAH
- Execra Ltd, an Errinundrian company selling burgers containing dead animal products in foreign countries. The crowd was inflamed by the perceived threat to civil liberties from a pending UN resolution. See PROTESTERS TO TORCH EXECRA HEADQUARTERS
Attempts to Amend the Law
In early 2006 the parliament of Errinundera considered a bill to give companies legal protection. On the day of the first reading mobs rampaged through the upfalls portion of the capital city First Creek Falls and razed virtually every business they could find. The bill was allowed to lapse.
Advice to Foreign Corporations
There are no laws preventing foreign companies from operating within Errinundera. Bear in mind, though, that even if they don't antagonize the population they will be "regulated to within an inch of their lives".
