Longipesp
- The title given to this article is incorrect due to technical limitations. The correct title is longipesp.
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Amazingly acrobatic striker who won the hearts of Errinundrians and football fans from around the world with her positive and joyful approach to the game. The tiny, lithe longipesp, nicknamed potoroo, had the knack of popping up unexpectedly to do something breathtaking, much to everybody’s delight. Most famously, however, she scored the winning goal in the penalty shoot-out in the final of World Cup 7.
Contents
World Cups
- Stats include qualifying matches
- leighm medal is voted upon by the Errinundrian coaching staff for the Player of the Series
- Goals scored in penalty shoot-outs not included in stats
Mainly selected as a substitute striker and had a tendency to go missing for periods on the field.
- 2 goals (Altamira, Vegimite) - Some argue that longipesp's goal against Altamira was the goal of the qualifiers. After a solo run into the penatly zone she was charged by the goalie. Somehow she managed to simultaneously leap over the lunging keeper and dribble the ball past him. Upon landing she performed a very neat roll and then kicked the most delicate of goals.
- 1 leighm vote
- Errinundera qualified but didn't progress beyong the group stages.
Sensational through the qualifiers but faded away at the tournament.
- 9 goals (Hegemonia Polska, LordSquall, Total n Utter Insanity, Timway, Mezitzia, Timway (2 goals), Bedistan, Svecia) - Best afield in the second Timway match where she scored two scintillating goals in the first 15 minutes to demoralize the Timwayans. In typical modest fashion she attributed the goals to the defence's pre-occupation with antarcticad.
- 7 leighm votes
- Errinundera lost in the play-off for 3rd place in a penalty shoot out.
After a quiet qualifying, longipesp blossomed in the tournament. She scored 6 tournament goals (best for Errinundera) and received 7 leighm votes (equal highest for the tournament). And, of course, she kicked the penalty shoot-out goal that mattered against Spaam in the final.
- 9 goals (Sliponia, LordSquall, LordSquall, Haraki, Lunatic Golfballs (2 goals), Audioslavia, Runaway Moose, Bedistan - Best afield in the group match against Lunatic Golfballs. She scored 2 goals in the first fifteen minutes then spearing passes to joyhilla and antarcticad in the second half resulted in 2 more.
- 12 leighm votes (equal 2nd)
- Errinundera wins the World Cup.
- Selected in the All Cup Squad along with co-forward joyhilla and coach fionar.
Selected as captain. At 31 she remained as mobile as ever and was consistently brilliant. longipesp tore her cruciate ligament in the losing 2nd round match against Runaway Moose and announced her retirement from international competition.
- 7 goals (Endray-Island (2 goals), Pavesia, Runaway Moose, Mezitzia, Runaway Moose, Squornshelous).
- 9 leighm votes behind codith on 19.
- Errinundera qualified, progressed through the group stages, but lost in the 2nd round.
Her Name
longipesp's name is typical of Errinundera's quaint use of capital letter technology. It is from the nation's national animal, the long-footed potoroo - Potorous longipes. Hence also her nickname. It is especially apt as her quick, darting movements puctuated by moments of stillness are features of the marsupial.
The Problem with Quohog
The Errinundera team visited Quohog for a qualifying match for World Cup 6. On arrival customs officials examined the team's luggage thoroughly. They seemed disappointed until they found the book longipesp was then reading, "The New Reader in 19th and 20th Century Spanish Anarchism." A man in a heavy coat and dark glasses told her that she should consider herself very fortunate that she was a famous soccer star and a foreign national. The book and the team's visit achieved minor notoriety after that, with Errinundera described by the press of the capitalist Quohog as a rogue state and part of an axis of evil.
Relations between the two nations deteriorated further with the death in suspicious circumstances of the Quohog defector, mccarthyismo, who fell out of a tree in First Creek Falls and, ironically, crushed a long-footed potoroo. Things got even worse when the Errinundera/Quohog joint venture company, Ploser-Maw Ltd, orchestrated the leather substitution scandal.
Career off the Field
- Elected mayor of Rodger River after retirement from football.
- Re-elected mayor a record 15 times
- Lived alone with her pet tiger quolls until the end of her days, breeding leeches for a hobby.
From the Archives
Read an interview with longipesp during World Cup 6 from the Errinundera News Media archives, "POTOROO" COMES OF AGE.
