Jack Riley

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Jack Riley
00016.jpg
Nation Omigodtheykilledkenny
Title Ambassador to The Eternal Kawaii
Birthdate February 12, 1968
Place of birth San Andreas, Xt'Kalifia
Previous occupations
Political affiliation God-Fearing, Freedom-loving Conservative Patriot Party; hardline anti-UN sovereigntist
Languages English
Education B.A., communications, Paradise City University
Author of

Jack Riley is the former ambassador to the United Nations for the Federal Republic of Omigodtheykilledkenny. An undiplomatic smart-alec with unrelenting contempt for the UN, Riley was an odd choice for the job: Prior to his 2005 appointment, he had suggested, only half-kiddingly, that the UN headquarters be demolished and that the international body move to "more cost-effective digs in the basement of a Paradise City crackhouse. We wouldn't even charge rent." Riley was dismissed from his post after catnapping an Ardchoillean diplomat in July 2006 [1]; he now serves as ambassador to sometime OMGTKK enemy The Eternal Kawaii. [2]

UN Ambassador

In his capacity as the Federal Republic's chief diplomat at the UN, Riley firmly established himself among the staunchest supporters of national sovereignty, and authored two defeated repeals of UN environmental legislation and a successful repeal the obselete Gay Rights resolution. In addition, he opposed just about every other resolution that made its way to the General Assembly floor, sparred with the Ecopoeian deputy ambassador over human-rights legislation, was accused of conspiring to deceive the public into supporting a repeal of the Protection of Dolphins Act, and became the frequent target of the dolphin mafia. [3] Following the Federal Republic's withdrawal from the United Nations, Riley became notorious for delivering insane, paranoid rants during floor debates, some of which were partly relevant to the topic at hand. [4]

Prior to his foray into diplomacy, Riley was a TV sports commentator, during which time he befriended future President Manuelo Fernanda, then a pro-boxer and a contestant on Sylvester Stallone's reality show "The Contender." A graduate of Paradise City University with a degree in communications, Riley also served as a bombastic right-wing commentator for Fox News. His appointment by Fernanda to serve as UN ambassador enraged Omigodtheykilledkenny liberals who accused the administration of "trying to sabotage the UN." The Senate minority filibustered his nomination, forcing the president to grant him a recess appointment.

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