Susa Batko-Yovino

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Susa Batko-Yovino
amir_khan.jpg
Nation Omigodtheykilledkenny / Karmicaria
Titles Secretary of the Treasury, King of Karmicaria
Birth March 4, 1980
Calabasas, Xt'Kalifia
Death February 7, 2007
Karma City
Previous occupation Professional boxer
Political affiliation God-fearing, Freedom-loving Conservative Patriot Party
Languages English, Spanish
Education High-school diploma

Susa Batko-Yovino (March 4, 1980 – February 7, 2007) was the king of Karmicaria and nominal secretary of the treasury for the Federal Republic of Omigodtheykilledkenny. A buddy of President Manuelo Fernanda's from their pro-boxing days, Batko-Yovino was originally not known for much else than being the Assembly speaker's little brother whose appointment as secretary had been criticized as "a testament to the cronyism and corruption of the Federal Republic's political establishment." The first Xt'Tapolopaquetl native to serve as a cabinet secretary, however, would later rise to new heights of national and regional notoriety when he also became the first Kennyite citizen to claim a royal title from another country.

Susa gets hitched

Batko-Yovino's appointment at treasury was largely forgotten until the queen of Karmicaria announced she needed a man, and needed one bad, wherein President Manuelo Fernanda and Secretary of State Alex Tehrani hatched a scheme to exploit the secretary's fondness for swindling rich women, and to distract the press from a Batko-Yovino scandal involving a Thessadorian princess, by entering him as a candidate. [1] While participating in the suitor contest in Karma City, Batko-Yovino did little more than threaten the queendom [2], engage in petty theft [3], and make obscene overtures at Her Queenliness [4], but in the end a (possibly desperate) Queen Adrienne chose Batko-Yovino [5], some saying because of Cmdr. Jenny Chiang's assurances that Xt'Tapolopaquetl men are "hung like horses" [6], others saying that the queen's father forced her into it. Nonetheless, Queen Adrienne and soon-to-be King Susa were betrothed to wed.

Batko-Yovino did try to get out of the ceremony at the last minute, as only an Xt'Tapolopaquetl can do, but was thwarted by the quick-thinking Chiang [7], and the odd alliance between the Federal Republic and Karmicaria was thus cemented through holy matrimony.

Reign and Death

It turned out Batko-Yovino's term as king wouldn't be very stressful -- his only listed tasks were gambling away a substantial portion of the royal fortune, occasionally getting freaky with Her Queenliness, knocking her up, then awaiting the impending divorce -- but there were a few snags here and there. Friction began to develop between the king's and queen's offices when Adrienne, having discovered the virility of her new husband's royal swimmers [8], temporarily stepped aside from the day-to-day running of her nation in order to cope with her pregnancy, leading the king to protest that he had not been chosen to manage the queendom's affairs in her stead. [9]

Then, in a rather bizarre twist to the storyline, Adrienne suddenly took very ill and had to abort her child as she made ready to abdicate. [10] It soon became clear the queen would not survive, and as she lay unconscious in her hospital bed, Batko-Yovino, who had since been installed as a sort of figurehead president of Karmicaria [11], made a last-ditch attempt to assure his wife's salvation. [12]

Additional Material

fernandasmall3.jpg Officials of the Fernanda Administration
Manuelo Fernanda | Antigone Morgan | Alex Tehrani | Jack Riley | Jimmy Baca | Charlie Valentine | Karen Greene | Susa Batko-Yovino | Jenny Chiang