President of the Federal Republic

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The first president of the Federal Republic was national founder and hero Thor, who actually wanted to be dictator but was thwarted by his own stupidity.

President of the Federal Republic is the title given to those elected Chief Executive of Omigodtheykilledkenny, serving both as the nation's chief of state and head of government. While the presidency is revered as a very powerful institution in the Federal Republic (mostly because the first president wanted to be a dictator but was fooled into establishing democracy), the Constitution places a number of limitations on the president's power. Presidential powers have historically been a point of contention between the executive and legislative branches of government, but according to the founding document, the president retains broad authority as Commander in Chief of the Federal Republic Armed Forces; originator of most federal appointments, including cabinet officers, ambassadors and federal judges; granter of reprieves and pardons; negotiator of international treaties, and (thanks to Manuelo Fernanda) "Grand Pimp Daddy." [1]

Vice President of the Federal Republic

Serving under the president (eliciting giggles all across the nation since the first woman was elected to this office) is the vice president of the Federal Republic, who by contrast to his or her immediate superior is basically powerless. As stipulated in the Constitution, the vice president's primary duties are "sitting around and waiting for the president to die or take sick, and possibly attending state funerals from time to time." He or she is also the president of the Federal Senate, but the legislative body has limited the duties of its presiding officer mainly to "insulting senators' fashion sense, banging her gavel, and fielding obscene suggestions from male senators asking if she'd like to be banged by their gavels." [2] The most prominent person to hold the office is by far its current occupant, Antigone Morgan, but that's mostly due to her celebrity, and killer rack. Within the Fernanda Administration, Morgan remains out of the loop, though her tabloid scandals and paparazzi photographs have become something of an international sensation, at least in the Antarctic Oasis region.

Order of Presidential Succession

In the even of the death, resignation or flight of the president to join the circus, the vice president assumes the presidency and may then appoint a replacement as vice president. Congress has established in legislation that the secretary of state is to be made Chief Executive upon the loss of both the president and vice president. In the event of the Trifecta, however, they are totally fucked. Unless they've secretly impaneled a shadow government in the bowels of some mountain cave or something.

Another law allows the vice president to assume executive powers if the president becomes incapacitated.

Election of the President and Vice President

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John Thorne was elected president in 2000. Voters awoke five years later to learn that he had served an entire term and promptly voted him out.

Under to the Constitution, the process for electing the top two officers in the nation is mostly ripped from that of the RL United States, though there are some differences. For one, the president and vice president are elected separately, so it is possible for the two executive officers to be from opposing parties, as in the case of Conservative President Fernanda, whose vice president is a political independent. Also, most candidates need either a buttload of personal cash, or a number of corporate sponsors to even hope to run competitively on the national stage. Electors are chosen every five years by popular election in the individual states, each of which is entitled to appoint a number of electors equal to that of its congressional delegation. Actually, two sets of electors are chosen in each state, one to elect the president and other to elect the vice president, and whichever candidate can bribe the most electors wins. Oftentimes, presidential candidates will endorse their preferred candidate for vice president (usually from the same political party), and vice versa. In the last election, Fernanda and Morgan endorsed each other.

Traditionally presidents have limited themselves to two five-year terms in office.

Criticism of the Electoral College

Numerous attempts to modify or even abolish the Electoral College and replace it with a straight popular vote have not been successful, though the college has been widely criticized as archaic and undemocratic. Many of those elected president or vice president did not receive a majority of the nationwide vote, or in some cases lost the popular election. However, supporters of the college maintain that the institution preserves federalism and assures that those elected to the top office are truly national leaders, and not merely bosses or puppets of sectarian political groups. And besides, Kennyites are just too fucking drunk and lazy to do anything to change the system, so it remains.

Presidential perks and privileges

The president is entitled to an annual salary of TRFD$65,000, residential quarters and round-the-clock personal staff in the executive plaza at 10 Frowning Street in Paradise City (right across the street from the Capitol building), and unlimited travel on the quite originally named presidential 747 "Air Force One", Marine Corps helicopters, and armored presidential limousines for ground travel. The Secret Service provides constant protection for both sitting and former presidents and their family members. And as ever, the prez gets first dibs on the hottest Cluichstani and Karmicarian whores.

History of the Presidency

While the Constitution enumerates presidential powers, the prestige, authority and respectability of the institution has been shaped by the men (no women, yet) who have held the office, notable among them: Thor, the first president, who liked to pretend he was an autocratic ruler, ignored Congress and didn't understand why none of his "decrees" were ever put into force; Doug Frowning, the second president, who tore down all the statues and monuments Thor erected to himself, and built up a certain level of dignity and respect for the presidency; Manuelo Fernanda, who sullied it all in his first year in office; Eli Jackson, who wisely utilized emergency powers to put down a serious communist anti-government revolt that threatened to tear the republic apart; and the innately useless John Thorne, who ably demonstrated to a relieved nation that it didn't really need a president after all.

The power that the presidency enjoys today has also been established in various duels the executive branch has had with the Federal Congress, who feared that unrestrained executive powers would minimize the essential role of the legislature and damage the country's proud democratic tradition.

Bitchfights with Congress

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Stealing a page from the Book of Yelda, members of Congress defenestrate their colleagues during a battle over presidential-powers legislation in 1864 (apparently during a Rennaissance revival).

It all started with President Thor's unilateral declaration of war on the Funkadelic Islands in 1793. While the Thor Administration maintained that the president's authority as Commander in Chief entrusted him with responsibility for the deployment of the armed forces, congressional leaders reminded him that it was their duty to declare war on foreign powers. The battle ended up in the Supreme Court, which ruled that even though declaring war was the province of the legislature, consent of Congress was not necessarily required when deploying the military. Even so, the battle resumed when Thor later presented Congress with a peace treaty that administration opponents deemed insulting the Kennyite national pride. The Supreme Court once again stepped in and declared that the president retained full authority to negotiate peace, though the results of peace accords were subject to the whim of the Senate, which eventually confirmed the agreement.

The fit hit the shan again in 1824 when congressional leaders accused President Thomas Baker of abusing his power and attempting to usurp Congress among other improprieties, and demanded that the president's office hand over internal documents for their investigation into possible impeachable offenses. The high court, summoned this time at three in the morning, angrily declared that the advice the president receives from advisors was subject to executive privilege and that executive documents could not be subpoenaed in that case. Baker did eventually turn over some documents to Congress, which promptly impeached him. The Senate voted 16-9 for acquittal, however, some historians contending that the result saved the executive branch from becoming a congressional puppet.

Supreme Court justices became incensed when Congress came to them to resolve a dispute over President Jackson's invocation of emergency powers to suppress the 1853 rebellion of communist agitator Borracho Villa and his followers. They ruled essentially, fine, emergency powers must be approved by Congress; there, ya happy now? And would it be OK if you stopped waking us up in the middle of the night? When congressmen roused them again in 1864 to complain that President Theodore Stanton wouldn't let them sign an office birthday card for the vice president, the Supreme Court ordered all members of Congress shot. Sadly, the ruling was never enforced, though an ensuing Federal Assembly debate over presidential powers did result in the defenestration of no less than 18 Assemblymen and one irate billygoat, all of whom survived unharmed. Congressional leaders concluded that future defenestrations might be more effective if they were carried out from windows higher than the first floor (and if at all possible, stop slipping "hahaha!! stupid Kennyites!" jokes into every wiki entry). The bill was defeated, by the way, meaning the president's power to plan office parties and sleep with Congress members' wives would be preserved.

Presidential war powers came under attack yet again in 1972 when at the height of the Long and Pointless War Congress passed, over executive veto, the Fuck You President Gray Act, ordering the president to attain approval from Congress to extend major troop deployments beyond 90 days, or risk being pantsed on national TV. Being a good Kennyite, Frank Gray went to complain to the Supreme Court, which issued an historic three-word ruling: "WEEEE DOOOOOOON'T CAAAAAARE!!!!!!"

The Modern-day Presidency

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Under Manuelo Fernanda, the presidency became a virtual wholly owned subsidiary of CPESL.

With the advent of television and other forms of mass media the president has become the most visible leader of the Federal Republic, with unprecedented ability to sway public opinion -- though mass media also acts as a natural buffer against abuses of power, and as such the executive is largely deferential to Congress. After having their asses handed to them multiple times, the legislature has developed a great deal of respect for the nation's Chief Executive and approves most administration requests, relegating most political disagreements with the president to major legislation and a select number of federal appointees. Congress did move to impeach President Fernanda in 2006, but most talking heads agree now that he really, really deserved it, and besides, he got out of it through lining up a series of corporate bribes, sleeping with Congress members' wives (his right to do so, remember, was established back in 1864) and getting them to convince their husbands to vote against impeachment, invading Chechnya, lying to Congress, and, of course, threatening to sick Iron Felix on them with his Defenestratinator.

List of Noteworthy Presidents