Fanny Moo

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Fanny Moo

Yes, that's a leech on the city flag. See below: Of Sports and Other Competitions - Bloodsucking.

Nation: Errinundera
Province: Plateau
District: Ootopia
Function: Archetype
Population: Piss-takers
Leaders: Mayor - globin

Magistrate - hiroodinea

Fanny Moo is an archetypical tree town on the central Plateau of Errinundera. It is worth dedicating some time and space to its description as much of what follows can readily be extrapolated to other tree towns of the nation.


Firstly, where is Fanny Moo?

It is in the northwestern part of the great central Plateau in an area known as Ootopia. The looming bulk of Mt Ellery can be seen on the southern horizon. Unlike the southern escarpment with its spectacular drops and waterfalls, the northern plateau descends gently to the northern plains. Fanny Moo is situated in the Ootopia Forest district near the headwaters of the mighty Delegate River that flows north, through the plains and across the northern border. Here, though, the Delegate is a clear, sparkling stream. There is a ridge a few kilometres to the south. On the other side the streams feed into the Brodribb River which descends through gorges to the south. Fannies like to think that the ridge is the heart of Errinundera. But then, every village has a similar fantasy.

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19th century photograph of Fannies beside the sacred tree CUNNUSVACCAE.

Of Sacred Trees and Capital Letter Technology

The centre of life for a Plateau village is the sacred tree. In Fanny Moo it is a gigantic Shining Gum named CUNNUSVACCAE. It may have been noted by readers that the names of trees have embraced capital letter technology whereas the names of people have not. This ties in with Errinundrian philosophy concerning the insignificance of the individual compared with the forest and the earth. People may also wonder about the extreme profanity of the Latin name. (I dare not translate it here, although the village name is a rough translation.) Well I guess it might be said that whilst Errinundrians have beliefs, they don’t take them too seriously. Trees are important but it doesn’t mean you can’t take the piss out of them. Births, deaths, weddings, anything really, are celebrated under the massive arching branches of the sacred tree.


Any excuse will do. Nudity and drugs are the done thing. Oddly enough drunkeness is uncommon.

Most anticipated are the solstice and equinox parties, major competition days and the national holidays. On designated party days nothing will stop Errinundrians from making complete dicks of themselves. See Errinundera News Media archive SPRING EQUINOX TRAGEDY.

Of Housetrees and Skywalks

Like so many other Errinundrians the Fannies live in housetrees. Supported by branches the houses are spartan but comfortable. It is beguiling and comforting to be in the homes as they move gently in the breeze. You are always welcome to hop up into someone's house for conversation or a meal.


Skywalks link the trees. They can even extend to adjoining villages. Right in the heart of Fanny Moo they circle giant viewing screens where broadcasts of major events can be viewed in a community atmosphere.

Concerning Vegetarianism

Errinundrians, as atheists, believe that humans have no privileged status over animals. Accordingly they are strictly vegetarian. Don't let that bother you. Fannies will happily provide you with a nourishing vegetarian meal such as sorrel soup, pumpkin pasta or vegetable poriyal.

Similarly leather is banned but, as any Fanny will tell you, you don't need leather for a fun sex life. Especially on the branch of a tree.


Of Mayors and Magistrates

After footballers, the most prominent people in tree villages are the Mayors and Magistrates. Fanny Moo has one of each. The Mayor, elected annually, presides over ceremonial occasions and represents the village in the lower house of the parliament in the capital, First Creek Falls. The Magistrate, on a contract of employment with the villagers, administers and interprets local law, resolves disputes and represents the village in the upper house of parliament. Proxies can represent the Mayor and Magistrate in parliament.

For examples of administering justice in Fanny Moo see Errinundera News Media archives SANDRAB BANISHED FROM FANNY MOO and CAR SMUGGLED INTO TREE.

Concerning Transportation

Errinundera has extensive rail and monorail networks. Fanny Moo is on the main line that connects the three large cities McKillops Bridge, Bonang and First Creek Falls so is well served. See Errinundera News Media archive RARE ORCHID THROWS RAIL TRAVELLERS FOR A LOOP.

Cars have been banned throughout the nation. There are walking tracks between villages and towns but these are often impassably muddy. See Errinundera News Media archive CAR SMUGGLED INTO TREE.

Of Sports and Other Competitions


At the height of the mushroom season the annual Golden Top Award is awarded to the finder or grower of the largest hallucinogenic mushroom. Kudos is the principle motivator for this award as the only prize is a supply of headache tablets. See Errinundera News Media archive HEADACHE AHEAD FOR CHAMP.


Famous throughout the nation is the annual bloodsucking contest. Contestants breed their own leeches and on the big day attach the creatures to their bodies. After the allotted time the possessor of the biggest leech is proclaimed the champion. See Errinundera News Media archives:


When filthyl brought football to the nation just twelve years ago, the fiercely proud Fannies answered the call. They saw it as their chance to put themselves on the map. It was a dream taken up by many villages so that, in its first few years, the EFA was viewed as a rustic organisation made up of many disputing, parochial clubs. Two factors worked against this. Firstly, the two most important cities of the nation, the capital First Creek Falls and the financial and intellectual hub McKillops Bridge, alone of all the great cities, took up the game in its formative years with enthusiasm. The early success of First Creek Falls, in particular, encouraged the other great cities to take part, squeezing out the resource poor villages. Secondly, the immediate and unexpected success of the longfoots in World Cup 5 electrified the nation, making football a universal passion.

Some village teams have prospered. Ellery Camp has thrived by the canny decision to create the National Football Academy and to forge football links with other nations such as Ariddia and Tanah Burung. Of course the sexy antarcticad and oreadest didn’t harm the team’s aura. To this day, if you don’t have a local team in the competition then you probably barrack for Ellery Camp. Some village teams, like Fanny Moo prospered because they had the good fortune to be home to a star player. For the Fannies it was sandrab, the feisty defender who won the inaugural leighm medal for best longfoot player in World Cup 5. But that was many years ago. Inevitably the village conceded that it could not support a side in the Errinundera Football Association on its own so it merged with Cobb Hill and Lilly Pilly Creek to form Ootopia.


Fannies have embraced the e-world and their local News Media are totally electronic. The archive articles linked to this article are mostly from The Fanny Moo Examiner On-Line.



Like many plateau villages, Fanny Moo is in slow but inexorable decline. Not much of a living can be scraped out of the forest. The main employer is the local shoe factory that, for a time, provided microfibre footwear to the world. The factory has fallen on hard times although new owners and new managers are beginning to revive its fortunes. Young people know they are abandoning paradise but the big cities are calling, calling, calling.

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Practicing in the treetops.