Biggles McXiminez

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Biggles McXiminez
Captain Biggles McXiminez
Nationality Gruenberger
Current position Head of Observer Mission
Occupation Pirate
Rank Captain (obviously)
Famous sayings "Yarrr." This accounts for 95% of his vocal output, so pinning it down to one instance would be redundant.
Places he has vomited Four ambassadors' chairs, eighty-one plant pots throughout the UN building, and all seven seas.
Interests Darts, fishing, the Thessadorian Ambassador's chest, vomiting.
Captain Biggles Horace Wolfgang Amadeus Oyez Oyez Nih! Chechnya Wabbit Ding-Dong Sparkly McXiminez is a Gruenberger pirate and, in the loosest sense of the word, diplomat. McXiminez is the only remaining member of Gruenberg's delegation to the United Nations, although his insistence on staying at the UN Building has considerably more to do with observing cleavage than observing diplomatic proceedings.

Early life

Little is known of McXiminez's early life. He is believed to have been born in 1916, making him 90 - whilst he certainly looks it, this is clearly a lie. He was the fourth of nine children born to a Merlefurt tavern waitress, Gurty McXiminez, and received no formal education. At the age of 12, he joined the Gruenberger High Sultanic Navy; he was expelled 44.8 seconds later for drunkenness. He moved to the Gruenberger Merchant Navy, before being taken in by the famed privateer Frankel Sabian. McXiminez has never married, but has sired numerous children, all called "Biggles", so he will remember their names. He still forgets.

Personal views

Given his experiences abroad, McXiminez's political views are considerably more cosmopolitan than many Gruenbergers, although he has found annoying liberals to be fun, no matter where he is or what he's vomiting into. He supported the Abortion Legality Convention on grounds of national sovereignty, despite being personally pro-choice, and mainly used his address on the proposal to try to get some action. He has also supported trade measures, such as the Maritime Safety Standards Act and even the Economic Development Act.


McXiminez is one of Gruenberg's most successful privateers, but has little to show for it, as most of his earnings have been gambled or drunk away, with at least 30% of it being tucked into assorted undergarments. He has held various positions within the Commercial Privateer Union, of which he is a Life Vice-President, and commanded the Special Action Fleet for a number of years. Whilst aiding in a mission to disrupt arms smuggling lines into the Gelzien Nub, he met Moltan Bausch, then a military officer on his second tour of duty. The two remained friends, and when Nuck Chorris stepped down as Deputy Ambassador to the UN, Bausch had McXiminez appointed as his replacement, with an eye to repealing The Law of the Sea.

The United Nations

In his time as Deputy Ambassador, McXiminez has rarely addressed the General Assembly - his only notable speech was in support of the Child Pornography Prohibition, but he has also consistently opposed attempts to prohibit piracy and privateering. Most of his time has been spent in the Strangers' Bar, oggling the Thessadorian ambassador, vomiting, and thinking up long and impressive titles for himself. These have included:

  • Minister for Vomiting
  • Deputy Secretary of State for Penis Jokes/Chief Minister of Penis Innuendos
  • Captain of the "Wonky Badgers" bar darts team
  • Ogler-General of Buxom Wenches/Chief Inspector of Buxom Wenches
  • Undersecretary of Being Really, Really Drunk
  • Commander-in-Chief of No, Quite Staggeringly Drunk, I'm Really Not Sure You Comprehend Just How Drunk We're Talking Here
  • Minister of Superfluous Titles

Additional materials

Preceded by:
Rono Pyandran
Head of the Gruenberger Office of UN Affairs
Jan. 01, 2007 -
Succeeded by:
Preceded by:
First in post
Observing Ambassador to the United Nations
Jan. 01, 2007 -
Succeeded by:
Preceded by:
Nuck Chorris
Deputy Ambassador to the United Nations
Jan. 16, 2006 - May 22, 2006
Succeeded by:
Rittel Wenkein
Preceded by:
First in post
Deputy Deputy Ambassador to the United Nations
Jul. 15, 2006 - Dec. 30, 2006
Succeeded by:
Last in post

Gruenberg and the United Nations
Main topic
Resolutions: Repeal "UCPL"Repeal "Right to Divorce"Repeal "The Law of the Sea"Abortion Legality ConventionUN Demining SurveyRepeal "Banning the Use of Landmines"UN Recycling CommissionChild Pornography ProhibitionUN Educational Aid ActIndividual Working FreedomsClothing Supply PactFair Sentencing ActRepeal "Hearing Impaired Aid Act"
Staff: Biggles McXiminez
Former staff: Jianna WoltztenZlott WoltztenRittel WenkeinMoltan BauschNuck ChorrisRono PyandranLurs LenntoPendle KorbitzKirby DugganIffne HevanLori Jiffjeff