Biggles McXiminez
Nationality | Gruenberger |
Current position | Deputy Deputy Ambassador to the United Nations |
Occupation | Pirate |
Rank | Captain (obviously) |
Famous sayings | "Yarrr." This accounts for 95% of his vocal output, so pinning it down to one instance would be redundant. |
Places he has vomited | Four ambassadors' chairs, eighty-one plant pots throughout the UN building, and all seven seas. |
Interests | Darts, fishing, the Thessadorian Ambassador's chest, vomiting. |
Early life
Little is known of McXiminez's early life. He is believed to have been born in 1916, making him 90 - whilst he certainly looks it, this is clearly a lie. He was the fourth of nine children born to a Merlefurt tavern waitress, Gurty McXiminez, and received no formal education. At the age of 12, he joined the Gruenberger High Sultanic Navy; he was expelled 44.8 seconds later for drunkenness. He moved to the Gruenberger Merchant Navy, before being taken in by the famed privateer Frankel Sabian. McXiminez has never married, but has sired numerous children, all called "Biggles", so he will remember their names. He still forgets.
Personal views
Given his experiences abroad, McXiminez's political views are considerably more cosmopolitan than many Gruenbergers, although he has found annoying liberals to be fun, no matter where he is or what he's vomiting into. He supported the Abortion Legality Convention on grounds of national sovereignty, despite being personally pro-choice, and mainly used his address on the proposal to try to get some action.1 He has also supported trade measures, such as the Maritime Safety Standards Act2 and the Economic Development Act3.
Career
McXiminez is one of Gruenberg's most successful privateers, but has little to show for it, as most of his earnings have been gambled or drunk away, with at least 30% of it being tucked into assorted items of clothing. He has held assorted positions within the Commercial Privateer Union, of which he is a Life Vice-President, and commanded the Special Action Fleet for a number of years. Whilst aiding in a mission to disrupt arms smuggling lines into the Gelzien Nub, he met Moltan Bausch, then a military officer on his second tour of duty. The two remained friends, and when Nuck Chorris stepped down as Deputy Ambassador to the UN, Bausch had McXiminez appointed as his replacement, with an eye to repealing The Law of the Sea.
The United Nations
In his time as Deputy Ambassador, McXiminez has rarely addressed the General Assembly - his only notable speech was in support of the Child Pornography Prohibition.4 He has consistently opposed attempts to prohibit piracy and privateering.5 He has spent quite considerably the majority of his time in the Strangers' Bar, ogling the Thessadorian ambassador, vomiting, and thinking up long and impressive titles for himself. These have included:
- Minister for Vomiting
- Deputy Secretary of State for Penis Jokes/Chief Minister of Penis Innuendos
- Captain of the "Wonky Badgers" bar darts team
- Ogler-General of Buxom Wenches/Chief Inspector of Buxom Wenches
- Undersecretary of Being Really, Really Drunk
- Commander-in-Chief of No, Quite Staggeringly Drunk, I'm Really Not Sure You Comprehend Just How Drunk We're Talking Here
- Minister of Superfluous Titles
Notes
- Abortion Legality Convention - Now with 50% more Tom Waits!
- Maritime Safety Standards Act
- Economic Development Act
- Child Pornography Prohibition
- Suppression of Piracy
Additional materials
Preceded by: Nuck Chorris |
Deputy Ambassador to the United Nations Jan. 16, 2006 - May 22, 2006 |
Succeeded by: Rittel Wenkein |
Preceded by: First in office |
Deputy Deputy Ambassador to the United Nations Jul. 15, 2006 - present |
Succeeded by: Incumbent |
Gruenberg and the United Nations |
---|
Main topic |
Resolutions: Repeal "UCPL" • Repeal "Right to Divorce" • Repeal "The Law of the Sea" • Abortion Legality Convention • UN Demining Survey • Repeal "Banning the Use of Landmines" • UN Recycling Commission • Child Pornography Prohibition • UN Educational Aid Act • Individual Working Freedoms • Clothing Supply Pact • Fair Sentencing Act • Repeal "Hearing Impaired Aid Act" |
Staff: Biggles McXiminez |
Former staff: Jianna Woltzten • Zlott Woltzten • Rittel Wenkein • Moltan Bausch • Nuck Chorris • Rono Pyandran • Lurs Lennto• Pendle Korbitz • Kirby Duggan • Iffne Hevan • Lori Jiffjeff |