Difference between revisions of "Iffne Hevan"
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*[http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11368549&postcount=48 Official profile] | *[http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11368549&postcount=48 Official profile] | ||
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Revision as of 11:42, 12 November 2006
- This article refers to the Gruenberger lawyer and UN official Iffne Hevan. Many other people in his family share his name, but are only unexceptionally boring, and hence do not merit articles.
Nationality | Gruenberger |
Current position | Personal Assistant to the Ambassador to the UN |
Former occupation | Intellectual property rights lawyer |
Contents
Early life
Hevan was born in Flurthwel, the only child of Iffne and Iffna Hevan, respectively an accountant and a legal secretary. At the age of 15 he reached the national finals of Gruenberg's National Chess Championship, and has won the tournament on several subsequent occasions. He was expelled from school for being too boring, but reinstated on writing an exceptionally boring letter of apology. He attended the Central University of Flurthwel, where he took a degree in law, and then took his training at his mother's firm. He is married to Doris Hevan, and has two children, both called Iffne. His transfer to the Gruenberger Office of UN Affairs was the first time he had been outside Flurthwel.
Personal views
Hevan has been a lifelong member of the Monarchist Party, and has generally been held to be an orthodox conservative. He supports capitalism, free trade and tort reform, but also environmental and anti-trust regulation, and a basic welfare system. On social issues, he has maintained a consistently authoritarian stance, opposing abortion, euthanasia and gay marriage, but also supporting gun control, drug prohibition and road safety initiatives, and is active in the campaign to instate mandatory seat belt laws in Gruenberg. He is a fan of crosswords, logic puzzles, photography, and hardcore S&M pornography.
Professional career
Hevan chose to specialise in intellectual property law, feeling this would maximise the dullness of his work, and practiced in Flurthwel. Although he worked on a few cases early on, a full decade of his career was spanned by a single case, Bergman v. Kikki, during which he droned on and on about some boring legal shit. Long after both plaintiff and defendant, as well as eight members of the jury, had passed away, he carried on. The case was eventually settled out of court, and let to the hugely popular ruling in Everyone v. That tool that he needed "to just shut up already".
The United Nations
With the appointment of Princess Jianna as Ambassador to the United Nations, a host of advisors were hand-picked by Grand Vizier Mikkolic Weltin. He proposed Hevan as advisor on IP issues, and was supported by the Flurthwel Chamber of Commerce, who said they "just wanted to get rid of the fucker". However, in the wake of the UN Copyright Convention, international boredom on issues of copyright, chiefly as part of a reaction against the incessant ramblings of the representative of Discoraversalism, led to disillusionment with the idea. With Hevan already assigned to be a part of the delegation, he was retasked to be Personal Assistant to Princess Jianna. This has mainly involved helping her recover from hangovers; since she has taken on more ceremonial duties, he has been free to discuss policy, though has rarely done so. He announced Gruenberg's support for Repeal "Public Domain", but did not involve himself in the debate.1
Notes
Additional materials