ESAT national football team

The Esati national football team is the official football team of the Extraterritorial Sovereign Ariddian Territory. It is composed entirely of amateurs, and has never played outside Uhuhland. ESAT may well hold the record for the worst defeat in the history of international football: a 0-48 loss to Ariddia, conceding in excess of one goal every two minutes.

Several of ESAT's players are in their forties and even fifties, and it is not uncommon for Esati players to become exhausted before the end of a match, and ask to leave the field. And, if the team does finish with eleven players still on the pitch, several will usually be too tired to run or even walk much.

ESAT's 6-5 victory over Ariddian Antarctica, its heroic 0-4 performance against Gnatanamo in the team's first ever match, and a goal scored against San Adriano (by Pierre Lueur; final score: 1-26) during the Fourth Uhuhland Cup have all been heralded as moments of glory in the team's history. More recently, ESAT scored nine goals in a football match against a team of kleptochasers from Az-cz, losing by nine goals to thirty-one.

Notable players

• Desmond White, #11, attacker/captain
• Annabel Mild, #4, defender
• Kim Min-Sun, #6, midfielder

Matches

Played: 19
Won/Drawn/Lost: 1 0 18
Current World ranking: n/a
Goals scored: 16
Goals conceded: 534

The ulek

The ulek is an ancient Wymgani war chant performed by the team's players at the beginning of every match. For more information, see the article on the ulek.

External links

• "ESAT celebrates triumphant defeat" against Az-cz's kleptochasers