Difference between revisions of "Jenny Chiang"

Revision as of 23:30, 19 August 2007

Jenny Chiang
Nation Omigodtheykilledkenny Military Rank CDR, FRN Titles Deputy National Security Adviser; Security Attaché to the United Nations Age 29 Once said "We're not baking cookies here; we're crafting international law, and there's no reason on Earth why we shouldn't express the positions of our respective governments with all due clarity and bluntness. ... You wanna make friends? Go visit the Strangers' Bar -- and as long as we're tossing out clichés, if ya can't take the heat, buddy, get the fuck out of the kitchen!"

Jenny Chiang, described as "a macho Navy commando in a corset and a thong" [1], is the Federal Republic's deputy national security adviser, acting ambassador to the United Nations, and an informal rep to UN DEFCON. An officer in a naval "Stripper Commandos" brigade during the Kawaiian Kitten Revolution, Chiang was afforded the rank of Navy commander in March 2006 and given command over the security detail for OMGTKK's UN mission. President Manuelo Fernanda appointed her deputy to National Security Adviser Karen Greene in 2007 (probably to stave off a potential sexual-harassment lawsuit [2]). Chiang's surname derives from that of Chinese republican hero Chiang Kai-shek, from whom the commander claims direct lineage.

When her former superior, ex-Ambassador Jack Riley, was placed on "medical leave," Chiang was granted authority to formulate mission policy, especially as it applied to national- and international-security matters. She now speaks for the Federal Republic during most General Assembly floor debates and drafting sessions, and is considered the more blunt and "brutally honest" speaker on OMGTKK's UN team. She is a steadfast advocate for rudeness, profanity and incivility on the UN floor. As former security attaché, her rather zealous efforts at protecting the mission and its staff from perceived threats have come under scrutiny: she has been accused, if not formally charged, with using torture on terror suspects [3], spearheading "illegal" wiretaps [4], and installing listening devices in the UN Strangers' Bar [5], where she is a frequent customer.

She is said to share an excellent rapport with former Amb. Sammy Faisano, now an adviser to the mission.

Additional Material

• Profiles on OMGTKK UN Mission Staff

Officials of the Fernanda Administration
Manuelo Fernanda | Antigone Morgan | Alex Tehrani | Jack Riley | Jimmy Baca | Charlie Valentine | Karen Greene | Susa Batko-Yovino | Jenny Chiang