Difference between revisions of "Omigodtheykilledkenny"

Latest revision as of 17:37, 14 October 2007

The Federal Republic of
Omigodtheykilledkenny

National Flag National Seal
National motto: You bastards!
In detail
Official languages	English (de facto), Spanish (widely spoken)
Capital	Paradise City
Largest city	San Andreas
Government  - President  - Vice President	Federal republic Manuelo Fernanda Antigone Morgan
UN Status
Nation Code	KNNY
Population	5.1 billion
GDP (PPP)  - Total  - Per capita	$231.4 billion $45,622.09
Establishment	February 11, 1785
Constitution  - Ratified  - Effective	October 5, 1785 February 11, 1785 (retroactive)
Major Religions	Protestantism, Roman Catholicism, Judaism, Islam
Currency	tree-fiddy (TRFD)
Internet TLD	.omg .tkk .kny
Calling Code	350
Time zone	PCTC +0/-1
HDI	0.954 - very high
National anthem	"Little Boy, You're Going to Hell"
National mascot	Nessie

This article relates to a specific NS nation that often calls itself "the Federal Republic." For the article relating to the federal system of governance as it applies to NationStates, please see federal republic.

The Federal Republic of Omigodtheykilledkenny is a medium-sized Antarctic nation, boasting a fiercely patriotic, flag-waving, (obviously) cold-averse, intelligent, well-educated, literate, (American) football-loving, devoutly religious and heavily armed citizenry. Unfortunately, the nation's citizens also rank among the dumbest in the world [1] and are easily swayed by catchy slogans, jingles and clever marketing gimmicks -- which has allowed corporations to assume total control over their society and political system.

Founded on a centrist democratic tradition, the Omigodtheykilledkenny government has since become a virtual subsidiary of the national corporate conglomerate. Economic freedoms are unparalleled, corporate dominance is near-absolute, economic restrictions and regulations are almost non-existent, and members of the national labor force enjoy no guaranteed rights. This has resulted in a massive economic boom, and has set the groundwork for domestic industries to develop cutting-edge technological advances, making the Federal Republic an economic superpower in its region and bringing its leading companies to the very forefront of international trade and commerce.

According to the United Nations, the Federal Republic is a notorious Corporate Bordello (and sometimes an Anarchy), although the nation maintains a strong democratic tradition and a mind for human rights -- mostly because the government's corporate masters believe they can profit the most from a democratic government: a more oppressive regime practicing repeated extrajudicial killings, beatings or detentions would cut into their customer base. The nation's people and laws embrace free speech for adherents of even the most radical and unpopular ideologies.

People and Society

Kennyites, numbering over 5 billion locally and over 1 billion more abroad, are an amazingly resourceful people, and despite their religious devotion (91 percent believe in some sort of deity, and 63 percent attend religious services at least once a month), Kennyite society and culture, as expressed in films, television, literature, sports, live entertainment and the arts, is commercially secular -- aside from the occasional "John 3:16" placard at sporting events and "Touched by an Angel" rerun. Kennyites are also extremely patriotic ("Kenny worship" is disturbingly prevalent) and armed to the teeth (60 percent of households have at least one firearm). Most are literate, although much of this is only functional literacy, as the universal public-education system tends to emphasize "stuff that really matters." [2]

Crime

Kennyites are a remarkably unruly bunch, will find any little excuse to explode in violent outbursts, and cities will often descend into chaos and disorder as a result. Private citizens riot to make their voices heard over some of the most trivial matters you can think of. One 2006 multi-city riot is said to have started over Katie Couric taking over CBS Evening News; other riots resulted from the Federal Republic outlawing marriage during the brief period in December 2005 that the UN Right to Divorce resolution was in effect. [3] Violent demonstrations, car bombs, exploding penguins, IEDs, and bombings of government buildings and business establishments frequently occur in the OMGTKK capital of Paradise City (which tourism officials have taken to calling "Baghdad without the Burqas!" [4]), where civil unrest has become so commonplace that organized crime rackets (many with their own corporate sponsors) have taken advantage of the anarchy and are now said to be the real governors of much of the metropolis. Nearby Basin City is in a similar straits, as, to a lesser extent, are major cities like San Andreas and Thorograd.

Two main groups have found an upside to widespread malcontent: terrorists and the government. The terrorists, because lawlessness obviously allows them to carry out more strikes against the Great Satan of Omigodtheykilledkenny. Many homegrown terror groups, especially Xt'Tapolopaquetl militants (natives long embittered over OMGTKK's "occupation" of their rightful Amerantan lands 221 years ago), have found Paradise City a very conducive environment for breeding their radical ideologies. The Federal Republic has charged several high-profile groups, like the Kill Kenny! Party, with having links to international terrorist organizations like al-Jharad. The government benefits from civil disorder because it allows them to blame foreign scapegoats for all their people’s misery, and rally the public behind military actions against whichever rogue state happens to slip into the Federal Republic’s crosshairs.

Despite the relative calm of the rest of the nation, the upsurge in violence in major cities has made the Federal Republic a very dangerous place to live. Yet for some reason, the HDI rating for OMGTKK is "very high" -– if Ceorana is to be believed, that is (and it isn’t; Kennyites place little stock in whatever any scummy foreigners have to say about their country).

Culture, Entertainment and Sports

Though most Kennyites are exceptionally, er, dimwitted (the average IQ of a Kennyite expat living in one of them more intelligent nations, like Ausserland or Pacitalia, ranges maybe in the 70s or 80s), there does exist within the Federal Republic an elite class of academics and intellectuals (believe it or not), scientists, innovators, businessmen, artists, politicos and overclass-types, projecting accomplishments in their respective fields the world over. And politicians assure their constituents that these free-thinkers will soon be crushed like the treasonous slime that they are.

A booming entertainment industry is based mainly in the Follywood district of San Andreas: Some of the world’s worst actors, including current Vice President Antigone Morgan, have found their beginnings here. From Follywood, terrible movies and television programs are distributed to bad-cinema and -TV lovers worldwide. Reality programming, and cartoons like "South Park," "The Simpsons and "Family Guy," are especially popular, as is pornography (the current president was elected on a strongly pro-porn platform). Kennyites are also avid readers, albeit mostly of publications like Hustler and Guns and Ammo.

The Federal Republic is also home to one of the world’s most spectacularly awful soccer teams. However, most sports-lovers religiously follow American football teams like the Thorograd Nessies, the San Andreas Rubes and the Paradise City Dumbasses. Teams from the nearby Palentine, like The 'Burgh Defenestrators, are quite popular as well. Fans flock to basketball games (and dutifully start riots afterward) featuring Kenny NBA teams such as the Chocolate Salty Balls. Baseball has also produced many (ambiguously gay) star athletes, notably Carlos Medina of the San Edmundo Rednecks and TJ Parker of the Ciudad Compadres.

Demographics

OMGTKK is a broad-based, pluralistic, multicultural, multireligious, multiethnic society. Though most citizens are white, hundreds of millions of Latinos (white/Xt'Tapolopaquetl mix) inhabit the nation's cities; Pacific Islanders also have a strong presence. The devoutly religious people are mostly Protestant and evangelical, though large numbers of Roman Catholics, Jews and Muslims attend weekend services. A few also continue to worship in the Church of the Almighty Dollar, the product of a ham-handed attempt by corporate leaders to compel the citizenry to worship the corporations, free markets and capitalist enterprise (apparently not realizing the people already do so secularly). The Antarctic natives are said to worship their ancient leader, Avilla the Hun.

English is almost universally spoken among the Federal Republic citizenry, though many also speak Spanish. A large baby boom a couple decades back has resulted in a recent population spike and disproportionately large number of youth, contributing to the rise in crime.

Statistics

• Race: 63% non-Hispanic White, 20% Latino, 9% Pacific Islander, 5% Xt'Tapolopaquetl native, 2% Other
• Religion: 51% Protestant, 32% Roman Catholic, 7% Other Christian, 5% Jewish, 4% Muslim, 1% Other
• Age: 13% 65+, 27% 35-64, 40% 18-35, 20% 17-

Observed Holidays in OMGTKK

<div" class="plainlinksneverexpand">

Xt'Tapolopaquetl natives, angry and belligerent like any good
Kennyites, protest annual Festival of Thor celebrations, which honor the OMGTKK founder who defeated the natives' historic ruler.

Government and Politics

Omigodtheykilledkenny is a federal republic, and as such adheres to the principles of federalism and republicanism. Thus, the federal government is divided into co-equal executive, legislative and judicial branches, and relinquishes many powers to the republic's 25 sovereign states. Though the people participate in universal, open, free, fair and democratic elections, corporations control the entire process, writing party platforms, bankrolling political advertising, approving speeches and campaign promises, and openly sponsoring their preferred candidates -- who are often seen on the campaign trail sporting racing jackets decorated with colorful corporate logos.

Two main parties dominate the political landscape: the pro-gun, pro-military, pro-life, anti-tax, anti-government, anti-UN God-fearing, Freedom-loving Conservative Patriot Party -- to which the current president belongs -- and the opposition anti-gun, anti-war, pro-choice, pro-government, pro-UN Pansy-ass Liberal Hippy Treehugger Party. Former President John Thorne, now a senator, leads the opposition. Conservatives currently control the bicameral Federal Congress.

The federal government currently holds offices at 10 Frowning Street in Paradise City. Omigodtheykilledkenny is able to house all its federal offices in one heavily fortified complex (containing several skyscrapers and a massive Capitol building), because the nation currently allocates zero funds for an administrative budget. The government's former digs at Thor Plaza were heroically burned to the ground by terror-arsonists in 2000.

Manuelo Fernanda, a former pro-boxer going by the nickname "The Destructor from Del Fuego, Mexico," is the current President of the Federal Republic. Sponsored by Blast! Cola, Fernanda pledged during his 2005 election campaign to address the threats posed by rogue nations with weapons of mass destruction, and furthermore promised "to kick some serious terrorist ass!" He accused Thorne, his rather bland opponent, of being unpatriotic, and was elected handily.

Constitution of the Federal Republic

The Constitution of Omigodtheykilledkenny is the Law of the Land, and preserves the rule of law and the rights of Kennyite citizens. Handed down by the first Kennyite president and his cronies in 1785, it divides the federal government into three separate, co-equal branches: the Legislative, consisting of a bicameral congress packed with corrupt, self-serving, corporate-bankrolled elected representatives; the Executive, consisting of a corrupt, self-serving, corporate-bankrolled president and vice president and all executive appointees; and the Judiciary, the only non-elected branch, consisting of corrupt, self-serving, corporate-bankrolled judges of lower courts, and 12 Supreme Court Justices -- all of whom deem it their God-given right to rewrite the nation's laws by fiat. This, of course, counters the UN gnomes' own claims to that right, and if weren't for the national shoot-on-sight policy regarding gnomes, they would have usurped and restaffed the judiciary long ago.

All branches are in constant feud, usually over which branch the corporations love best; they repeatedly cancel out each other's actions, and consequently, very little gets done -- and that's just the way the first Kennyite president would have wanted it. The corporations love it, and often stoke the interbranch discord; for an inefficient, do-nothing government is a government that governs least and preserves the power of the real leaders of Omigodtheykilledkenny: the Corporate Conglomerate, whose role in governance is little-mentioned in the Constitution.

Much authority under the central document is surrendered to the 25 sovereign states of the Federal Republic, all of which are governed under the same system as the federal government, and led by politicians every bit as corrupt, self-serving, corporate-bankrolled and consumed by intragovernmental contempt as their federal counterparts.

Federal Congress

Consisting of an Assembly and a Senate, the bicameral Federal Congress is the national legislature, members of each house being popularly elected. The Congress is where the nation's competing corporate interests flex their political muscle; they urge their supporters in both houses to use "whatever means necessary" to pass their pet legislation: most often this includes violence, and congressional sessions usually degenerate into all-out brawls, with dueling coalitions attempting to beat the other side into submission. [5] Amazingly, no one has died in these bloody political wars.

Assembly

The lower house, which has the "power of the purse," so to speak, and initiates all federal appropriations, has 650 members, in most cases representing districts with relatively equal numbers of people. The Assembly also holds the power of impeachment. States are entitled to elect a number of Assemblymen proportionate to their population; the Constitution ensures that all states are afforded at least three. Assemblymen are elected to serve 2.5-year terms.

Senate

The upper house, which ratifies treaties and confirms executive appointees, consists of three to five elected representatives from each state. The Senate also tries all impeachments, convicting accused officials by a two-thirds vote. Although there are currently 100 senators, each state has only one vote in the upper chamber. Senators serve 7-year terms.

Executive Branch

<div" class="plainlinksneverexpand">

"The Destructor from Del Fuego, Mexico," Manuelo Fernanda, President of the Federal Republic, during a Frowning Street news conference.

Its membership apportioned according to the congressional contingency of each state, a 725-member Electoral College chooses the nation's highest-ranking elective officers, the president and vice president of the Federal Republic, to serve 5-year terms. Because the two are elected separately, it is possible the a president and vice president may belong to different political parties. Currently, the president belongs a major national political party while the vice president is a political independent.

All executive powers are retained by the president, including serving as Commander in Chief of the armed forces; appointing ambassadors, envoys and agency and department heads; hosting foreign dignitaries; advocating the nation's interests abroad; lobbying for preferred legislation in the Federal Congress; and signing acts of Congress into law or vetoing the same. The vice president chairs the Senate and pretty much sits around and waits for the president to die, leave the country or take sick. Then she is in charge.

Key Cabinet Officials

See also: Fernanda Administration

International Affairs

Main article: OMGTKK foreign affairs

On the world stage, Omigodtheykilledkenny is a little-respected, pissant little nation with a funny name that constantly invades other pissant little nations with funny names. The Federal Republic considers itself an isolated nation in a remote corner of the world (Antarctica is about as remote as you're gonna get), and has little use for allies. It has, however, entered into a few bilateral and multilateral arrangements, including the agreement to defend its regional partners through the Allied Antarctic Asskickers regional pact -- as well as informal defense agreements with nations such as The Palentine and Cobdenia, and the enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-friend understanding it has forged with Lois-Must-Die. OMGTKK is also a signatory of the Antarctic Oasis Economic Advancement Agreement.

In recognition of the fact that OMGTKK is basically a playground for capitalist scum, the Federal Senate recently voted 15-14 to ratify the ACCEL Treaty. No one is certain where the four extra votes came from, as Senate members share only 25 votes among them, but it's pretty much accepted that the vote was rigged. The Federal Republic formerly belonged to Mutual Aid Pact, but withdrew after it concluded it was about as useful as a bucket of warm piss. Only until very recently did the Federal Republic resist opening formal diplomatic channels with outside nations: Omigodtheykilledkenny currently recognizes about 40 nations diplomatically.

United Nations

Main article: OMGTKK and the United Nations

Determined to withdraw from the United Nations when it came into office in June 2005, the Fernanda Administration found the sheer volume of paperwork necessary to pull out a successful resignation a pain in the friggin' neck, and so decided to stay on for the time-being. Sure, legislating in its own borders would remain a pointless exercise (for whatever laws the nation managed to pass, the gnomes would eventually rewrite them, or attempt to do so), but rather than rail against its fate, the Federal Republic pulled the gloves off and came out swinging on the General Assembly floor, poised to repeal every UN resolution not securely nailed down. Its Repeal "Protection of Dolphins Act" and Repeal "Fossil Fuel Reduction Act" went down in flames, but such defeats were tempered by the surprising, if bittersweet, success of Repeal "Gay Rights" in Feb. 2006. OMGTKK has been notable for supporting free-trade agreements and opposing most disarmament accords (a rare exception being Nuclear Non-Proliferation Act), and it has not supported a single human rights proposal in its entire history. It was a chief critic of Ecopoeia's Freedom of Conscience act. Then, on the heels of the defeat of the Anti-Terrorism Act, the Federal Republic, showing the flair for tactful diplomacy and international stewardship that has made it so famous, threw a tantrum and resigned. It cast its vote via UN puppets until UN Counterterrorism Initiative finally passed in July 2006.

Though very active in UN affairs, the Federal Republic remains openly hostile to the international organization. In addition to the previously mentioned shoot-on-sight order for any UN official caught violating the nation's sovereign borders, OMGTKK supervises the regionwide countergnome operations, carried out by The Gnomish Warbands and elite penguin gnome-hunting commandos. The Federal Republic comes into "compliance" with UN mandates through its Creative Solutions Agency, which advises the government on how best to exploit loopholes in UN legislation.

The Federal Republic's ambassador to the UN was formerly Jack Riley, an undiplomatic, UN-hating smart aleck who once declared -- only half-jokingly -- that the United Nations headquarters be demolished and the body move to new digs "in the basement of a crackhouse in south-central Paradise City. We wouldn't even charge rent." His appointment was highly controversial, however, and was never confirmed by the Federal Senate. Riley was placed on administrative "medical" leave in June 2006, ostensibly to recover from a near-fatal allergic reaction to a gift of Norderian posies. During his absence, the ambassador, convinced the Apocalypse was at hand, catnapped an innocent Ardchoillean bystander at the Strangers' Bar, and was promptly sacked and exiled to The Eternal Kawaii as OMGTKK's "ambassador."

Riley's announced replacement was an ambitious young State Department flack named Sammy Faisano, who has been charged with improving the Federal Republic's image in the UN and proposing resolutions to improve trade relations and international security, though most of what he's accomplished so far is his involvement in a sex scandal with Vice President Morgan, the accusations for which were highly salacious, poorly evidenced and (disappointingly) untrue. Faisano has authored three resolutions since his arrival at UN Headquarters, all of which have failed. His deputy is Jessie McArthur, a lovable nutcase with no diplomatic experience, but plenty of cleavage. Rightfully endowed in her own right, the president's deputy national security adviser, Cdr. Jenny Chiang, serves as security attaché to the UN, and often speaks on her delegation's behalf where defense matters are concerned.

Oh yeah, and the Federal Republic strongly supports the ideals of national sovereignty and the sovereigntist movement blah blah blah micromanagement by ass! blah blah these so-called "international federalists" can suck my blah blah blah must! ... crush! ... cultural! ... imperialism! blah blah nuke the otters. It is a member of the National Sovereignty Organization and UN DEFCON. It loathes Ausserland.

Kenny Armed Forces

<div" class="plainlinksneverexpand">

Good advice.

One of the most efficient fighting forces in the world, mob-connected Defense Secretary Charlie Valentine nonetheless has found a way to cut costs even further by purchasing equipment and munitions that fell off the back of a truck. Costs are also saved by exploiting the Antarctic avian natives, who have proven extremely loyal, territorial, and aggressive warriors in defense of their homeland -- and since their home colonies do not have a monetary system, they do not require pay. Kennyite forces operate in small, light and agile brigades, and although they contain conventional Army, Navy, Marine, Air Force and Coast Guard branches, the KAF are hardly conventional. Kennyite ingenuity has produced some of the most irregular weapons and forces known to man:

• Penguin Special Operations Forces have conducted many successful raids against the evil UN gnomes, and their lack of opposable thumbs hasn't affected their aim, either. In honor of the legendary Dr. Evil, these masked devils are equipped with "freakin' laser beams attached to their heads!"
• C4 Penguins are an odd breed of native Antarctican whose origin is a closely guarded state secret. Their propensity to explode at inopportune moments has made them a rather handy projectile to drop on enemies from 15,000 feet. [6]
• Exotic Special Operations Forces ("Stripper Commandos") are specially trained, armed, equipped and, er, endowed to extract concessions or surrender from any man. They're exceptionally good in the face of a women-hating jihadist enemy, or one that frowns upon indecency. Defiling their temples with "obscene" performances is fun. [7] There are also Male Stripper Commandos, but they are only employed as a desperate last resort, or if the enemy is gay. [8]
• Gay Spray has been perfected by Kennyite scientists. Instead of taking hours to work, like your ordinary run-of-the-mill gay spray, Kennyite gay spray takes effect almost instantaneously -- which is a lot funnier. Kennyite forces will routinely play appropriate "mood music" over loudspeakers as they fire canisters filled with the powerful aphrodisiac into enemy lines. [9]
• The Doomsday Weapon emits such horrible, terrifying screeches, and causes such irreparable physical and psychological damage to all who see or hear it, an online petition calling for its immediate decommission has collected over 400,000 signatures. No dice.

As they continue to advance the fight against terror and rogue nations across the globe, the Kenny Armed Forces vow to progress the art of extraordinary warfare, and enrage and entertain the international community at large.

Economy

<div" class="plainlinksneverexpand">

Pepsi Corporation
"More Powerful than God."

For a nation its size, the economy of the Federal Republic is extremely powerful, and has seen very few serious economic slumps since its founding; the Kennyite currency, the tree-fiddy, is equally powerful -- all thanks in part to unrelenting economic libertarianism and free-market policies, and to government leaders whoring themselves to the corporations like Christina Aguilera to some sweaty, filthy, half-naked guy in one of her music videos. Led by a booming uranium-mining industry, the Federal Republic belongs to UNOG's Uranium Magnates Association. Together with powerhouse energy companies -- including the notorious Arrogant Bastard Oil (whose name is a blatant copyright infringement on a Stone Brewing Co. trademark) -- they dominate both the corporate landscape and the literal landscape, raping the Earth far below the Antarctic ices for natural resources to power the nation and its surrounding region and trading partners.

Also leading the band of Omigodtheykilledkenny's many greedy capitalists are the insurance industry (led by Screw You! Insurance: "When we say jump, you better say 'How high?'"), automobile manufacturers (Colorado Island's Torrance Motors is internationally recognized as a leading auto company), arms manufacturers (the gun-totin' locals gotta arm themselves somehow), and, inexplicably enough, beef ranchers: no one is sure how these intrepid entrepreneurs raise the cattle in year-round sub-zero temperatures, but they do it somehow.

Sorry, Charlie Brown, but Kennyites and Kennyite society are commercial to the core, and damn proud of it. The Pepsi Corporation ("More Powerful than God") routinely tortures the public with cheesy Britney Spears commercials, and Disney owns just about everything that computer-software giant MacroHard and Starbucks haven't touched, and runs several theme parks in the Federal Republic's major cities. Major organized crime rackets control many lucrative black-market storefronts.

Corporate Conglomerate

Representatives from leading Kennyite industries all hold seats in the Federal Republic's secretive and nary-discussed Corporate Conglomerate. No one is quite sure what these elite businessmen and -women do behind closed doors, as they never reveal anything to the public. Are they plotting world domination? Are they shaping the Federal Republic's destiny? Are they passing on secret instructions and directives to their clientèle in the Fernanda Administration, Federal Congress and statehouses? Are they simply getting drunk off their asses and daring each other to perform insane stunts? No one knows for sure. But one thing is certain: ordinary citizens are wise not to cross them. They will be crushed by the corporations' most powerful weapon: the lawyers.

Land and Climate

Geographically, the Federal Republic occupies the Antarctic Peninsula and neighboring ice shelves and island chains, and controls the Sea of the Bastards. The outlying territories are God-forsaken frozen wilderness that few are foolhardy enough to negotiate, and thus there are no established political borders. However, stories tell of an indomitable haven for Creepy Bastards to the south and east, and a legendary Spankingly Delicious Harem just beyond that; on the other side of the continent, tales tell, lies a powerful Evil Conservative Empire, supposedly making fiendish plans to inflict its Militant Barbaric Machismo™ on the world.

<div" class="plainlinksneverexpand">

By the light of the midnight sun, the majestic Amadean Mountains look over Summit City outside the Kenny Memorial District.

The land is constantly stricken by Antarctic winter, but the nation and the people have adapted swimmingly. Majestic ice metropolises and seaports challenge the indomitable glaciers, ice shelves and icebergs, and beneath the icy plains (the ones not already spoiled by mining) lie extensive underground research laboratories, built so to hide the government’s rogue operations while UN chemical- and biological-weapons bans were still in effect.

Some of the most unconquerable natural structures in the NationStates world, the imposing Antarctic Peaks stretch from the northern tip of the Antarctic Peninsula all the way down to the eastern borders of the state of Xt'Kalifia. Among the peaks is the legendary T-71, (lovingly nicknamed "The Widowmaker" from a "Simpsons" episode), lined with the frozen-over corpses of men foolhardy enough to climb it. One of the most magnificent sites in OMGTKK is the majestic ice palace of mysterious origin just outside Paradise City, the Indomitable Fortress of Avilla the Hun -- which has housed embassies, diplomats and foreign dignitaries since the Federal Republic’s arrival in Antarctica. Legend says that the psychotic Avilla constructed the palace over 1,000 years ago in order to defend the natives against the human aggressors, but little evidence exists to verify the myth. [10]

History

Omigodtheykilledkenny was founded in 1785 by desperate pilgrims seeking to escape persecution by the bloodthirsty Killer Prostitutes of the fearsome Nath-Nath Death Cult in their home country, the name and location of which has since been misplaced. Led by gallant explorer Thor, the weary pilgrims eventually found the spacious and mostly unpopulated continent of Ameranta, and soon made contact with the mischievous Xt'Tapolopaquetl natives there. But after weeks of having to endure the natives' foolishness and practical jokes, Thor bravely led the pilgrims to defeat the mighty Xt'Tapolopaquetl on Feb. 11, putting down the native Emperor Cuauhtémoc and fiercely wedgying him and his followers. Thor then established the Federal Republic and named himself president.

Recent History

In 2000, following several terrorist incidents in Ameranta, the Federal Republic pledged itself to address the terrorist and WMD threats posed by the rogue, oil- and blood-soaked desert region of Valdesia. It invaded the hostile nation of Lois-Must-Die the same year, forcing regime change and holding elections, which resulted in the rise to power of another evil dictator, but a much more Ameranta-friendly one. For years, Omigodtheykilledkenny maintained a massive military presence in Lois-Must-Die, increasing its intelligence capabilities in the troubled region.

Three years after the Lois-Must-Die invasion, the Federal Republic expressed its intention to leave Ameranta if its left-wing founder would not halt its expulsions of nations it deemed too "dictatorial" for the "democratic" region. It did leave, cutting a deal with Valdesia's founder to realign much of its occupying forces in Lois-Must-Die in exchange for Valdesian real estate. A 2005 seismic catastrophe destroyed Valdesia and enveloped most of its nations, only a few escaping to an Antarctic refuge -- including the Federal Republic.

Foreign policy having softened under John Thorne, the new administration of Manuelo Fernanda has adopted a neoconservative hardline on terror and rogue states, weathering widespread criticism among the international community for its actions in invading the tiny island of Tiki Taki, The Eternal Kawaii and Chechnya, among others.

Additional Material

• Kenny's One-Stop Diplomacy Shop!
  
• Chaos in the Eternal Kawaii: The Kitten Revolution
  
• Kenny gives UN the finger!
  
• Respect our authoritah!!
• Kenny Strikes Back!
• Happy February 11 Everyone!
  
• A Day in Omigodtheykilledkenny